Bereavement
Related: About this forumLost my only Brother on 21 November, 2023
Last edited Wed Nov 22, 2023, 09:24 AM - Edit history (2)
After suffering a massive heart attack, loss of blood to the brain on Sunday night, my 50 year old brother(the only boy after 3 sisters) died in a Sacramento, California hospital. My only remaining sister was with him as he took his last breaths. His name was John Anthony Horvat.
Prior to that, I was involved in a conference call with the Doctor, my sister, and my daughter that the only option was to gently let him go because the prognosis of ever recovering was not going to happen. But the story of a troubled man began in 2000 when our father died. It was not a good death and it hit him hard, as he was to take care of our mother. In 2013, our mother died in a Reno, Hospital. Again, not a good death. Once again, a hard hit reality and a journey to the depths of mental and physical damage that would take its toll through alcoholism and addiction to pain killers. (Another long story).
Now my Brother, John, is in a place where there is no more pain and worry. He is joined with our parents and sister, Deborah. My relationship with him was strained for the past 2 years when I last spoke to him, letting him know that I unable to loan him a large amount of money. All throughout those 2 years, I prayed for him, for good health mentally and physically.
I will miss my Brother. In February, I plan to go out to California for a celebration of his life with my Sister, my daughter, Family, and friends when it would be his Birthday. Perhaps take his ashes to the Reno-Sparks area to spread in the canyons near the place he lived with my late mother where the wild Mustangs would graze down by the Truckee River at that time of the year. He loved the horses.
Goodbye, John. I will see him again and we will have much to catch up on.
livetohike
(23,020 posts)of your brother . May your good memories and the stories youll tell help ease the sadness. Rest in peace John .
Easterncedar
(3,616 posts)onecaliberal
(36,208 posts)2naSalit
(93,115 posts)marked50
(1,446 posts)tavernier
(13,273 posts)I know you have thousands of lovely memories.
Treasure them.
So sorry for your loss.
Scrivener7
(53,038 posts)PJMcK
(22,969 posts)He had a decades-long problem with alcohol and it eventually destroyed his organs. He was only 58. I miss him every day.
Im sorry for your loss. Their passings leave holes in our lives.
Have a peaceful Thanksgiving.
ProudMNDemocrat
(19,129 posts)When I saw my brother for the 1st time, it was at the time of my Grandmother's death in February of 1974 in Cleveland. John was 1 year old. When I looked at his tiny face, I saw mine. He looked so much like me at that age. My 46 year old son looks a lot like him on the Horvat side in build, etc. But my son is far healthier.
Cherish your memories as well. It is always a bummer when death occurs around Holidays. My last remaining Grandparent died on Thanksgiving Day Nov.28, 1991, 40 minutes before the Macy's Parade was to start. He did not get to see my daughter, who partook in the Parade that year.
Tanuki
(15,373 posts)John went through. Your plans to honor his memory sound lovely. Hold fast to your best memories of him
Philippians 4:8 King James Version (KJV) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
murielm99
(31,478 posts)ms liberty
(9,857 posts)I lost my only sibling, my sister, last Tuesday in a car accident. She was 72, not in great health, and we had spoken only a few times in the last couple of years. We had a difficult relationship; she was 8 years older and had a controlling personality. I always said we got along wonderfully when we rarely saw each other. There's other family drama involved, and for my own sanity and peace I'm staying away from it, but I'm feeling quite a bit of angst and grief right now over my sister's death and the current family situation.
AllyCat
(17,165 posts)ms liberty
(9,857 posts)ProudMNDemocrat
(19,129 posts)May your sister be at peace that despite the circumstances, you loved her.
I left a Good bye John voice message on my sister's phone so she could play it back to my Brother before he died. Jesus will also let him know what I said. Our memories of the good times give us strength.
ms liberty
(9,857 posts)TygrBright
(20,987 posts)LoisB
(8,875 posts)Please take care of yourself. Sending a virtual hug to you.
AllyCat
(17,165 posts)RestoreAmerica2020
(3,458 posts)Goddessartist
(2,067 posts)He found peace. Sending you all of my love.
cilla4progress
(25,968 posts)sheshe2
(87,879 posts)Deep State Witch
(11,316 posts)May he go forth shining!
I am sorry for your loss. 50 is much too early.
Lilaclady
(77 posts)So sorry to hear of your loss.
OAITW r.2.0
(28,521 posts)Very best wishes....tough time for you, I am sure.
BoomaofBandM
(1,922 posts)My sister passed away in may. I have a brother who is struggling with alcoholism and having health problems because of it. I love my family, but it gets complicated. Take care of yourself, I hope you and your family find some peace.
ProudMNDemocrat
(19,129 posts)Death happens every day. Harder when it occurs around Holidays.
My last remaining Grandfather died 40 minutes before the Macy's Parade was to start, Thanksgiving Day 1991. That was Nov.28th. My daughter was partaking in the Parade as part of a Cheerleader contingent of NCA All Stars from all over the country at the High School level.
IbogaProject
(3,712 posts)It's always hard and more so when you weren't on the best terms. Please take care.
AmBlue
(3,444 posts)It is so hard to lose a brother