My 94-year-old parents had things to tell me this week.

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52. Definitely interact with the caregivers

I totally agree with your comment about dealing with care-giving staff. My mom is in an assisted living facility in NoCal, and due to the care she requires it's very expensive. We are lucky the funds from sale of her home a few years ago allow her to have this good care. My brother and sil live about 10 mins from her facility, so they are there to see her every few days just to keep tabs. I usually go up and stay for a long weekend or a week a few times a year. When I go, I will sit with her for several hours at a time, doing crosswords with her, or just watching tv etc. (She doesn't really have dementia but not much short term memory)

When I am there I see several of her aides or the medical staff that come to do her blood checks/insulin shots etc and I always make a point of thanking them when they are done. Even if it's just an aide bringing pills, her laundry or helping her to the bathroom. Her favorite aide is from Peru and I talk with her about her country, background etc. So she knows who I am, and that I respect her work. I think these interactions make the caregivers feel appreciated, which they are for sure, and give mom more personal attention. Sometimes when I call her if an aide is in the room I can hear them say 'Oh is that your daughter?' so I know they remember who I am.

While I have not eaten in the dining room I have walked down to meals with her and seen the food offered. It looks great, although I hear the residents complain of the blandness. My mom doesn't have much appetite and has always been a picky eater, so the staff humors her and 'bribe' her with her favorite dessert if she will eat a decent amount.

I definitely think interacting with staff/caregivers is beneficial to the parent. Plus most of them deserve all appreciation possible for what they do.