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one_voice

(20,043 posts)
Tue Feb 25, 2014, 12:05 PM Feb 2014

Gabrielle Union on Her Sexual Assault: 'I Hated Feeling Like a Victim'

Gabrielle Union appeared on The View yesterday and spoke about the process of healing after being raped at gunpoint when she was 19. For her, the path to recovery came through vehemently rejecting the label of "victim" and embracing her status as a survivor.

"Being a victim is so comfortable," she said. "When something catastrophic happens in your life, everyone rallies around you. You're getting all of the attention and love and support that you've always wanted, but it's not for something positive. And I hated that. I hated feeling like a victim." She went on, "I was like, 'I want to embrace being a survivor, because that's who I am.' I wasn't raised to be coddled. I was raised to be an independent woman, standing on my own two feet."

Union worked at Payless at the time of her assault; she was raped by a former employee of another Payless, who had robbed the store and raped another employee. She told The View that her power returned when she sued the chain for negligence and went on to urge parents to look into the criminal history of businesses before allowing their children to work there.

Her strength and courage in speaking out is very, very awe-inspiring.


http://jezebel.com/gabrielle-union-on-her-sexual-assault-i-hated-feeling-1530443958?rev=1393337963&utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow


Video at link.
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Gabrielle Union on Her Sexual Assault: 'I Hated Feeling Like a Victim' (Original Post) one_voice Feb 2014 OP
I'm glad she found her voice and fought back legally. In_The_Wind Feb 2014 #1
I agree. I worked for a very big... one_voice Feb 2014 #2
Indeed, thank the heavens for the guy who saved you. In_The_Wind Feb 2014 #3
I have always liked her. Behind the Aegis Feb 2014 #4
I can relate so much to this: LadyHawkAZ Feb 2014 #5

one_voice

(20,043 posts)
2. I agree. I worked for a very big...
Tue Feb 25, 2014, 12:25 PM
Feb 2014

grocery store chain when I was a teenager.

I was assaulted in back of the store--while getting carts. It was part of my job to gather the carts. There was one other girl that worked there and we both complained about having to go back there--there was a very bad neighborhood right behind.

One day when I was back there a group of guys grabbed me tore my shirt bashed my face, thank God a guy who worked there drove in that way and was able to stop it before it went any further.

I ended up going and working at another store, I couldn't step foot in there again.

I never thought to take legal action. This was 30 years ago, so who knows if I could have done anything.

In_The_Wind

(72,300 posts)
3. Indeed, thank the heavens for the guy who saved you.
Tue Feb 25, 2014, 12:47 PM
Feb 2014

Last edited Tue Feb 25, 2014, 04:05 PM - Edit history (1)

I'm sorry to say this but ... it's my belief that the store wouldn't have been found at fault in what happened to you.

I'm glad you were able to transfer out of the neighborhood to some place safe.




Things were so different 50 years ago. When I was sexually abused as a child I was made to feel ashamed, as if an innocent nine year old girl ask for an awaking of her sexuality from a twenty six year old cousin. My family always made me feel like I was the bad person.

Behind the Aegis

(54,854 posts)
4. I have always liked her.
Tue Feb 25, 2014, 03:01 PM
Feb 2014

It is interesting to hear speak of the difference between victim and survivor. People have many ways of being a victim, though. Some never come forward and live in a shadow of shame and doubt; they don't even have the love and support that others get. It isn't easy becoming a survivor.

LadyHawkAZ

(6,199 posts)
5. I can relate so much to this:
Tue Feb 25, 2014, 07:02 PM
Feb 2014
"You're getting all of the attention and love and support that you've always wanted, but it's not for something positive. And I hated that. I hated feeling like a victim."


I can remember feeling like I had to be properly "damaged" to be worth supporting. Almost like people were celebrating the idea of me being raped, or at least that was what it felt like. It wasn't a good feeling.
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