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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums"Lady G" !!!!!
I have 99 problems with Lindsey Graham and whether he's gay or not ain't one of them. Particularly because if he is - he hasn't come out, and because being gay doesn't make him or any crime he's involved with worse.
Please, we're DU and sexuality is just one thing they slur people over that we don't or shouldn't.
63 votes, 3 passes | Time left: Time expired | |
Homophobic slurs are OK. | |
1 (2%) |
|
Homophobic slurs are not OK. | |
62 (98%) |
|
3 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided. | |
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Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll |
LakeArenal
(29,888 posts)But it matters what Lindsey is trying to do to the LGBTQ community.
FreeState
(10,701 posts)from school yards to churches it is used as a pejorative.
TheBlackAdder
(29,101 posts)Politicub
(12,293 posts)It still doesnt make it right.
TheBlackAdder
(29,101 posts).
While I don't use stuff like that, the younger crowd is hard on Graham's anti-LGBTQ stance and calls out his hypocrisy.
At this point, they are at the Zero Fucks stage. TikTok has thousands of savage content providers.
.
obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)TheBlackAdder
(29,101 posts)obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)Good lord.
I am around them constantly. No, they don't.
TheBlackAdder
(29,101 posts).
Perhaps they don't feel comfortable around you to fully open up. Else, I can't explain the different observations we have.
There are different dialogs that occur between those inside and those outside.
.
BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)... when my son and his husband used it. They mocked him viciously with their exaggerated Plantation Belle accents... it was hysterical. They don't care that he's gay. It's his hypocrisy and so much more, and unfortunately something like that isn't accurately reflected in a very simplistic narrowly focused clickbait binary poll.
Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)to be included in family camp. That is similar to a white person who is related to a black person being included in a conversation in which the N-word is liberally thrown around.
That doe NOT make it acceptable for you (not a member of the LGBT community) to use it or condone its use as an insult outside of the circle of which you are an honorary member.
Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #68)
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Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)The same way that I feel entitled to disregard your lecturing. I'm not your enemy, but I can tell you that it's presumptuous to start making insulting declarations about which "camp" I belong to... or try an pigeonhole me as being an "honorary" member of some exclusive club. That binary way of thinking is a mistake that results in alienating allies.
BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)Is that it was gay men who gave him the nickname in the first place.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)a certain word, does that give me permission to refer them as the plural of that same word here on DU?
Response to marble falls (Reply #99)
BannonsLiver This message was self-deleted by its author.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)Ok.
obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)marble falls
(62,657 posts)Meadowoak
(6,318 posts)Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)Mister Ed
(6,413 posts)redstatebluegirl
(12,510 posts)I dislike him in a serious way, but if his orientation is not the issue here. What I fear is Trump is blackmailing him with something regarding his sexuality which makes Trump the toad I know him to be. Lindsay's sexuality is none of our business. And the decision to come out is so damn personal. Outing someone should be a crime.
Mister Ed
(6,413 posts)Everybody had better quit with this mocking of Graham for his presumptive homosexuality. When I've been called to jury duty in these cases, I've dropped the hammer on the offender.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)GoneOffShore
(17,657 posts)rso
(2,511 posts)Of course mocking Grahams homosexuality is wrong, but in his particular case, it is nonetheless tempting.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... impulses are both wrong.
Except that punching him in the mouth is a crime, mocking him is not. But I understand what youre saying.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)femmedem
(8,460 posts)I'm glad to see that so far, people responding to the poll agree. I hope this leads to the end of using this as a way of insulting Lindsey Graham.
Takket
(22,701 posts)But I think lady g was a nickname he supposedly had in the gay community??? I remember some person that was supposedly one of his male lovers was going to release all this info in his gay trists. DU went nuts with excitement over it that it was going to bring graham down but... and here is a shocker... it turns out some rando on twitter proclaiming that They had info to bring down a senator was full of shit.
But despite that the nickname stuck on here.
Just trying to provide some background info on where that came from. The lease correct me if I have the details wrong.
Raster
(20,999 posts)...they tend to talk to each other.
NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)FreeState
(10,701 posts)Yep and the LGBT community has a vernacular that is used within the community but is not appropriate outside of it. There are even sub-communities (in this case male sex workers) that have their own vernacular.
There is a lot of camp and self depreciation in some of the vernacular due to internalized homophobia and the realities of the LGBT community. It needs to be seen in the historical and communal reality before judging it (much like the N word).
marble falls
(62,657 posts)FreeState
(10,701 posts)Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)In the same way that blacks sometimes use the N-word within their community - it's called reclaiming it, and use in that manner does not give the outside world permission to use it to insult someone. (Even if you happen to be close enough to someone in the LGBT commmunity to be included on the "in" language - you still don't have permission to use it outside of that community (or even within that community with folks who have not given you express or implied permission to do so).)
marble falls
(62,657 posts)Raster
(20,999 posts)...and NO, it does not give ANYONE an excuse to be a homophobe.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)If his being gay doesn't matter than why bring up the male hooker?
