Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search
10 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Very powerful PSA about Domestic Violence (Original Post) La Lioness Priyanka Jul 2012 OP
That is chilling. Vanje Jul 2012 #1
yes, it is chilling and powerful La Lioness Priyanka Jul 2012 #2
Same here. Starry Messenger Jul 2012 #6
Excellent, Priyanka -- thanks for posting obamanut2012 Jul 2012 #3
I remember those days kdmorris Jul 2012 #4
... La Lioness Priyanka Jul 2012 #5
It leaves permanent scars kdmorris Jul 2012 #8
I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I admire you for surviving for you and your children. yardwork Jul 2012 #7
At one point in my life, I had to let go of the rage/hatred kdmorris Jul 2012 #9
That is very powerful. Thank you for telling us about that. yardwork Jul 2012 #10
 

La Lioness Priyanka

(53,866 posts)
2. yes, it is chilling and powerful
Tue Jul 3, 2012, 10:10 AM
Jul 2012

usually these things can get a bit weird. i think this one was really really well done

kdmorris

(5,649 posts)
4. I remember those days
Tue Jul 3, 2012, 10:36 AM
Jul 2012

19 years later... the oh-so-important reasons to keep it hidden have faded from my memory. But I remember the shame...the feeling that I deserved it, somehow...the trying to find a reason for the black eyes, bruises on my arms so that no one would know...For a long time after his arrest (3 years in jail) and the eventual divorce - I wanted an apology from him. But he never gave me one and to this day says that he "barely slapped me maybe one time". He does not see my 3 daughters (has not seen them since 1996) - my daughters call my husband "Dad" and love him as their father. Two of them don't remember him at all.

I try to get through to women in this situation now. He won't change. He's not sorry. And it will happen again.

kdmorris

(5,649 posts)
8. It leaves permanent scars
Tue Jul 3, 2012, 04:49 PM
Jul 2012

mostly internal. But when you are with someone who loves you more than anything (like tkmorris!), it's easy to overcome those feelings of worthlessness.

Your partner is lucky to have you.

yardwork

(64,357 posts)
7. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I admire you for surviving for you and your children.
Tue Jul 3, 2012, 04:16 PM
Jul 2012

Tears in my eyes.

kdmorris

(5,649 posts)
9. At one point in my life, I had to let go of the rage/hatred
Tue Jul 3, 2012, 04:58 PM
Jul 2012

I remember sitting there one night, after he had gotten out of jail and started up (stalking me) again. I had been in counseling for the whole 2.5 years that he was in jail and was much stronger. I remember thinking that I couldn't live my whole life with that kind of hatred eating me up. So, my resolution was to:

1) Find a real man who loved me and who I could love back - one who would love my daughters and show them how romantic life is "supposed to" be with their mother - not one who abuses their mother.
2) Finish school and get a job.
3) Buy a house with a white picket fence.
4) And get a dog that I could love with all my heart (long story... but he wasn't nice to dogs) and "make up" for being unable to protect the other dogs.

I didn't get a white picket fence, but I got all the rest of it (and 2 dogs, so the second one makes up for the lack of a white picket fence). And after a while, all the emotion fades as you realize that you are happy and once you start concentrating on that, the fear and rage and pain all kind of get shuffled to the back of your mind. But when you are contemplating leaving, or when you have first left an abusive partner, it's terrifying and your mind is kind of scrambled up - you don't really know what to believe anymore. I remember a lot of "if I could just keep my mouth shut..." which sounds silly now, but at the time, I really believed that there was something monstrously wrong with me.

yardwork

(64,357 posts)
10. That is very powerful. Thank you for telling us about that.
Tue Jul 3, 2012, 05:24 PM
Jul 2012

I hope that other women read your post and gain strength, hope, and courage from it. I know they will.

Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»Feminists»Very powerful PSA about D...