So, why are all of the women I meet out of my league? And usually unavailable.

[bettyellen]

20. please don't be that guy who stares *keeps noticing* particular girls in the gym

it makes us really uncomfortable. you need to either acknowledge our humanity and say hi *expectation free* or move on. fixating on looks is an admission you are totally shallow and the only people who are cool with that are likely to be very shallow themselves. yes, they're out there, but is that what you want? i've dated a few guys who followed me around and asked me out immediately- without taking a minute to get to know me. they have an idea in their head that you are it for them, and it's based on nothing real. It's delusional.

this girl is with someone else, you're ignoring so many more likely partners by fixating on an image you have of someone you don't know at all. women will notice this, there's a few guys who do this at every gym, and they're never nearly as stealthy as they think they are. if your glances keep going back to the same person, if you're trying to align your schedule with hers so you can peep more, you're doing it wrong. and we're talking about how uncomfortable you made us in the locker room. instead try exchanging a few words with her so she becomes a human being, and stops being an image in your head, on a pedestal.

try thinking of us as and treating us as whole human beings, (not as you imagine us to be) and engage women whether or not you want to date them in a stress free way. do not only focus on women who are generically "hot" unless you want to compete with a dozen other shallow dudes and get a rep as a creeper. I bet once you look around and meet people, you will suddenly find there are lots of great gals out there - funny smart sexy people - that you weren't able to peg as such at first glance. And some of these people will find out you are smart funny sexy too. but don't stress the situation by being goal oriented with your interactions with women. and forget that crap about carrying around the financial times unless you actually want a gold digger instead of someone you value spending time with. We know that ploy too. You really don't want to trick someone into being with you, do you?

Good luck.