help me out here

[mopinko]

i have a neighbor that has terminal cancer. we were friends for a very long time, but had a big fight a couple of years ago over my farm. long story.
now i am getting a lot of flack around the hood over my roosters. this person is directly across the alley from me. we recently talked, sort of, and she insists that the sound is so loud that it is driving her crazy.
folks who live closer, including me, just dont feel like it is. i can barely hear them in my house, and they are in my back yard. sympathy for this woman drives a couple of the other neighbors.

here is my question- can advanced cancer cause acute hearing sensitivity?
i have known other people who had strange things happen in their brains as the disease advanced, including stark personality changes.
could this be part of the problem?
i am not going to "use" this in my fight, i just want to know if this could be what has happened to my formerly dear friend. maybe this could help me repair some of the damage to our friendship before it is to late.
is there anything that might help, if this is the case? i have offered to foot the bill for sound deadening window treatments to at least let people who say they are affected get a better night's sleep. this got smacked down as attempting to shirk my problem, but it is sincere. i have sleep trouble myself and there are a lot of other noises here.

an advice for me?

[moonscape]

1. Although I can't answer your question about any

link between advanced cancer and hearing sensitivity, it could be that her life is so altered, without the distractions of an active life that put sounds in the background, that it's now very much in the forefront.

I have hearing sensitivity and crave quiet. My landlord years ago had some roosters and it drove me nuts, so I sympathize with her actually. I tend to have a 'my rights end where yours begin' sort of philosophy, and noise issues (dogs, roosters, etc) fall into that. But certainly it's a hot button issue.

Is there a possibility you would consider getting rid of your roosters as a gift to her until she passes? There's nothing more important than stress reduction with cancer and end of life issues. Making that gesture, might be a gift for both your spirits.

[mopinko]

2. ok actually, i got my answer today.

as it happens i am a hospice volunteer, and so i asked around today on the unit, and apparently it is common.
i was pretty much looking at it through a psychologic lens. she lost her small business early on, and i ended up with a very good divorce and a fair amount of money.

i am trying to work things out, make improvements, but i know that the woman i knew would not want to see her cancer make someone else's get rid of their pets.
i have offered neighbors to foot the bill for some sound proofing. this pissed people off, but if i did this for her it would not only help w my noise, but the many other noises that are in this environment.

i think i will start by having a talk w her partner. i think if we could patch things up, i could maybe even do some other things for her.

i just dont know. such a complicated situation.
i really count on my boys to keep my girls safe from the many hawks and coyotes around here. (coywolves actually, i am told)
she never did like them, tho, much as she loves the girls.
the biggest and loudest is going to a friends farm tomorrow. that leaves me w 3. will evaluate the situation after that.
i do have a place i can send them for a while if it comes to that.

[moonscape]

3. Sounds like you have a solid and sensitive approach -

patching things up is surely the best place to start, and hopefully the loudest being gone will make a difference.

I'm not happy though, thinking my noise sensitivity is going to progress right along with my cancer ...

[mopinko]

4. thinking about it.

i think i will send both of my "spare" roosters out to the farm, and get down to just 2. see if people can live w that. if the hens can.
that is 1 per population.

i have a couple other tricks up my sleeve.
tho they were pissed at the idea, i have enough of an eye to just scope her windows and get her some blackout liners. a gift, not a bribe.

also i have one i bought out of curiosity that i will put on her side of the coop.

[slipslidingaway]

5. Appears you are doing what you can, I know my Mom, who had cancer which metastasized to her brain

experienced significant problems coping with everyday issues that most of us would deem insignificant.

Do what you can to try and balance her needs with yours

[alfredo]

6. My wife has hypersensitive hearing since radiation.

Her tumor was not cancer, but it was in the brain.

Getting rid of the roosters is the best course of action.

[mopinko]

7. i have a lot of reasons for them.

but i can get rid of extras that cause crosstalk and competition.

[alfredo]

8. I hope it works out.

[mopinko]

9. me too.

this has not been fun.