What to do?

[sinkingfeeling]

My son fathered a child back in 2006 with a woman he hardly knew. He immediately claimed her and proved she was his via DNA. He willingly began to pay child support. In 2008, the arrangements for visitation and child support were officially put into place by the court, in the state in which all 3 live. Then he received a notice from a court in an adjoining state that he had failed to appear and they set child support payments. His attorney notified that court that this state had jurisdiction. Then he received a notice from a third state that a claim for child support was filed there. Again his attorney notified that state of the jurisdiction and valid court orders here.

Yesterday, this state's Child Support Enforcement Office, who has been receiving his child support, deducted from his pay check since 2008, sent him a letter claiming he owed $6300 in arrears. A call proved that this was from another state.

My questions, since the second state has refused to 'give up' its claims that he owes child support and that will prevent him from getting his federal student loan, IRS tax refund, etc., are do we have any legal standing to sue that state? Can we somehow get them to see that the mother of the child committed fraud when she filed claims in 2 states she did not live in? Can we sue her?

He has an attorney on retainer and he has gone to court twice to attempt to get custody of the child.

[Drale]

1. So did the mother file in those other states

or did the states take it upon themselves?

Not judging your son, but this is why I only sleep with girls I'm in a long term relationship with and who I know their crazy streaks pretty well, just in case something happens. I would do the same as your son did and claim the child instantly as well and make sure she and the mother can live as long as the mother is working and also providing. I would always provide for the child but if the mother was not trying she's done. Sorry for the mini rant.

[sinkingfeeling]

2. The mother filed in 3 states. She also has kids by other men and takes

advantage of the state's SCHIP for their health care.

[thecrow]

4. Maybe he should cite the mother's fraud

as a reason to be awarded sole custody.
Shame about her other kids, though.

[Drale]

3. This is one of the problems with the "state" system

they should be able to see if your already paying in another state for that child and if you are that should be the end of it and maybe the mother who tried to file again should be fined or something.

[1monster]

5. It can get really messed up if the mother moves around a lot AND especially if she files for

AFDC (don't know if that one exists any more) or other state aid. If she files for aid in other states, they immediately step in and try to recoup any expenditures from the non custodial parent. This can cause headaches unbelievable.

If the mother of the child sitll lives in your state, then she is committing fraud by filing in other states. If she doesn't live in your state, then perhaps (putting the kindest take on this) she simply does not understand that the original court retains jurisdiction unless both parents ask the court to withdraw in favor of another state.

My aadvice, if the mother still lives in the same state and has not moved from the state at any time, is to contact your state or district attorney and file a complaint that she has committed fraud.

In the meantime, regarding the child support problem, I suggest you get a copy of the court order regarding child support and get a print out from the child support office of all payments collected and distributed and send these with a letter of explanation to the other states.

You should also contact the court with jurisdiction asking it to intervene. They may be able to help you.

Having gone through tons of garbage with the mothers of my husband's two children through age 18, I can tell you mix ups will happen with the child support systems we have in place. I have learned NEVER to rely solely on the lawyer. Your son needs to keep really good records and a dated journal of everything that happens. Do the research yourself. Document EVERYTHING. Make friends with the people who collect the child support payments. They will go to bat for you when there is a question about whether or not you made a payment. Always consult with your lawyer before taking any action.

If your son is able to, and feels that his child is not in the best place, then get all of your ducks in a row, and make a good strong case before petitioning for custody. The custodial parent will ususally retain custody unless there are compelling reasons to change it. Does your son have regular visitation? If not, file for that first...

If your son establishes a record of responsibility and integrity with the court, it will give him an edge in every action regarding this case in the future.

Keep up posted on what happens.

On edit: finished a sentence I left dangling...

[sinkingfeeling]

6. Thanks. The mother and child have never lived outside of this state.

She filed in two adjoining states using addresses of her mother and ex-boyfriend. That boyfriend is the father of another kid of hers and has two arrests for domestic violence. They were living together in 2010 when he beat her up in front of the kids. We filed a complaint with DHS and a case worker interviewed my son's little girl about how afraid she was of the guy. It was in a report and we immediately petitioned the court for a custody hearing. Court would not admit the report into the record nor the two police reports and the DHS worker was not allowed to testify. Custody stayed with the mother.

[fe6252fes]

7. well said.