Bereavement
Related: About this forumMade my friend day yesterday she was happy.
A bad punctuation dyslexic ramble ahead.
A friend from grief group and i attended a wedding of a couple we both know and i let her drive the 2013 Mustang Shelby. To explain when i first met my friend in grief group i thought she was my age perhaps mid fifties reason in her visage and her activity level is of much younger woman.
And over these last eleven months she has been great friend she has widowed for eleven years and she is truly a good friend and a fine person who has helped me in over losing Elizabeth.
One day i ran into her and her daughter at the gym with my boys 18 & 19. I assumed her daughter then was her sister i introduced my fellas and she said this is my oldest daughter who is fifty turns out she is seventy years in age.
So I made her day yesterday in that over these last months we both have shared a lot with each other stories thoughts memories of our spouses. And she had told me that when her husband came home from Vietnam. The first car they bought was a Mustang Mach 1 i mentioned I have had two mustangs over the years and she said oh Id love to drive it.
So yesterday I picked her up in route to the wedding and told the five foot hobbit youre driving the Shelby. She was surprised and she drove one and half hours each way to and from. And i sat and listened to her repeat the same memories of her husband when they were young and first married and it made me feel great inside to see her so energetic and happy.
And yesterday is I realized the first time in these last eleven months that i have actually socialized with others besides family and work since losing Liz God I miss her no drama just facts and reality. She is in another realm yet I still love her so much.
Tetrachloride
(8,478 posts)ggma
(711 posts)Because you share so much with us, Dunc.
gg
LoisB
(8,875 posts)magicarpet
(16,766 posts)Bless your positive attitude - it rubs off nicely in your writings.
2naSalit
(93,115 posts)It never really leaves you.
Today is the birthday of the love of my life, we were lovers but life happened and tore us apart in ways we couldn't imagine until it happened suddenly and decisively. I lost him completely about ten years ago. What we shared will always be part of my DNA... I imagine it is that way for anyone who has lost a love of long standing or even short. Love is love and that is what is most important in the end.
You and your new friend share a kind of love that connects you by having loved someone who has passed on yet you share both the love you had with someone in your lives as you share the memories of that love with each other because you care about how that love stays with you and wish to hold it dear while you try to carry on without the one with whom you shared the greatest love.
Glad it was a happy day for both of you! That's always a plus. (I'd love to drive that Shelby too!)
niyad
(120,410 posts)and heart and kindness shine through in every word. How truly blessed we are to have you in our DU family, and to have you include us in yours.
Richluu
(99 posts)I lost my husband 9 months ago. The grieving has changed, is a lighter version of missing him, but still there. A friend misses his wife after 14 years. I make sure I go out. Last night was fun at contra dancing because there is no "date" and the dancing keeps changing your partners. That keeps it light and fun.
Blessings on you as you journey through this loss. ❤🙏
Fla Dem
(25,790 posts)littlemissmartypants
(25,717 posts)TygrBright
(20,987 posts)It's always good to be reminded that us monkeypeeps can rise to the heights as well as dig in the sewer.
Your post was like a little scripture in my head: "Pay attention, human - this is how it sposed to be."
So this was Sunday church I guess.
Pretty good.
appreciatively,
Bright
Wild blueberry
(7,230 posts)Thank you for sharing your story.
barbtries
(29,915 posts)I'm glad you have a friend duncanpup! I found after Bekah died that the people I met in grief counseling for a time were actually the only people I knew who understood me. Still friends after all these years.
also, glad you're getting out into the world and enjoying it. I don't know if you agree, but in my mind, Liz is perched on your shoulder living through you too. She still loves you too. Love is all that death cannot kill.
Jamie Anderson said, Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.
brer cat
(26,405 posts)You will always love your Elizabeth, and I hope your memories bring you comfort.
Chicagogrl1
(475 posts)Glad that you had enjoyment. We all need it. Hugs.
thatcrowwoman
(1,230 posts)Your love with Liz endures, remains, and touches so many readers here.
Can you see that love growing because of your kind, generous heart?
Your quirky sense of humor?
Your tales of your kids, and tailsof your dogs both here and gone?
Thank you for this lovely lift this morning.
🕊thatcrowwoman & Ms. Molly~Good~Golly
iluvtennis
(20,917 posts)Wah_Guy
(37 posts)MOMFUDSKI
(7,080 posts)Hangin' with a Hobbit has done you good. Thanks for sharing your life and thoughts with all at DU who really care about you. Looking forward to more Dunc stuff for sure.
onecaliberal
(36,209 posts)You are such an incredible human. Its no wonder Liz loved you. Thanks for sharing.
IrishAfricanAmerican
(4,182 posts)CaptainTruth
(7,260 posts)It sounds like you made her day!
kanda
(186 posts)Just goes to show that making others happy can fill our hearts with joy.
IA8IT
(5,913 posts)close to 8 years alone miss her every day.
rubbersole
(8,641 posts)Let's hang out. I'll wash and wax it.
gademocrat7
(11,195 posts)You are a kind man.