Addiction & Recovery
Related: About this forumOne week sober.
I checked myself in to detox from alcohol. I was drinking an inordinate amount but I rarely did anything that would call attention to my addiction. I had to be helped to my car a week ago Sunday (no I wasnt driving) but when my wife called me on it, I didnt remember.
Truthfully I began drinking heavily when TFG was elected. I despaired over the fact that loved ones would vote for a man willing to take away my rights. Not to mention that I see him as an evil man. It isnt that I didnt drink regularly before that, but that was a trigger that pushed me over the edge.
I was up to approximately 18 ounces of liquor per day. I drank until I passed out and if I woke up in the middle of the night, Id pour another. If there was still liquor in my glass in the morning, Id,add it to my coffee. Really at my age, impacting my memory, my health and my relationships.
I finally said I need help. Im cautiously optimistic because I think I have a good support system. Everyone Ive told has at least acted relieved. I think they will help me back on track. Ill be starting a PHP Thursday, hopefully anyway. I have a few major things that will, no must, interrupt some of those days. My MIL is on her deathbed and I am finishing cancer treatment. Ill be starting AA as soon as I find a nearby group.
FalloutShelter
(12,749 posts)Admitting to the problem.
Kudos for your first week on a better path.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Vinnie From Indy
(10,820 posts)Finding a support group like AA will definitely help you on your journey to sobriety.
Good luck and godspeed!
3catwoman3
(25,441 posts)Knowing and accepting that you need help is a huge step in the right direction.
cate94
(2,888 posts)irisblue
(34,265 posts)Lonestarblue
(11,827 posts)I read a book several years ago that stick sticks in my brain. Its title is The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg. The author shows how our minds can undermine our goals and how to create new habits to support our goals. I need to pull it off my shelf and read it again myself!
cate94
(2,888 posts)Ill try to read it. Sounds good.
Walleye
(35,672 posts)It took me at least a month to finally recognize the magnitude of the problem. Best of luck!
Im going to do my best!
70sEraVet
(4,145 posts)You will need to find new ways of dealing with life's 'triggers', but it sounds like the old way you were using was going to wind up killing you.
Please stay with us through this process.
Im committed, and Im going to keep this group as a support.
orangecrush
(21,796 posts)I finding a nearby meeting.
Congratulations!
cate94
(2,888 posts)Ill be working on that today.
And thank you!
democrank
(11,250 posts)That takes courage.
cate94
(2,888 posts)joshdawg
(2,713 posts)it got a little easier as the days passed.
A suggestion: Alcoholics Anonymous by Bill W. might be a worthwhile read for you. It has helped millions, me included. 26 years.
Ill try and check it out.
brewens
(15,359 posts)being pulled over and getting a DUI. I was fairly careful about not driving very drunk, but I realize I was probably being riskier than I thought. It's like a new kind of freedom being able to jump in my truck and drive whenever I want.
No more hangovers. That's a huge one.
I lost weight and had a lot more money.
I got back into exercising regularly.
I did stuff like cleaning and cooking rather than lay on the couch hungover.
Everything was better. Focus on the good things and you should do fine.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Was that I was rarely hungover.
Ill be doing more exercising. Im hoping that my balance will get better. I pulled out my Wii from 8 years ago, and am working on the balance games.
And I have been walking a mile daily except when in the hospital. Id like to double that.
My wife took over the cooking when she retired, but Im going to take some of that back. And now that my hands arent shaking as bad, I might pick up painting again.
brewens
(15,359 posts)when I drank a lot.
I walk for about an hour every day. That gets most people 2 1/2 miles I'd guess.
Hey! I know how to get rid of the shakes in the morning! LOL It's funny that you say no hangover and I could feel like shit and have the inside of my mouth taste like the outside of a crocodile and my hands were steady as a rock. It's different for everyone in some ways.
Maraya1969
(22,997 posts)size you can get. And I don't remember any hangovers. Maybe because I didn't drink a whole bunch at a time but smaller amounts all day long. 2 ounces in a drink.
Javaman
(63,106 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)NoMoreRepugs
(10,521 posts)Support is important, but in the end its all on you. Believe in yourself.
cate94
(2,888 posts)I do believe in myself. I think that asking for help was the best thing Ive ever done. And I am not ashamed that I needed help. I tried to cut back on my own but that always led to a relapse.
