It seems to me, divide and conquer works on almost every group.

[WingDinger]

This discussion thread was locked by Neoma (a host of the Feminists group).

Developments in society, and that have been brewing for some time, are no longer sublimated. Add to this, a whole new governance. Chaos, and inability to find ONE purpose are to be expected.

Compassion is in short supply.

In my estimation, MEN have not had feminists backs. Even here in DU. It is time to support our sisters while they increase their sense of safety and belonging.

I feel helpless to help. It seems that groups, believing they need some protection, for good reason, war with each other. This resembles the animosity that Blacks and Jews feel at times for each other.

The feminist forum, seems not to trust their plight in the hands of the general jury system.

They dont even agree how to term themselves, adding things to FEMINIST,not that there is anything inherently wrong with that.

All I am trying to say is, we wish you well. We will help in any way we can. You should feel safe. And there are many men here that will take on the fights you face. As I have heard from my own lips, others, and echoed, we are in this together.

The growing pains shown here, are some of the same ones in the fledgling democracies we have invaded into existence. Democracy within forum is a new development. We didnt fight so hard when mods were appointed from the top.

Give some time, and most important, space to screw up, by mortals. Just because people care, dont make them infallible.

This dissention is exactly what our enemies count on, when they scapegoat women, or any other group. Let Roll.

[seabeyond]

1. dont believe for a moment, there were not a lot of men involved. look around you.

how many men do you see stoking the fire. go into meta and check out the thread with the sole purpose to rally all of du into this, and see the number of men involved. and then of course, there is behind the scene.

you fall short to just see this as woman against woman. promise.

[WingDinger]

4. As I said, I dont think men have had Feminists backs. Even here in DU.

There is no charge of catfight, or any other. I understand the reasons why unity is hard to grasp.

Youall need to understand too, and cut each other some friggin slack.

[seabeyond]

6. when redqueen stepped down

i did not suggest iverglas or i take the host position. i suggested someone that i felt was neutral and would be acceptable. because i understand there is a group of women tht do not particular like the two of us. i did cut some friggin slack.

and look where it got us.

time and time again, i think you can see the same actions repeated.

[WingDinger]

7. I dont really feel it is my place to judge. So, I call for compassion.

And forgiveness. That is my place. And to say you all SHOULD feel safe amongst us. How we get there will take time.

[musette_sf]

19. + 1

definitely.

[redqueen]

2. "They dont even agree how to term themselves, adding things to FEMINIST"

That's unfair. Many here know "how to term themselves".

It's unfortunate that those divisions prevent people from feeling like they can participate constructively in discussions about whatever issues, but it's no different than the different political classifications and the infighting that goes on in GD about the nuances of those differences.

[boston bean]

3. yep, and the first thing that has to happen is the person in charge

of the group and egging it on, by breaching a trust and sharing private conversation, to create more division, must be removed as host.

As it stands now that person is standing tall as the victor. That is her reward if she is allowed to stay on in hosting duties.

[WingDinger]

5. That person has explained why a simple resolution was not likely.

She took actions as she saw them. Maybe totally wrong. But well meaning. Forgiveness is necessary.

That there NEEDS to be a victor is part of the problem. How do we all win?

[boston bean]

8. She is rewarded as a victor, that, that type of behavior is acceptable.

That's what I mean.

[WingDinger]

9. OK, I'll tell a story.

I was playing right field in little league. Season championships. A ball fell very near the line. So, the umpires allowed ME to determine whether it was in. I declared it just outside the line.

Howls of hate eminated from the opposing teams parents. I felt I would be burned at the stake and would need protection. I thought I was doing the right thing. As it turns out, there was no right thing, for all involved. That I, a child was placed in that position, was not fair. Leadership often is not fair.

[TeeYiYi]

10. Well, that's a cautionary tale...

So, was the ball really out? In your heart, what's the truth? ...

TYY

[WingDinger]

11. Yes, it was.

But now, the ball is in YOUR court. There seem to be NO restrictions to your chosen governance. What you choose, is what YOU all have chosen. I find that a rare privilege. Not one to squander.

I also am jealous of the POTENTIAL commaraderie that dominant groups lack. You have a community. I want one.

[TeeYiYi]

12. I'm a little confused by your reply...

I was just empathizing with your situation as a little kid. I wanted to understand the deeper meaning of the lesson you were offering. To do that, I needed to know your truth.

TYY

[WingDinger]

13. Sorry, my truth was, it taught me to stand against the world.

I find it easier now to do the hard thing, say the unpopular thing. Stand up for myself.

Sometimes I am so powerful, I scare myself. Honest. I could tell stories that you wouldnt believe. Stupidly disregarding my own safety etc. Sometimes, going thru the worst thing that could happen, makes you braver. My parents tell of my explaining I would punch a shark in the nose. Now, I marvel when others tell of how they survived, by punching the shark.

Fearlessness, is half of doing anything. And forgiveness of self, is half of getting back on the horse.

[Aerows]

14. It will not work here

Not if I have a say about it.

[WingDinger]

15. The divide and conquer tactic? Or forgiveness?

[Aerows]

16. Divide and Conquer

We all need to get on board with forgiveness, and letting petty insults go.

It's the petty insults that lead to divide and conquer, not remembering what we are here for - because we can do good things for one another, instead of holding onto grievances.

[WingDinger]

17. Let's Roll.

I think this group is going to discover strength, and even have fun.

[Aerows]

18. With or without you

We will.

[Rex]

20. Yep.

nt