BREAKING: NC Lt Gov. Confesses: "I have dyslexia"

[BaronChocula]

Last edited Thu Sep 19, 2024, 06:21 PM - Edit history (1)

On Thursday embattled North Carolina Lieutenant Governor and GOP nominee for governor in the state has called a press conference to address posts he made in online porn platforms stating he was a black nazi.

"You see I have dyslexia. I get my letters all messed up." The sweaty candidate continued "What I meant to say on that porn site was that I was a black aniz. You know the bodily coifire, I mean orifice. See I just did it again. Oh and I'm also a bad speller. But I now know how to correctly spell anus. Gays are filth and I won't be taking questions at this time."

More on this story as it develops.

_____
No, not Borowitz...
But yes, fake!

[Think. Again.]

1. You're messing with my head because I can believe he said that.

[elleng]

2. That's not ALL he has, sounds like!!!

[texasfiddler]

3. I have Dyslexia as well and I am voting for Kamala Harris!!!!!!!

FCKU YUO MTHURE FCKRE

[cyclonefence]

9. Em oot!

[Norbert]

4. Henry Winkler has dyslexia too

But he does none of this shit.

[BaronChocula]

12. Henry Winkler is the total opposite of Robinson

Just a sweet sweet man. A Total mensch.

[Initech]

5. That's no excuse for being a Nazi douchebag.

[Cha]

6. Uh... I went to the bottom of this

page immediately looking for "Satire"... WTF!

[Biophilic]

7. So this was real? Have we truly fallen down the rabbit hole?

[BaronChocula]

13. Edited to denote fake nature

I didn't think anyone would possibly believe this. After all, who would cap off a press conference with "gays are filth," but then again, this guy seems to have endless surprises.

[edbermac]

8. Sounds like the Onion.

[BaronChocula]

14. We'll call it "The Funyun"

I was just goofing off. I didn't think anyone would think it was serious.

[TommyT139]

10. A diagnosis is not an excuse.

Also -- is this real? If not, please clarify.

[Xavier Breath]

11. I saw an article about it on Forbes, no less.

Republican North Carolina gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson referred to himself as a “Black Nazi,” disparaged Martin Luther King Jr., used antisemitic and homophobic slurs and spoke highly of slavery on a pornographic website before his entrance into politics, according to a new CNN report—as Robinson denies making the comments.

He also talks about how slavery is not bad and how he "...would certainly buy a few."

https://www.forbes.com/sites/saradorn/2024/09/19/north-carolina-gov-candidate-mark-robinson-called-himself-black-nazi-backed-slaverys-return-on-porn-forum-report-says/

[lastlib]

15. "I have sex daily. I mean,.....

I have dylsexia. No, no, I mean DYSLEXIA! There--I FINALLY got it right...."

Thats his story, and he's sticking to it.