I sat with my wife by my dying MILs side and I only thought about them. Came home and went straight to bed. I didnt want a drink when it crossed my mind.
Today Im planning to get my ducks in a row. Contact the PHP. Find an AA meeting.
Paladin
(28,764 posts)Best wishes to you.
cate94
(2,888 posts)crim son
(27,504 posts)My sister drank herself to death, very deliberately. It is an ugly way to die. Even she did not foresee having to wear diapers the last few weeks of life. You have taken the first step and it was brave of you to do so. Now, never pour yourself another drink. Allow yourself to feel the pain and forgive yourself for letting it incapacitate you at times. Life is hard.
I say this as a drinker who needs to do exactly what you have done.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Im so glad I did.
Im very sorry about your sister. Losing a sibling is so hard.
You can do it. I believe in you.
crim son
(27,504 posts)SarcasticSatyr
(1,285 posts)look into Smart Recovery.
https://meetings.smartrecovery.org/meetings/?reset_search=true
cate94
(2,888 posts)Ill check it out!
mjvpi
(1,568 posts)I did/do find the whole God thing off putting at meetings. For me, I was able to develop a relationship with a power greater than myself that is more Zen like. People ar meetings share what works for them and I had to learn to be open for suggestions even though it pushed my buttons. Its like my favorite Greatful Dead song. "Once in awhile you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." Even AA meetings. Go figure.
What ever type of meeting you go to, concentrate on what you have in common with the people there. You are unique, but not different.
Eliot Rosewater
(32,536 posts)GPV
(73,036 posts)ChazInAz
(2,778 posts)Put the plug in the jug forty-two years ago after nearly drinking myself to death. Admitted myself to Westcenter in Tucson. Smartest thing I've ever done.
Welcome to the crew!
kgray96057
(28 posts)My addiction was tobacco. The first few weeks kicking an addiction can be very rough. VERY. I had to change so many habits and give up acquaintanceships to get off of them. It's 23 years now, and if I get out of balance, every so often, I catch myself thinking about them. TWENTY THREE YEARS. I like the AA thought. HALT- Never get too Hungry too Angry too Lonely too Tired.
Conditioned myself to take a moment, whenever HALT comes into play, and redirect my feelings or resolve them. Hungry? Eat. Angry? Why? Lonely? Call a friend. Tired? Sleep.
I wish you luck.
cate94
(2,888 posts)I quit smoking in 98. Not an easy thing. It took me four tries before I decided I didnt want to put myself through that shit again.
marble falls
(62,063 posts)... the problem. Your wife obviously supports you through the problem. You even have a DU support section. You can do this.
Don't let TFG or anyone else steal your joy. Or your life.
cate94
(2,888 posts)You are so right.
CaptainTruth
(7,219 posts)We're behind you!
cate94
(2,888 posts)niyad
(119,931 posts)family is here for you.
orangecrush
(21,796 posts)CommonHumanity
(286 posts)You can do it and it is so strong of you to start. It must have been really hard to start from were you were and look at you this morning. If there was away I could could send you a plane load of support I would. All I have is my words, but know I am so behind you 100%.
It will get better. Remember in the tough times that there will be another time in the future when you will be SO grateful that you perserved through those hard times. Remember when they come to just wait them out. They will pass, a new day will dawn and you wil be here for your life and for those that love you. It uphill from here for every aspect of your life. I'm behind you!
cate94
(2,888 posts)twodogsbarking
(12,228 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)WmChris
(220 posts)I made that decision back in '82 and have a good life one day at a time. AA works if you work it. I still attend meetings at least once a week and know my life is enhanced in so doing. Good luck on your recovery. I was once told 30 meetings in 30 days if your not satisfied your misery will unfortunately be refunded
Dont want that refund!
RainCaster
(11,545 posts)You will make a new group of friends in AA that you will trust like few others. Look up several groups locally, and try each . You will find one that speaks to you.
Let us know of your progress.
I will.
dvan
(84 posts)but Ive been reading DU for about 20 yrs now. DU actually changed my life. If youve been here for a while, you know what I mean.
AA also changed my life. Clearly, my way of thinking & living was not working. Alcohol and drugs confined me. I had to find a better way. What I found was freedom. Today, Im not in constant fear and anxiety. I hope you find a meeting close to you and find some of the same joy that Ive found.
lambchopp59
(2,809 posts)I was also heading down a self destructive path. The oddity was as a healthcare worker, I caught COVID early, so forced to stop. Exacerbated asthma for me that's never been as well moving air as previous to that. I can't go anywhere without my inhaler, and had bad side effects from the preventative stuff.
