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question everything

(48,811 posts)
Tue Nov 27, 2018, 10:26 PM Nov 2018

The Late-Term Abortion I Didn't Want

By Molly Jong-Fast

A federal judge last week struck down a Mississippi law banning abortion after 15 weeks of pregnancy. Even supporters of abortion rights may wonder why a woman would need an abortion so late.

I was 24 when I accidentally got pregnant... My doctor, serious but chipper, had a very worried look on her face as my husband and I sat in her Fifth Avenue office. She told us: “You both carry a Jewish genetic disease called Canavan’s.” “OK,” my husband said, as I tried to digest the news. The doctor went on: “Canavan’s is fatal. Canavan’s babies don’t live past 5 years old. Since you and your husband are carriers of Canavan’s, you have a 1 in 4 chance of having an affected fetus. You cannot carry an affected fetus to term. The fatality rate for Canavan’s disease is 100%.”

By this point, I was crying. “You’ll go and have a chorionic villus sampling,” she explained. The technology has since improved, but back then you could only have that test between 10 and 12 weeks. “And when the results come back you’ll be in your second trimester.” She paused, then said something that felt like a rebuke: “Unfortunately, I’m not trained to do second-trimester abortions, so you’d have to find someone else.”

(snip)

For the next 10 days I thought about the idea of getting rid of a baby I had grown to want desperately. A Canavan’s baby would have seizures, its brain would deteriorate, it would become paralyzed and blind, and eventually it—he—would die. He would spend years in agonizing decay, and we’d have to watch every day of it... We arrived at the genetic counselor’s office to learn our results. It turned out we won the lottery. My baby was not affected, not even a carrier.

He was born the following January, a strapping 9 pounds, 5 ounces. He is now 14, a freshman in high school. Having him was the greatest decision I ever made, but being forced to carry a terminally ill baby would have been the greatest tragedy of my life. That is why I am committed to keeping second-trimester abortions safe and legal.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-late-term-abortion-i-didnt-want-1543276878 (paid subscription)


8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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The Late-Term Abortion I Didn't Want (Original Post) question everything Nov 2018 OP
After two 2nd trimester miscarriages in my late 30's MontanaMama Nov 2018 #1
This... stopwastingmymoney Nov 2018 #2
It's up to the people who know You don't need dancing hot tub Tom Delay's opinion. rusty quoin Nov 2018 #3
I've avoided posting much about my experience Duppers Nov 2018 #4
I'm so sorry dawg day Nov 2018 #5
Exactly...sparing the baby pain. Duppers Nov 2018 #6
I am so sorry for your loss question everything Nov 2018 #7
To get the R C & other Conservative Christians out of your private parts, Liberal Insights Jan 2019 #8

MontanaMama

(24,023 posts)
1. After two 2nd trimester miscarriages in my late 30's
Tue Nov 27, 2018, 10:57 PM
Nov 2018

I got pregnant for a 3rd time when I was 41. I was thrilled and terrified at the same time. My obstetrician recommended genetic counseling and testing which my husband and I decided to go ahead with. The tests that were recommended had to be performed after 8 weeks gestation. We traveled 3 hours to see a doctor that could do the tests...taking a sample of the placenta which presented its own risks by itself and then had to wait at least two weeks for the results. It was agonizing. We had many heart wrenching conversations about what we would do if the tests came back positive for something terrible. 18 days after the genetic tests, I got a call that I could expect a genetically healthy baby. We did not find out the sex. I felt I had dodged a bullet and whether the baby was a boy or girl did not matter to me. It was not an easy pregnancy. I was on bed rest for the final 10 weeks but gave birth to a healthy 7lb baby boy who is now 13 and the love of my life. If my tests had come back differently I don’t know what decision I would have made in that moment. Regardless, any woman in that position should have the right to make that decision.

Duppers

(28,246 posts)
4. I've avoided posting much about my experience
Wed Nov 28, 2018, 01:25 AM
Nov 2018

Because it's just too emotional. But here's a summary: my baby was born with two *diagnosed birth defects* that ended in her death a few hours after her birth. My OB/GYN made me carry her to term, three decades ago, because he practiced medicine at a Catholic hospital.

This is very personal for me and to this day, I'm angry about it. Coincidentally, this came up this afternoon with my hubby.

Support the right to choose wisely. To the goons, it's always an open-and-shut case, which in reality is far from the truth.


dawg day

(7,947 posts)
5. I'm so sorry
Wed Nov 28, 2018, 01:35 AM
Nov 2018

The "pro-lifers" don't get it-- how very painful it is to love and lose, and they just want to make it even worse.

Late-term abortions are so often about sparing the child pain. The parents will have anguish no matter what, but less if they can spare the baby pain by ending it sooner.

Duppers

(28,246 posts)
6. Exactly...sparing the baby pain.
Wed Nov 28, 2018, 01:45 AM
Nov 2018

She had to struggle and suffer.
And this is what I've tried to explain to thick-headed fundies, including my own mother. But to no avail, gawd's will and all.

Thank you so, so much. I appreciate your understanding and care.



question everything

(48,811 posts)
7. I am so sorry for your loss
Wed Nov 28, 2018, 10:13 AM
Nov 2018

and how this deeply affects you and will for the rest of your life.

I wonder whether in those days there were support groups. And, perhaps, it is not too late to find one now.


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