Slow Dancing with a Stranger
I just finished reading Slow Dancing with a Stranger, by Meryl Comer, about her more than 20-year struggle as a caregiver for her early onset Alzheimers husband and her mothers old age Alzheimers. Some reviews have criticized Comer because it's difficult to follow the timeline, and that's fair. It's a little disconcerting to try to have to reconstruct dates. This shortcoming also applies to the Alzheimers foundation work she becomes involved with. Others have criticized her self back patting/martyrdom. That's unfair. Comer does a great job bringing you into her world as a caregiver to a once vital, intelligent doctor/scientist. The book is as much a horror story as anything Stephen King might write.
At one point she describes one caregiver's entry into the daily care journal (she takes care of her husband half the day, and she has other caregivers for the other half - the husband lives at home for almost all of the time he has the disease), to the effect that the excellent physical care he receives has allowed his body to far outlive his mind and so to live far longer than he might have in a facility. I can understand Comer's desire to care for her husband, and she reiterates throughout the book that despite her questioning her actions, she would do what she did all over again. It just meant that much to her to care for her husband. It's ridiculously admirable, but you can't help but wonder whether less attention/care over the course of 20 years might have been more appropriate. I know that sounds awful, but she paid an awfully high price - both financially and emotionally - for what she did. On balance, while I don't know what my spouse would be, or what I would do if the shoe is on the other foot, I think I have to admire and respect Comer for what she did and for the book she wrote.
It's a compelling story and worth the time. Very thought provoking.
= new reply since forum marked as read
