Don't know where else to post this ... feel free to scroll past.

[Myrina]

I got a job offer yesterday - 6 month contract to hire.
Flat hourly rate, no PTO, no bene's, no paid holidays until I hire on as an FTE.
Not the greatest package, but whatever.

Problem is, it's a lateral move (skills wise). More IT crap.
I am so burnt out from 15 years of dealing with weird IT people and running projects it's not even funny anymore. I basically have to drag myself out of bed every morning for the job I have, why would I voluntarily move into an endless new one doing the same thing?

I still have 6 months on this contract gig, so it's not like I'm in a position where I have to
accept the offer, and in fact was contacted by 2 other headhunters yesterday about other opportunities.

Ultimately, I declined the job offer and now am getting hell from the recruiter trying to guilt me into taking it. I thought this was an "at will" state & I could say no if I wanted to? I didn't agree to anything other than an interview, and that went ok but I was not thrilled & conveyed that to her in our debrief. Why is it my fault that she has to explain to her client that I politely declined the offer?

UGH. I just want to run away. I don't know what the hell I want to do anymore, but I do know it doesn't involve IT.

Thanks for listening.

[NJCher]

1. I think you did the right thing

I think your higher self is sensing something else that's better is coming along.


Cher

[elleng]

2. You did the right thing,

and too bad the recruiter isn't pleased: Tough Toenails. Its NOT your fault that she has to explain, but it is HER job. I wouldn't want her job either, but its HERS.

GOOD you were contacted by 2 other headhunters. There IS life after this.

[OneGrassRoot]

3. I agree with the others...

Deep down you know you made the best choice for you. Forget the recruiter.

I hope an AMAZING opportunity shows up soon, one which fills you with joy.

[Myrina]

4. Fer cripessakes they're still calling me!!

Next I expect the CEO to be sitting in my driveway when I get home tonight!!

Do they really think, after this kind of strong-arm-ing, that I'd cave in and take the gig anyway?


OMG.

(Problem is, now I am having a shitty enough day at my present gig to consider it, while at the same time wanting to run as far and as fast from IT people as I possibly can.)

[magical thyme]

5. if they call you about it again, tell them you'll consider it

when the salary is, say, double what they're currently offering and that you'll be available to start in 3 months so you can give your current gig adequate notice and a little vacation time for yourself.

That should scare them away. Worse case, they say ok, we'll take it.

If the recruiter is just another headhunter, then she is just pissed because you didn't bring her a paycheck. That is all.

With other headhunters calling you, you are a hot property. Enjoy it while it lasts and use it to up the ante.

[sandyshoes17]

6. If you don't have to take it

don't take something that doesn't feel right. I quit my job, a good job, (long story), but I thought I was strong enough to brave it. Alot of people were doing it, not of their choice. I knew there was something for me, unfortunately all I got was what you were offered. I swore if I could just get in the door, I would work on creating the rest. It's hard, very hard, I'm upside down, but for once I'm so happy about getting a paycheck, in the past I loved what I did and the paycheck was secondary. I'm working hard on getting a handle on it all, and being back in control of my destiny. Maybe I should be learning something from all of this, but I don't think so. This is my life and I have to try to take it back. If you could hold out for something better, wait. I gave in and it's taking a toll on me. But I know this is a crossroad for me, to see what I really want. I'm just too tired to veer it right now.

[Myrina]

7. I completely understand, Sandyshoes ...

Except in my case I hate what I do, but the money's never been better.
I hate IT with a passion. The company I'm at has ungodly layers of bs to wade through to get anything done, but seems to think it's an "agile shop" that can implement stuff at the turn of a dime.
Kinda like the Titanic and that iceberg ... the swerve ain't gonna happen. So I sit here dealing with all these jackasses who needlessly complicate things but don't know how to make their directives happen because the people with legacy and process knowledge were fired 2 years ago.

