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Ilsa

(62,239 posts)
Fri Aug 2, 2013, 03:08 PM Aug 2013

I cannot pretend that I don't want

the worst things to happen to the man that raped me. Or to the other men that rape women, children, and other men.

If I was to agree with a poster that "rapists in prison don't deserve to be raped", it would be a lie. I'm tired of denying my feelings in order to "be evolved" on DU.

My life wasn't evolved after what he did to me. My job and my career were affected. My dating life was affected. My trust in others was destroyed for awhile. My relationship with my family changed because I had to hide it from them. The trauma and pain cannot be calculated and thoroughly explained.

Generally, I try to say nothing. I've had one post removed because I stated my feelings. I'll probably get another one removed soon. But yes, I hope for the worst for rapists.

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I cannot pretend that I don't want (Original Post) Ilsa Aug 2013 OP
I hope you heal well. ZombieHorde Aug 2013 #1
You can't hold it in olddots Aug 2013 #2
Thank you. I get so pissed Ilsa Aug 2013 #3
I hear you condoleeza Aug 2013 #4
There is no need to pretend that everything is alright. In_The_Wind Aug 2013 #5
Thank you all for understanding. nt Ilsa Aug 2013 #6
My rapist came to the store I worked at..and ordered several hundred dollars worth angstlessk Jan 2014 #7
It's understandable to be angry. FedUpWithIt All Jan 2014 #8
 

olddots

(10,237 posts)
2. You can't hold it in
Fri Aug 2, 2013, 04:00 PM
Aug 2013

your feelings are justifiable ,you will piss people off and scare them but in the long run you will help them by being brave enough to stop being a silent victim .We are here for you and you can lean on us .

Ilsa

(62,239 posts)
3. Thank you. I get so pissed
Fri Aug 2, 2013, 04:24 PM
Aug 2013

at people on DU trying to tell me that my feelings are "wrong". They've been there for 20+ years.

I can't help but think that if a rapist refuses to learn that his behavior is criminal, then maybe he needs to experience that behavior as the victim. There are far more deserving people, even in prison, that deserve sympathy.

condoleeza

(814 posts)
4. I hear you
Fri Aug 2, 2013, 08:36 PM
Aug 2013

It takes a LONG time and a lot of life to pass before you can get rid of the anger and it's just a process that I hope you cycle through before it eats up too much of your life.

I didn't see the post that was removed, I hope they won't remove this one.

No sympathy for rapists here. They may have extenuating life experiences that made them who they are now, but I did too and I never abused anyone.

In_The_Wind

(72,300 posts)
5. There is no need to pretend that everything is alright.
Sun Aug 4, 2013, 08:16 AM
Aug 2013

You are a survivor of trauma that none of us should ever feel.

My first hidden post was for suggesting some of the thoughts you've expressed.
We cannot help feeling anger.

Perhaps knowing that you are not alone here at DU may help. You can always reach out to any one of us who post here in this group.

angstlessk

(11,862 posts)
7. My rapist came to the store I worked at..and ordered several hundred dollars worth
Wed Jan 8, 2014, 09:49 PM
Jan 2014

of clothes...I told my boss..this was the man who raped me...I do not want to service him..but boss..could care less...I am the only 'clerk'

So I process the purchase...about $200.00+- of clothes...

Kid of said rapist comes back with clothes and wants a full refund...(of course I think it is because he recognizes me as his rape victim who put him in prison)...

Years later after I get over my EGO...I realize...those people do that for a living...they purchase hundreds of dollars worth of clothes..then return SOME of it...and get a full refund.

FedUpWithIt All

(4,442 posts)
8. It's understandable to be angry.
Thu Jan 9, 2014, 12:47 AM
Jan 2014

I don't know how to really process anger myself.

I know i have a very deep well of it that terrifies me so i try to avoid it. My body avoids it for me if i can't help myself. It isn't healthy to hold onto anger.



I've put this on my desktop to remind myself that it's important to express myself, even if it is anger that i'm expressing.

Be gentle with yourself.

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