From there, became so damn busy overtime at work I didn't have much time to pay attention to that clown, and got really damn mad when I learned of the pig-ignorant shit he was doing. All while having sleepless nights from withdrawal symptoms and a new MAGA idiot of a boss playing set up to fail scenarios. Excuse the tortured, mixed metaphor I don't know how to better express: perfect storm.
Hang in there, I feel for you because you're undoubtedly suffering the worst pangs. It's worth it in the long run.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Feels a little weird being home during happy hour. But hanging in there.
hay rick
(8,212 posts)Keep up the good work.
SayItLoud
(1,732 posts)In The Rooms. It's web based. Free. Anonymous. Meetings. Support. Take from it what you want/need . For newbies with 1 day to old timers with decades. People share and you can participate or just listen. It's fantastic and is a meeting(s) right from your laptop.
There is an app but the functionality if much better on your desk or laptop.
Good luck and keep coming back.
Thank you
Ampulae
(22 posts)AA didn't just save my life, it gave me a life. 31 years sober now.
Hang in there. It'll feel nuts, up and down for awhile, but it gets better.
Just don't pick up that first drink today and you'll be cool.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Tom Yossarian Joad
(19,263 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)58Sunliner
(4,981 posts)Best wishes on your cancer treatment.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Sorry about your sister.
58Sunliner
(4,981 posts)My father was an alcoholic as well. It is a pernicious disease. One day at a time, one hour, one minute if need be. Your sobriety is an act of self-care. You have such a good group here on DU. Use them as needed.
BlueIdaho
(13,582 posts)35 years and counting I found plenty of room in AA for an atheist like me but if its not for you, just keep looking. No matter how many days you have, you still have to do it one day at a time.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Truth. I hope I can follow your example, except 35 more years is highly unlikely for me.
BlueIdaho
(13,582 posts)The quality of your days is. Hang in there.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Eeebee
(1 post)Remember, looking for help is a sign of strength, not of weakness.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Dyedinthewoolliberal
(15,913 posts)Best thing that ever happened to me. I encourage you to get to an AA meeting as soon as possible. Go to one every day, or as often as you can. It works, it really does.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Dyedinthewoolliberal
(15,913 posts)there should be an AA run phone service. Also, much information is on line now. Google "AA meetings near me" and you may find something. Also be aware that if you go to a meeting and it isn't what you expected or they are not welcoming (it happens), go to a different meeting!
joanbarnes
(1,887 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)people
(697 posts)Good luck to you.
cate94
(2,888 posts)ratchiweenie
(7,923 posts)So will all the people that love you. It's hard but wow will you feel better in just a short while. Good on you!!!!
cate94
(2,888 posts)Tetrachloride
(8,448 posts)i still remember my last incident
i am able to stand either apart or among those who imbide
you can do it and we are here as well
cate94
(2,888 posts)Havent found a meeting yet. That is not as easy as it sounds, but I have to as it is a requirement of my PHP.
LoisB
(8,666 posts)(something like that). You can do it.
I think thats right
ECL213
(310 posts)My biggest problem with drinking was the "habit" of it all. It was part of everything I did, and I couldn't picture doing things without including it. Gameday...drink. Holiday...drink. Family dinner...drink. Weekend...drink. I started seeing a doctor to try to get my depression under control, and she eventually included a small dose of Naltrexone with my other meds, and poof, zero desire to drink. I just stopped and never looked back. It has been two-and-a-half years.
I still like a cold beer on a hot day, but there are a lot of great non-alcoholic options out there.
Now, I know AA would frown on everything I've just told you. Taking a drug is not accepting my disease, or working the steps, or some such horseshit. Drinking fake beer is just as bad as drinking beer because it still has trace amounts of alcohol in it. Well, fuck that. It works for me, and I haven't been drunk in years, and I'm healthier and happier for it. I don't think you have to suffer to make real change.
And, nobody needs to respond or comment, because I don't really give a shit. Opinions are like assholes...everyone has one.
cate94
(2,888 posts)I accept my disease, so Im taking a pill that helps me beat it. My niece and her husband do the N/A route, but Im not ready to try that. I appreciate your comments.
majdrfrtim
(340 posts)That is, quite literally, how I got through much of my third overseas deployment with the US Army almost ten years ago now.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, cate94!