Sympthsical
(10,411 posts)He made such a big deal about it, how he had evidence and knew others. Then poof. Never heard about it again.
Wondering if it was a simple publicity thing. Twitter has the attention span of a gnat.
Raster
(20,999 posts)... I think he probably was motivated by the desire to try and do something good like exposing a hypocritical Lindsey Graham, but ended up realizing that in a town that wields privacy -and exposure- like a sword, and uses secrecy as currency, he had no choice but to step back out of the spotlight. In other words, his career as a confidential sex worker would be over.
And no, absolutely nothing wrong with sex workers. They should be legalized, recognized, unionized, and organized.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)marble falls
(62,657 posts)BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)You know its not HOW?
Beakybird
(3,396 posts)I think that it's fine to remind people that there is nothing heterosexual about him.
NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)... they've had just about enough of his hypocrisy.
BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)This is why we lose when we should not. Preoccupation with things that dont matter.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... worth less than straights. Nice. At least you implicitly admit Lady G is a slur and you have no problem with using it.
Beakybird
(3,396 posts)If this is his nickname in the male escort world, I have no problem if others use it.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... here. DU isn't an escort service
tenderfoot
(8,918 posts)eom
aeromanKC
(3,512 posts)it's the hypocritic words and actions from Graham that does.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)aeromanKC
(3,512 posts)I stand by my post.
obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)Wow.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)Second - unless he has disclosed he is gay - it is offensive to suggest he is a closeted homosexual. That implies that you can pick a gay person out by the stereotypes - in and of itself offensive.
aeromanKC
(3,512 posts)I am offended by the evil actions of Graham not silly words by others.
Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)by people on DU throwing around the N word?
It's the same phenomenon.
When you use a group of people as a pejorative, we all know what you think of us - and especially on DU, where the TOS tells us we can expect to be free from it, it is painful. We are attacked enough for who we are outside of DU. Being used as a battering ram in here is not acceptable.
WePurrsevere
(24,259 posts)An insult to 'ladies' to liken that POS to them since he's as classless and clueless as his new buddy Trump and the rest of the Trumplican party.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... my old age. Thank-you for wising me up.
crickets
(26,158 posts)The homophobia and the misogyny of the slur have always bothered me. Thanks also to marble falls for the OP.
Buckeyeblue
(5,742 posts)His overall experience. Our experience informs our decision making process. Bigotry and discrimination toward anyone is not ok.
I do think his being closeted (if he is) is an issue because it opens him up to being blackmailed. He is in far too of an important position to risk that.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... had to have had people killed to keep his "secret" that everybody supposedly knows about."
Miigwech
(3,741 posts)Response to marble falls (Original post)
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Response to marble falls (Original post)
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obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)marble falls
(62,657 posts)RainCaster
(11,731 posts)I would like to see that hypocritical jackass out of government because he is a spineless toady little weasel. That dumbfuck could actually do the LGBTQ community a lot of good if only he was true to his own sexuality. Instead, he fights against them to appease the RW religious bigots.
Response to RainCaster (Reply #27)
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Turin_C3PO
(16,223 posts)slur on Graham or anyone else. I would never call him or anyone else Lady G. Bigotry is unacceptable, especially among liberals. I do have a problem with the fact that Graham, if he is gay, consistently supports homophobic legislation and a homophobic political party.
Politicub
(12,293 posts)If they dont understand that theyre using a homophobic slur, I dont care about their opinion about anything.
obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)I alert on every single usage.
Politicub
(12,293 posts)Probably better than burying my head in the sand.
obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)EarlG needs to publicly say this is not allowed.
Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #53)
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obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #66)
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LexVegas
(6,615 posts)Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #53)
BannonsLiver This message was self-deleted by its author.
Response to marble falls (Original post)
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mopinko
(72,051 posts)le sigh.
safeinOhio
(34,530 posts)If Im told a group finds it offensive, I wont use it. I worked with a AA woman that used the n word in our conversations. She told me it was ok for Black people to use it. I told her that it made me uncomfortable and she never used it again. I dont like the use of dick size or the use of bitch either. Im not perfect but I can learn from mistakes.
Im glad you started the conversation.
Harker
(15,310 posts)comment has resulted in revocation of posting privileges.
Response to Harker (Reply #49)
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Harker
(15,310 posts)I hadn't noticed the timing of matters.
