Parenting

Rorey

(8,513 posts)

40. "never stop doing the things YOU like to do" - great advice

Mon May 7, 2018, 10:06 AM

May 2018

My mom's theory about raising kids was that from the minute they're born you work on getting them ready to be on their own. Yes, it does hurt when they start showing more and more independence, but that independence is a good thing.

I made a whole lot of mistakes as a parent. Sometimes I wasn't tough enough. Other times I was too tough. I did what I thought was best at the time, and that's all I could do. Now they're adults. Sometimes they do things right and sometimes they don't, but the responsibility for their actions is now theirs. Of course I still worry about them, and lay awake nights sometimes worrying about this one or that one. But the ultimate solutions to THEIR problems are up to them.

As far as judgement from others, I agree completely. I have no time for other people's judgement.

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I did not mind all the sacrifices but stealing my joy as a mother is beyond cruel [View all] lostnfound May 2018 OP

Do not delete this. Mike Rows His Boat May 2018 #1

I know it is good to talk about but lostnfound May 2018 #36

Have you considered showing this to your daughter? dhol82 May 2018 #2

A boy, would see it as chink in the armor lostnfound May 2018 #7

Teenagers. They get over it. They change. Sophia4 May 2018 #3

please don't delete dweller May 2018 #4

It can be a single dad's lament, too. I brough them up to be brave and independent. And now they.... marble falls May 2018 #34

Whether or not they need you, it's okay for you to "need" them.. lostnfound May 2018 #50

We live all over the country Texas, Missouri, Florida, Ohio. My son (their half bro)... marble falls May 2018 #53

This "all over the country" stuff is part of the problem lostnfound May 2018 #54

And my dad had moved out to LA before I left for AZ. ... marble falls May 2018 #55

Send it to your kid. The worst thing would be for communication to stop. applegrove May 2018 #5

You're a good writer. I can feel your anguish. Bluepinky May 2018 #6

Thanks. The one thing I want to do I cannot do lostnfound May 2018 #35

So sorry. A house on a lake sounds lovely. Bluepinky May 2018 #41

Take a deep breath. And another. missingthebigdog May 2018 #8

I remember all of those lovely things lostnfound May 2018 #32

I read a book once about parenting a student this age. It said that in the senior year pnwmom May 2018 #9

Thank you for being a great mom grantcart May 2018 #10

Thank you lostnfound May 2018 #29

Jesus. The sitting in the car part got me. :_( C Moon May 2018 #11

just say goodbye, wish him well with a hearty aloha and change the locks n t msongs May 2018 #12

nawww. it's a phase. The breaking away from the parent. Demovictory9 May 2018 #17

This just brought me to tears... Pachamama May 2018 #13

We went through angry teenage years, too. Granny M May 2018 #14

Parental camaraderie was terrific when younger but we moved in middle school lostnfound May 2018 #28

Moms understand Olafjoy May 2018 #15

The science fair lostnfound May 2018 #27

A wise woman once said "Parenting is full of little hurts". Demovictory9 May 2018 #16

Little hurts are okay.. edge of a breakdown with no support here is another lostnfound May 2018 #26

Dear lostandfound madaboutharry May 2018 #18

Thanks... lostnfound May 2018 #25

You have no idea how universal this is Freddie May 2018 #19

not an adult lostnfound May 2018 #24

True Freddie May 2018 #42

"never stop doing the things YOU like to do" - great advice Rorey May 2018 #40

Like you MFM008 May 2018 #20

Your moms plants?? lostnfound May 2018 #23

Yes her MFM008 May 2018 #48

I understand. MichMary May 2018 #21

Ready for independence. lostnfound May 2018 #22

You are not alone! Lulu KC May 2018 #30

My dear, I hear your pain WhiteTara May 2018 #31

So many of us moms are reading this and we understand perfectly. Great description of dealing with a OregonBlue May 2018 #33

That sums it up. "Even the sound of our voices" Nt lostnfound May 2018 #45

I wish I had no clue what you are feeling. redwitch May 2018 #37

How old is he? lostnfound May 2018 #46

31 redwitch May 2018 #47

Well, I'm truly sorry and RandomAccess May 2018 #38

I don't get it Freddie May 2018 #43

Please don't delete this. MontanaMama May 2018 #39

This message was self-deleted by its author MuseRider May 2018 #44

Yes a trendy thing now..and a lack of forgiveness, de-emphasizing respect lostnfound May 2018 #49

Hang in there. Life will grind down his sharp edges. raging moderate May 2018 #51

Thirties? Uggh. So if I make it to my seventies I will have some recovery. lostnfound May 2018 #52

They make you dislike them iamateacher May 2018 #56

This message was self-deleted by its author Duppers May 2018 #57

Do not delete, please. PoindexterOglethorpe May 2018 #58

This is such a sweet response, among many other kind replies. lostnfound May 2018 #59

Here's something else. PoindexterOglethorpe May 2018 #60

Wondering where you're at now: Tink41 Jan 2020 #61

I have a feeling you wanted to reply to lostnfound, PoindexterOglethorpe Jan 2020 #62