Create your own talking water.

[jberryhill]

4. I'll bet you are

And, just hypothesizing here, if you get anyone who reports success, you should really sell them the $500 deluxe countermeasures package.

Unless that is sort of what you are aiming at already. If it is, then I can certainly appreciate the plan. If not, then I'm reporting this post to the Chinese geek satellite operators to give you a double dose.