I just want to run away. Been thinking about going to bartending school so I can work weekends and stash cash then when my 6 more-months at this gig is up, just leaving Indy. I'd love to go to a small town up in the Northeast - near the woods, or the coast - & work at a hotel/run a B & B (don't have the capital to buy one, though) ... just get away from the techie-corporate bs and find my soul again but I feel like I'm too tired, too.

You know, I feel like I got to a point and realized that I just don't like my life, but, knowing who I am, also came to the sad realization that it's most likely not going to change. Depressing.

I hope - and I know - things will get better for you.

[Myrina]

8. So, I think I may have had an epiphany ....

.... I think I may enroll at the local tech college's Paralegal program.

I was supposed to go to law school. Took a bunch of pre-law courses as an undergrad.
Wanted to be the next Gloria Allred but got waitlisted at the schools I applied to and had a child coming out of kindergarten that needed a 'stable mom' .... which is how I ended up in IT.

Now that kiddo is a senior in college, and it's time for me to get back to doing what interests me, what I do well, and a paralegal can certainly work for nonprof's/public defenders and other community based groups - at this point in my life I just need to pay the mortgage, not feed/clothe/educate a child as well.

Tuition at the local is affordable - my big problem is that I never seem to finish what I start.

Thoughts?

[Why Syzygy]

9. Leos need people..

Since I've known you for a very long time, I'm just going to say this. I think you should go to bartender school and then pursue the legal studies. Bartending will get you out with people. It will get you away from IT. I think it would put you in a much better frame of mind to pursue whatever you choose to put your mind to. Bartenders can work anywhere. And a bad economy doesn't stop too many folks from drinking. You would probably excel at anything you commit to. You need some room to breathe and get out from under the thing that is making you miserable. .02

[Myrina]

10. WhySyzygy

Thank you. I needed that perspective.
For some reason, the people I see the most & who consider themselves 'friends' in my locale don't ever tell me what I need to hear, they tell me what they think I want to hear.

[Why Syzygy]

11. sure!

I've never been any good at kissing arse. I'm just damn glad you came back!

Go get 'em, gurl!

[magical thyme]

14. that sounds like a great idea, WS!

a complete break from IT, decent money and breathing room! I'd say that's worth quite a bit more than .02

[southerncrone]

12. She's pissed cuz she's gonna have to find someone else to collect her commission.

Plain & simple, most recruiters only care about putting pegs (employees) in vacant holes (jobs) to earn a fast commission. Little do they care if the two are a good match. I despise the job placement industry because they have facilitated lower wages w/no bennies & many mismatched employees/employers who end up unhappy, not to mention poor work ethics & environments. I wish employers would take back the responsibility of hiring their own employees. In the long run their productivity would increase, as well as wages.

Don't let her guilt you, she is just looking out for herself, not you.

[woodsprite]

13. Sorry you're having to deal with that from the recruiter

He's probably being that way because of commission or
placement quota. I feel for you re: being burnt out doing
IT stuff. I'm coming up on 28 yrs, and can't wait to move
on to something else. Should have left it a long time ago
and now I'm stuck -- at least for another two years. But
Then I'll need to figure out something else to do because
I'll still be too young to really retire.

[Myrina]

15. ... and thats where so much of my frustration

Comes from ... you literally get so deep in an industry you don't know how to DO anything else ... and if its an industry you sorta fell into out of necessity, like in my case, you wake up one morning & realize you're almost 50 & never got to do what you really wanted to do in life & now's too late to start over at the bottom.

[Myrina]

16. Ok .... had a phone interview with another Co. this AM ...

... this is a permanent hire, with a career path to my PMP Certification (meh), for a small-ish web/marketing firm. I think it went well, but don't know if I have the pudding to pull it off in the dreaded in-person panel interview. We'll see if I even get that call.

If I do get the call and an offer, though, I'm taking it. Even though I hate IT, it's my only lunch ticket at this point.