Jesus Wants You to Vote for Republicans

[MineralMan]

Really. I've heard many Christian leaders supporting Donald Trump and Republicans. Some of the most well-known Christians in the United States are big supporters of Republican platform planks. You hear from them often and they have many, many followers. They believe what they say is "God's Own Truth." They have solid Faith in what they're saying, and everyone knows that Faith is Truth. I mean, everyone says so, right?

Just thought everyone should know who Jesus backs.

[DetlefK]

1. Tell those money-changers to get out of the f**king temple.

Seriously. The Bible tells us not to mix religion and business, and they willingly corrupt their beliefs to appease a business-man.

[Mariana]

6. This is nothing new.

Very popular and influential Christian leaders have been doing like this as long as I can remember.

[Bretton Garcia]

16. "Republican Jesus" was a funny comic in alternative papers a few decades ago.

He wore a business suit. And repeated things evangelicals were saying at the time.

THose statements though are a little obscure today.

[C_U_L8R]

2. If Jesus appeared today

Republicans would deport him

[MineralMan]

3. Hmm...perhaps...

I'd think, though, that they'd be too busy hiding from him. I mean, think about it.

"Jesus Is Coming. And, Boy, Is He Pissed Off!"

[Moostache]

4. LOVE Fugelsang's take on Jesus and the GOP...

In other words....'LOCK HIM UP' would be their cry!

[packman]

7. I like that - going to use it in a letter to the editor

in our local ultra-conservative paper.

[Mariana]

9. Pretty good, except Jesus wasn't nonviolent.

John 2 : 13-15 And the Jews' passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem, And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables.

[NeoGreen]

5. Do me a favor...

...tell jesus to f-off and die.

Note to jury: see OP.

[MineralMan]

8. Sorry. Can't do that.

I never met the guy. I don't think he's around here at all.

[NeoGreen]

11. Oh well, it was worth a try. (nt)

[muriel_volestrangler]

10. Jesus want you to sell arms to Saudis, and be OK with them torturing and beheading people

according to Pat Robertson:

Even for Pat Robertson, this is appalling: “Prominent evangelical leader on Khashoggi crisis: let’s not risk ‘$100 billion worth of arms sales.’”

I mean, there were several other available ways for him to make this argument. They’d all be sleazy and immoral, but not quite this sleazy and immoral. He could have gone with the absurdly false-but-popular dodge — invoked today by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, among others — that the Saudis are an important ally in the fight against terrorism. Or he could have gone all Kissinger-esque “realist” and just conceded that MBS is “a monster, but he’s our monster.”

But no. Instead, Uncle Pat went with a straight-up, unqualified assertion about what America is, what America does, and what America is for: arms sales in the billions.
...
But Pat Robertson isn’t talking about this “$100 billion worth of arms sales” as a starkly ugly fact, as a critique of American blood-money and our shared complicity in this evil. He’s celebrating it as a Good Thing. He’s saying it’s what America ought to be doing.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2018/10/18/god-and-mammon-this-isnt-a-rule-you-have-to-obey-its-just-how-it-works/

[MineralMan]

12. Yes. And Pat Robertson has a direct line to Jesus.

He hears his voice in his head, regularly.

[qazplm135]

13. Assuming he actually existed

which I lean towards slightly being more likely than not (although certainly not a deity)...I don't see a ton that suggests to me he'd find much to appreciate in evangelical right-wing nutjobs.

I mean ignoring that a 1st Century dude is going to find just about everything about the 21st Century bonkers...once the culture shock wore off...everything I've read strikes me this is a guy that was not particularly focused on the details as much as the general principles.

Those principles being encapsulated in Do onto others and turn the other cheek which suggests to me he'd be more likely to side morally with us than them.

[guillaumeb]

14. The needs of the poster require one interpretation only.

[Permanut]

15. And not only that..

Okay, so Jesus supports Donald Trump and the Republicans. BUT.. there's also those liberals that Jesus hates, you know.

Barbara Carmack, right wing nut job Bible thumper with a daily radio show out of Denver, spoke for all of the other right wing fanatic zombie cult groupies when she informed us on today's show that all of those left wing liberal pagans who tried to derail the confirmation of Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court are "demon possessed from the pits of Hell".

[Act_of_Reparation]

17. I don't think Jesus would have wanted you to vote at all.

You should be busy getting right with God before he smites your ass. Voting is a distraction, like money, sex, and other forms of fun.