Behind the Aegis
(54,971 posts)More of shame that some still don't seem to fucking get it. As a gay man, it just reminds me that not all those claiming to be my "friend" are.
Response to marble falls (Original post)
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Politicub
(12,293 posts)see him being described as gay looks like a pejorative.
Ms. Toad
(35,736 posts)calling him gay (or misgendering him) is done to insult him or threaten disclosure of his presumed sexual orientation.
Does anyone using this term really believe Graham enjoys it? If not, those individuals are clearly using it as a pejorative to insult him.
Politicub
(12,293 posts)And the point about misgendering him, too.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)You beat me to it.
LeftInTX
(31,180 posts)It is not a crime to be gay, so any exposure would not justify election interference.
He was just re-elected, so he would not have to worry about his "losing an election" for six years.
I really don't think anything going on with possible pictures has anything to do with what he is doing with this election interference.
Even if there were pictures, at the most, Lindsey would just be embarassed and "get over it"...seriously...he would then say, "This is none your business"
We see much worse out there and it doesn't move the the needle.
America has moved beyond this.
We had a gay Republican run for congress here in San Antonio. Not only is he gay, he owns the largest gay nightclub in town. He won the primary from a large field of candidates. I'm sure there are pictures, but no one asked or cared. He won the "family values" crowd.
America has moved on.
Look at Kyle Biedermann in Texas.
Court Documents Say Texas House Candidate Kyle Biedermann Mentally Abused his Children; Was Physically Abusive to Their Mother
A judge banned him from seeing his kids or even speaking to them on the phone
https://www.texasgopvote.com/family/court-documents-say-texas-house-candidate-kyle-biedermann-mentally-abused-his-008828
This guy just won a third term....
I think almost everyone would think this is much worse.....
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... about to drop this because there's nothing I can do about criminal Reps in other counties. The best way to fix Congress is fix gerrymandering. Then we can effectively fix the dismal GOP machine candidates. And at least San Antonio is as much a Democratic stronghold in Texas as we got.
This OP is not about Lindsey Graham. It's about homophobia and misogynistic posting on DU.
ProfessorGAC
(70,989 posts)...it doesn't even seem to the secret Graham would be hiding and is used against him.
There are openly gay Rs.
Whatever is compromising him has nothing to do with his sexual preference.
I think there are major financial entanglements, likely felonious.
He's a crook, gay or straight, and somebody has the goods unless he stays in step.
LeftInTX
(31,180 posts)I don't think voters in SC care that much, this isn't the 1950's, 60's, 70's or 80's.
Turin_C3PO
(16,223 posts)Theres been huge strides this past ten or fifteen years. Of course, we still have a long way to go, as evidenced by some of the posts in this thread.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)efhmc
(15,060 posts)probably is even familiar with.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... allow yourself to be dragged into one of his shenanigans.
Response to marble falls (Original post)
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obamanut2012
(27,953 posts)Noted.
Thanks for being honest!
themaguffin
(4,255 posts)GoneOffShore
(17,657 posts)Response to GoneOffShore (Reply #87)
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GoneOffShore
(17,657 posts)Mister Ed
(6,413 posts)Would I have to be Black in order to object to someone on DU calling another person "n****r"? Since I'm not Black, would I be guilty of being "offended on behalf of others"?
demmiblue
(37,892 posts)This thread has been illuminating.
FreeState
(10,701 posts)The complaints from the community of non-equal treatment have done nothing to shift the practices, policies or rules.
The unfortunate truth of it all is that many people do not see LGBT persons as 100% equal or they would not make exceptions for their behavior.
Mister Ed
(6,413 posts)Can't be both.
GoneOffShore
(17,657 posts)Bye.
Mister Ed
(6,413 posts)Your post #87:
I ask again, in sincerity: are you really claiming that his proper name is "Lady G", and not "Lindsey Graham"?
Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,752 posts)me to say one way or another.
Dream Girl
(5,111 posts)The idea is that Trump is holding this over his head. Not about him being gay.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... used here.
Dream Girl
(5,111 posts)Slurs ok/not okay. How about if people don't consider "Lady G." to be a Homophopic slur? It was a name given to him by a gay escort service. Context is everything.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)1. My poll did exactly what I wanted it to: raise consciousness over how hurtful and hateful it is to DUers.
2. How do you know an unnamed, unspecified, undocumented "gay escort service" did that?
3. It's not being used as a nickname to delineate him from anyone else, customer or not with a gay escort service.
4. It's been used here at DU as a homophobic slur, a violation of ToS.
Dream Girl
(5,111 posts)Context is everything...shades of gray and all that. Hence, your poll is poorly framed. FYI - I write surveys for a living.
Dream Girl
(5,111 posts)marble falls
(62,657 posts)Homophobic slurs are OK.