I was 33.5 years sober when I deployed that time; I came home with 34.5 years sober.
If you've been sober a week now, cate94, you already know how to breathe and not drink. I believe you can get through anything, sober, that way, as I have.
My fourth overseas deployment was not nearly as difficult, though I (for a 4th time) deployed without a weapon; I came back with almost 37 years sober, having turned 60 years old while deployed.
Zoom meetings helped me stay sober through the pandemic. I still attend several per week by Zoom, as well as in-person meetings .
In three weeks, I should have 44 years sober.
If *I* can stay sober, you can, as well!!
(Hit me up if there's some particular way I might be able to support you.)
tim
cate94
(2,888 posts)Being able to be in this group is very helpful. I appreciate all the advice and support. It is wonderful really.
BlueTexasMan
(179 posts)Habits can be changed. Keep after it. Meditation is easy to learn and helpful. Use the follow your breath technique. You will find it gets easier as you practice it. Its useful for calming down and getting back to sleep at night. Good vibes to you in your new adventure.
cate94
(2,888 posts)For the first time in years Im not having trouble falling asleep. Even after a 2 hour inadvertent nap!
tiredtoo
(2,949 posts)You will be so happy you did so!
I will
fierywoman
(8,105 posts)Your Body After a Month Without Alcohol -- and I thought: I WANT THAT! (I also saw something similar about sugar and had the same reaction.) That was at the end of last year. The first week was white-knuckle city, the next week a little less white knuckle. Now it just feels like I'm free. You can do this.
cate94
(2,888 posts)I was afraid of detox but it really helped!
BWdem4life
(2,466 posts)Thanks
liberalla
(10,018 posts)Equally important (if not moreso) is taking ACTION to implement the plan and make the change!
Congratulations! I wish you well on your journey.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Im following up with an outpatient program
Bernardo de La Paz
(50,917 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)That I havent seen for a while. I plan on reaching out to see if they are in the area. We are f/b friends
mahina
(18,940 posts)I think shes glad she doesnt have to worry about me especially now.
Maraya1969
(22,997 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)Goddessartist
(2,067 posts)I'm always open for talking. You can do this. Much love.
cate94
(2,888 posts)I have to admit this feels a bit like an online meeting!
Goddessartist
(2,067 posts)kpete
(72,895 posts)One day at a time
❤️
barbtries
(29,792 posts)and made it through your first week. Sober living can be really, really good.
Ladythatvotesblue
(219 posts)life can be very messy. You have support of many, many you do not even know. I hope you have a long happy healthy life
cate94
(2,888 posts)Chainfire
(17,757 posts)As a recovering alcoholic who has been dry for going on 20 years, I can tell you that it gets easier as time passes. Your life is going to take a big turn for the better. Congratulations.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Thanks!
gopiscrap
(24,170 posts)I have been a "friend of Bill" for 30 years it gets easier as time goes by.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Upthevibe
(9,098 posts)Awesome.................
I'm in recovery. AA made a big difference for me......
Ill feel better when I find a meeting.
raging moderate
(4,502 posts)You don't need that stuff! You did fine without it before; you will do fine without it henceforth!
cate94
(2,888 posts)flying_wahini
(8,011 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)Timing is everything
Permanut
(6,639 posts)Seriously. I'm a long time member of AA, and gratefully sober every day, one day at a time.
AllaN01Bear
(23,047 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)Skittles
(159,374 posts)recognizing you need help and taking action
tip for you cate94 - if you feel the urge getting overwhelming, POST HERE FIRST - someone is always here on DU and we care
cate94
(2,888 posts)wendyb-NC
(3,804 posts)Keep on, keeping on. AA is a big help, you will meet some wonderful people.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Im sure I will!
soldierant
(7,903 posts)from this Al-Anon.
And I agree, if AA doesn't work for you seek something else, either instead or in addition to
My hubs got traumatic brain injuries at age 21 which, among other things, undermined his concentration. He found that voluntary Antabuse helped him to take things one day at a time, and stay with it. He also used AA. But yeah, no matter what the problem, there is never a single solution which works for everyine.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Ill find my way, however it works. I really am dedicated to being sober.
soldierant
(7,903 posts)and wish you a smooth path.
