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Bereavement

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Marthe48

(20,015 posts)
Sat Oct 19, 2024, 08:27 AM Oct 2024

Etiquette and protocol [View all]

My best friend passed away Oct. 1. Her sister, my friend's last close relative, wasn't sure if my friend had any wishes about having a celebration of life and waited for the attorney to get the death certificate to see if there are instructions in my friend's will. I am friends with the sister, and we are in touch over our loss. I don't know if an obit. will be published, and I don't know if the sister will plan any kind of celebration of life. I wrote a long post about my friend's life and accomplishments, and put it on Facebook. It was just the stuff I knew about. I don't know all of her friends and I'm sure there are gaps in the story I can tell or the people I can contact.

I'm staying in touch with my friend's neighbors and friends, 2 way street. We are comforting each other. They have asked me several times if there is going to be a celebration of life or anything for closure. If so many people weren't asking, I wouldn't be wondering about my role, if I have one. I offered to the sister to plan something if she isn't up to it, but she said to wait to see if there is anything in the will. If it ends up that my friend didn't list any wishes, or her sister doesn't plan a memorial, would I be out of line to plan something? Or should I just leave it alone?

My cousin passed away 2 years ago, and his brother wants to have a memorial, but brother's widow doesn't want to participate in anything like that. His brother, also my cousin and his wife want to meet with me and a few other people to remember the cousin who passed, but we keep missing opportunities. This story is probably influencing what I'm thinking about.

If anyone has advice or experience, I'd like to hear it. Thank you!


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