these words woke me at dawn today.

[mopinko]

Last edited Tue May 5, 2020, 08:13 AM - Edit history (1)

i am retarded.
i am advanced.
i am neither and both.

the maths say this is impossible, but it is, finally, the certified truth.

ed and rosie’s 6th child died a little when a baseball bat hit her face.
she lived in a damaged state for 60 years.

the experts disagreed.
her iq is so high. her feet do not work together.
my scores were at the top.
i was laying on the ground.

i was the smart one in a smart bunch.
i was the bottom of the pile.

i was a beloved pet.
i was the target of brutality.

my brother was a hero in that moment.
he was a villain all the rest of those years.
it came as news to him that he was not always my hero.

retarded is a verb.
retarded is a noun.
i am not the noun.
i am the verb.

when i was little, i loved the library.
a lovely old carnegie library at the very center of town.
then one day the library came to me.
it was always open.
it was on my desk.
i went every day from then on.
i lived there.
you couldnt see me trip there.
you couldnt see the typos i caught first.
i was advanced, and the retardation was hidden.
i felt whole.
i hid away there.

and now words light my way.

my thoughts, my words, were popping like soap bubbles.
now they flow like niagara.

and now come the memories.
unbidden.
nudged by death.
and there it all is.

******

eta link to recent post on my new brain. https://www.democraticunderground.com/115110300

[cp]

1. Thank you.

Beautiful writing, beautiful soul.

[mopinko]

4. thank you.

[lostnfound]

2. THAT is one of the most POWERFUL things I have ever ever read.

So, so beautiful. So well done.

[mopinko]

3. it sure felt that way coming out.

thank you.

ya know, i made art for 10 years as a pro. i have a gold plated sheepskin.
i never sold shit.
i didnt need the money, and dont care much for money generally, but what i really wanted was to see my work, me heart, take up residence in someone else's life.

this writing stuff seems to work a lot better.

[lostnfound]

12. It made me think of Langston Hughes. Also, of my beautiful mother.

My mother had polio when she was young, and had a little limp when she walked.
She was so kind.

[mopinko]

13. ya know, i'm not sure i can keep posting

my stuff here if y'all are gonna make me cry.

[mopinko]

14. srsly, tho. gwendolyn brooks is a shero of mine. home town shero.

the nuns made me read poetry in high school and all that, the the first poem that ever knocked me on my ass was-

[lostnfound]

16. Thanks for sharing that.

Cool that you still remember it, and the nuns that taught it.

[mopinko]

15. and i just had to listen to that again, twice. has there ever been

a string of more perfectly polished jewels of words, ever?
one or 2, mebbe.

[3Hotdogs]

5. This connected me to the movie, "Awakenings."

It was shown on PBS last week.
Sad story.

Yours is inspiring.

[mopinko]

8. def a brick in this here wall.

a beautiful, wonderful story, but i gobbled up the science when i saw it. that and "a beautiful mind"

inspiring strikes me as the best possible compliment. thank you.

[blm]

6. Wow.

This went to my soul.

[AJT]

7. This is amazing. Your stream of consciousness is beautiful.

What a talent. Please keep posting your work here.

[mopinko]

9. ya know, another stray thought this morning-

my stream of consciousness done gone and broke out the banks.

lol. it really has. makes me a bit nervous, but i am the sort who follows compulsions, so, yeah. there will be more.

thanks.

[AJT]

10. My stream of consciousness involves things like...

Where did I put down my coffee mug?

[mopinko]

11. trust me, that's in there somewhere too.

car keys? please.

[mopinko]

17. ftr, tho

i have said so many times- if i could just find that tool that i just had in my hand, i'd be unstoppable.
i thought that was a joke, but these days i kinda can, so....