Jack-o-Lantern
(1,010 posts)It took me many years before I found the right combination of AA, meditation, medication, friends, and most of all with my wonderful wife I made it. 22 years sober now, and would rather die then return to what I once was.
Godspeed on your journey my friend.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Alpeduez21
(1,861 posts)You said this morning you were going to find a meeting. Have you done that? Did you go? When is your next meeting? How will you get there? Do you already know anyone in meetings? Contact them if you do.
You drank to fall asleep ("I drank until I passed out and if I woke up in the middle of the night, Id pour another." Don't be surprised if you don't know how to fall asleep. Don't worry no one died from lack of sleep when you're tired enough you'll drift off. In the meantime read a book (the big book is a good start), play mahjong online, watch videos of sign language, who cares just don't drink. You might have some tired days (in my case months) ahead of you. That's why there is coffee at meetings. I learned how to fall asleep now if it takes more than fifteen minutes for me to conk out I get up. It's ok I try again later and fall asleep.
You've mentioned that you're going to walk more, socialize more, whatever more. Getting sober is all about getting sober. I didn't get sober to save my job/girlfriend/spouse/family/bullshit/bullshit/bullshit. That shit doesn't work for me. When I got sick and tired of being sick and tired I got sober. You hit bottom when you stop digging.
You are moving towards a drink or you are moving away from a drink but no matter for me a drink is only so far away. When I first walked into the rooms 32 years 8 months and 29 days ago my drink was a 500lb block of cement on a heavy chain. I kept going dragging that shit. I moved away from it never towards it. As time went on that cement block wore down. One day it was 499lbs. and et cetera. Today it is a helium balloon on a one pound fishing line but it is still there. I know I've got more drunks in me but I don't know if I have another sobriety so Imma hang on to this one for as long as I can.
Did you take a drink today? If not then when tomorrow comes do what you did today. Don't drink. If you haven't found a meeting DM your zip code I'll find one. Happy hour is a waste of time go to a meeting. Go out for coffee afterwards. Be somewhat selfish with your time and get fucking sober. Go to meetings and spend time with the people who know how to be sober. If you're the tweeker in the room talk to those who are calm. Find those who know how to be sober and not relapse. Do what they do.
The goal is the goal and the goal is sobriety. Being sober lets me be a worker among workers and a friend among friends. Just remember if you think you have a problem with alcohol you probably do. People who don't have a problem don't think about it. When I was 3 years sober that was the longest I had been sober in my life. Now there are people who would never dream that Alpeduez21 was a blackout alcoholic pissing himself in an alley.
Getting sober is simple. Might not be easy but it is simple.
cate94
(2,888 posts)I also didnt find a drink. I dont want one. The half second trigger was when the 4pm light came on, and I just went about my other business. Im dedicated to sobriety.
Alpeduez21
(1,861 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)Warpy
(113,130 posts)They can be key to staying sober for one more day, especially early in recovery, especially when that next ten minutes is the problem, not the rest of the day which seems beyond you.
AA is online, if your home group doesn't meet for a while. https://aaonline.org/ will get you there. You will need a home group with a sponsor in your area, online meetings are just what you do when it's either that or take that first drink and you don't have an off switch.
Suggest AlAnon for your wife, she needs help, too, and this is a group for friends and families of alcoholics and addicts.
Don't expect your family to keep you sober, they can't, they're just not qualified. You need expert help. They're at AA.
My biggest problem right now is timing, b/c I need to be with my wife to support her. This morning Im going to go to a meeting at the PHP Im starting tomorrow.
Thats doesnt solve things in the long term because the PHP requires you to go to meetings after the program. Anyway, Im still foggy on their hours, etc. they give a lot of info at assessment but no printout or website. Ugh. Im determined enough to figure it all out.
Eliot Rosewater
(32,536 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)DoBotherMe
(2,350 posts)Sometimes, one minute at a time. I was having a meltdown early in my sobriety and called my sponsor in a panic. He said do your dishes, "I already did the dishes." "Do them again."
It does get better. 27 years sober last January.
cate94
(2,888 posts)And do something you wouldnt drink while doing, such as the dishes.
vanlassie
(5,899 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)I haven't had the wherewithal to engage in posting or replying lately because of my life situation, but kept reading posts for news, etc.
I was led to reply to yours however.
You made a brave, admirably courageous decision. Thanks be!
From my heart to yours,
💖
cate94
(2,888 posts)evolves
(5,593 posts)You can do it!
