I ate a rogue pot gummy last night. [View all]

[LuckyCharms]

I think there might have been a quality control issue at the manufacturer of my pot gummies.

I usually only eat 5mg gummies, and they help me fall asleep before I get high.

I sleep in a recliner that is a few feet from my desk in my office, because laying flat wreaks havoc on my back.

I ate this little 5mg pot gummy last night, and I was getting ready to go to sleep, when I realized how baked I was. This thing was WAY more than 5mg.

I was frozen to the chair at my desk.

I gotta get to the recliner. Oh shit, this is bad. Gotta get to the recliner.

Couldn't move. Paranoid and scared.

I'm going to DIE if I don't get to the recliner.

It's alright, it's just the weed. You're OK.

Then an Asian ladybug flew by my right eye in my peripheral vision.

OH FUCK WAS THAT A BAT?

No, it's just a lady bug, whew.

I made it to the recliner.

Don't recline! Sit up straight and you'll be OK. If you recline, YOU'LL FUCKING DIE. YOU'LL DIE IN THIS RECLINER. SIT UP STRAIGHT, DON'T RECLINE WHATEVER YOU DO!!! FUCK MAN, YOU'RE 66 YEARS OLD AND YOU COULD DIE AT ANY MINUTE IF YOU RECLINE!!! SIT UP STRAIGHT!!! HAPPENS ALL OF THE TIME AT THIS AGE, PEOPLE JUST FUCKING DIE!!! I SEE IT ALL OF THE TIME!!! DON'T RECLINE!

So I fell asleep sitting straight up. Woke up about 5AM with my chin in my chest, shivering, because I had no blanket. I looked down, and there was a drool stain on my shirt the size of a serving platter.

I said to myself "oh, that's fucking attractive".

Then I finally reclined and went back to sleep for a few minutes.

The End