8 Things Guns Compensate For (Besides Your Penis)

[billh58]

There seems to be some gnashing of teeth among the right-wing gun lobby enabling/apologist crowd about the crude use of penis references for gun nuts. Here is a different perspective on the matter:

It’s hard out here for a P.I.M.P.H. (person inclined to be macho and pack heat). You love your gun more than you love Christmas, and your nontraditional love is protected by the Second Amendment, yet it seems like everyone hates guns and hates you for owning them — that and it feels like every other day Obama is launching elaborate, highly coordinated, perfectly acted false-flag mass shootings to trick the public into thinking we have a gun problem (this from the same government that misspells both your first and last name on your tax return, Bolb Johnqson).

Let’s face it: Guns are used for a lot of valid reasons: hunting, protecting the homestead, protecting yourself, party tricks at your Uncle Carl’s house, backing you up in case you run into trouble in that strip-mall Chipotle full of middle-school cheerleaders.

I think it’s also fair to acknowledge that guns have a huge symbolic significance for many owners. They’re not only a weapon; they’re a lifestyle choice, a tool to help compensate for things we may be personally lacking.

The joke is that the bigger the gun, the tinier the penis, and while that may be absolutely, 100-percent true in every single case, there are other things guns compensate for. Here are eight of them (see the article for explanations):

8. Your lack of claws, sharp teeth, and the ability to run faster than your prey.

7. The fact that Rhonda took everything.

6. The fact that no one thinks you are special.

5. The fact that you can’t do a pull-up.

4. Your laziness.

3. Your demeaning job at a big-box store.

2. The fact that you played a cumulative 47 seconds in four years of high-school football.

1. The fact that you can’t find the can opener.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-second-city-network/8-things-guns-compensate-for-besides-your-penis_b_5525657.html

And then there is this from Truthout:

Call this Freudian psychobabble analysis, but when you add it into the mix of just angry white males who want their guns to show that they are still top dog on the political, social and marital hierarchy, you got a good percentage of the psychologically need gun owners. A gun, particularly assault weapons and lethal militarized handguns, are at least two things: a prosthetic dick and a sign that even unemployed white guys still rule the Western World and sit at the head of the kitchen table.

We're talking about a dying patriarchy making a last stand with the ownership and brandishing of weapons that provide the semblance of ultimate power over life and death.

http://truth-out.org/buzzflash/commentary/many-american-white-men-worship-guns-because-of-sexual-insecurity-entitlement-and-profit/17892-many-american-white-men-worship-guns-because-of-sexual-insecurity-entitlement-and-profit

Actually, most of this analysis describes Republican white males, particularly Trump and those who idolize him, to a tee.

[Hoyt]

1. There might be a few exceptions, but that pretty much covers every gunner I've known.

Losers can be somebody with a gun in their pants.

[billh58]

2. Number 6 - The fact that no one thinks you are special.

Man, these days it seems like everyone except straight white men is being celebrated: gays, racial minorities, trans individuals. Has everyone forgotten how bad-ass straight white men are? Does the name Rowdy Roddy Piper mean nothing anymore?

Maybe your gun will remind them how powerful you are. Yeah, you were in the driver’s seat for several millennia, at the expense of everyone else. And yeah, racial minorities have had a few decades of perceived equality, and gays a few years, and trans folk about 11 days. But they’ve had enough fun. It’s your turn again, damnit!

Pretty much says it all...

[resistance2016]

3. A man with a gun who drives a big truck

Has a tiny penis, not good for a fuck.