I think I can, I think I can
cally
(21,706 posts)Heres what worked for me. I found AA meetings that I liked and felt comfortable in. Not all AA meetings are the same and i found ones that seemed to help. Just remembering this is one day, sometimes one minute, at a time. If I craved alcohol, i just waited 20 minutes and it passed. I talked to fellow alcoholics because they understood.
Sixteen years later, i am still an active member of AA. i always feel better after a meeting now which was not true at all when I first went. At first, I just thought of AA as my medicine that helped treat my disease. That worked for me until i found a place in AA.
By the way, there are lots of great AA meetings online. Since covid, I now attend some online meetings but there is nothing like an in person meeting.
I want to find an in person meeting so I can get to work. worst case, Ill do a zoom.
Think. Again.
(17,987 posts)It takes an incredible amount of personal strength to do what you're doing, you're an inspiration and a leader, thank you.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Im really trying my best.
GPV
(73,036 posts)cate94
(2,888 posts)bif
(24,002 posts)If AA doesn't work for you, an alternative I've been doing is SMART Recovery.
https://www.smartrecovery.org
I'm in no way knocking recovery. But it's nice to have choices.
I'll be sober 5 years in September. Whatever works.
cate94
(2,888 posts)Im going to a PHP right now, and they require AA meetings. I appreciate the information and the link. Thanks!
irisblue
(34,265 posts)yo!
cate94
(2,888 posts)Wake, funeral, luncheon. Very tough day emotionally and a hard day to stay sober. The luncheon was very nice. Essentially open bar. Then wine poured for dinner around the table. And before dessert they served limoncello. I had club soda with a lime, followed by an Arnie Palmer. I didnt drink any alcohol.
We had people over into the evening. Most people were still drinking. I didnt drink. Honestly, there were a couple of times I would have liked a cocktail during the course of the day, but I didnt do it.
Ive missed a couple of meetings as a result of having house guests and everything else, but Ill be going to an early one tomorrow. Ill be seeing my sponsor as well. Need to get back on track with that aspect of my sobriety.
Thanks for asking.
Rhiannon12866
(222,223 posts)I was actually 2 1/2 years sober when I lost my mother. My sponsor sat with me in the hospital, though she wasn't well herself - and I told her that she didn't need to stay, but she insisted on hanging in there with me. And at one point I ran into another friend from AA while I was looking for the rest room and she stayed for quite awhile and insisted on getting me a sandwich. My relatives drink, but the two cousins I'm closest to know I'm in AA and since we had a luncheon after the funeral and many of my relatives are from other states I had an excuse to only serve coffee, lemonade and iced tea. And several of my AA friends came to the funeral. My sponsor said I didn't need to drink over this and I told her I hadn't thought of it since I had so much to do.
And going back to meetings is a good idea now since you can talk about it with those who understand. I had 14 years in April, but there are times I still talk about it since it was an accident and unexpected. And most everyone has lost a loved one - and it can be done. Good for you that you've made it through the stress sober - especially being around those who were drinking. Support helps a lot, both at meetings and this group is always here.
cate94
(2,888 posts)I have a friend of over 40 years, who I asked to sit next to me. She drinks just one old fashioned, and rarely more. I wanted her by me in case someone brought me a drink, so she would take it.
Thankfully, no one did.
I went to a meeting yesterday with my sponsor and talked about the situation. Trying not to be to proud of myself for doing what I need to do. My wife says I should be proud, especially because I beat myself up for the slightest mistake.
Rhiannon12866
(222,223 posts)I went to my second meeting in November 2008 where I met my sponsor and my sobriety date is April 30, 2009. But she stuck with me and told me what to do. That meant everything.
So having a sponsor early on is something I recommend. And I don't tell everyone that I'm in the program, but I had told the two cousins I'm close to (and were to my mother) and they understood and supported me, too. And it doesn't hurt to be proud of yourself, you had a tough time and you made it through.
I don't usually go to places where I know that there's going to be much drinking, but I find it helps to have something in my hand so nobody offers me anything. And if I'm asked if I would like something to drink, I usually say that I could really use a cup of coffee, because that's usually true! Usually nobody questions that. And having someone who has your back certainly helps, too.
Hang in there, you've made a great start! And I realize that I can do pretty much anything I want, the only thing I can't do is drink, and that's not all that much to ask. I consider myself pretty lucky.