Homophobic slurs are not OK.
Where's the trick? Because it's OK or it's not OK. The only possible 3rd question would be: Homophobic slurs are OK some times. Which really is an alternate way of saying Homophobic slurs are ok: the difference between hardcore bigotry and "moderate" bigotry.
Because it's not OK on DU. Take a look at the OP and how many hides there are. There been a member banned, too. It's slur on the transgendered, on gays and women. It's against the ToS.
Dream Girl
(5,111 posts)Slur, its that he has a cute code name. Nots not that hes gay, that he is likely compromised and thats why he does Trumps bidding. He could be a call girl service customer with the code name sir stud muffin or Loverboy and it would be the same.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... service. It's not cute and it is a slur no matter how one wants to couch it.
And before you call anyone "sir stud muffin" because you heard a sex worker called him that you'd better be prepared to prove it all true before you repeat it. Otherwise it's just dirty gossip.
Dream Girl
(5,111 posts)Sympthsical
(10,411 posts)So, I dont see why straight people want to argue it.
Seems pretty open and shut to me.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)I at least can prove he was a Major in the Army with a Bronze Star. How a lawyer in Iraq gets a Bronze star I do not know - but that's another argument.
Or how about dumbass, we could definitely prove that with his heavy-handed attempt at fixing Georgia's vote count.
Like I said my poll did exactly what it supposed to do. Do you get paid to do surveys based on rumors and gossip about people's alleged sexual orientation?
BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)Why? Because Graham was in the Air Force, not the Army.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... is "Lady G". Then when you, do explain how that isn't a homophobic slur, an attempt to demean his being gay when it's used here at DU.
What about calling Mayor Buttigieg "Lady B"?
BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)That hes not in the Army?
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... Lady G by any escort service. Or how being a gay escort service client nicknamed by someone else affects his job in a good or bad way even if you could.
It's being used to demean him. That being gay would be a further negative aspect Lindsey Graham. That referring to him as "Lady G" also is intended to further demean him by suggest a feminine aspect is a negative thing. That if he's gay he's transgender as if all gays want to be women.
What if I kept referring to you as Miss Bannon's Liver? I'd get a hide. But that's not the reason I don't do that. I don't do it because demeaning women by slurring you is just plain out wrong. And a clear violation of the ToS.
BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)Im not particularly invested in Grahams sexuality one way or another. Im not the one who felt compelled to start a thread about it, after all.
It has made me wonder though. Do you also object to fat jokes about Trump?
There are people who are overweight through no fault of their own either because of poverty or because of a medical condition. Im sure you will no doubt make that clear in future threads when someone mocks Trump because of his weight?
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... if it doesn't have a thing to do with what they do with their job. But at least you can prove he's fat. Is that what bothers you about him. Are you fat? I want to make sure before I make fun of you.
I have 99 problems with Trump and his build ain't one of them.
SlogginThroughIt
(1,977 posts)As a heterosexual man I dont feel like it is my place to chastise what the lgbtq+ uses for terminology. Sort of like I dont chastise black people for taking back the N word. If that empowers them who am I to say different? As a white man.
Now as to whether or mot they should be calling out a potentially closeted individual? That individual has tried to do harm to the LGBTQ+ community. So either he isnt gay (or other) and he is doing them harm, or he is and still doing them harm. Who am I to chastise them.
As for me I try not to engage in that sort of thing. As a heterosexual man.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)Solly Mack
(93,317 posts)BigDemVoter
(4,557 posts)For Lindsey Graham, being gay IS an insult. Thus when we, gays, call him out on it, it isn't that we are feeling negative about our own sexuality, but Lindsey sure does. . . . . Lindsey is one of the biggest homophobes out there and was never for marriage equality. Pointing out Lindsey's hypocrisy makes absolute sense to me. As I wrote above, we aren't the homophobes. If we say there is a problem calling him out on it, I find THAT homophobic by implying there is something wrong with being gay.
BannonsLiver
(18,338 posts)I dont think straight men should be in the business of telling LGBTQ community members what words they are allowed to use. If they want to police it within their own community thats certainly their business but I wouldnt presume to have that kind of authority myself as a straight man.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)... someone by insinuating he/she is gay. Someone's sexuality is no one's business if they haven't put it out on the street themselves. Whatever crimes Lindsey Graham has committed have nothing to do with his sexuality. Being antigay in attitude is one thing. Using slurs to demean someone is something else. His being gay or not has nothing to do with his crimes.
Don't you think there is a problem with implying his being gay makes his crimes worse somehow, isn't that homophobic?
You've told me you're gay, is it alright (I know it's not) for me to refer to you as Lady BigDem Voter if you object? Is it better or worse if I did that if I didn't know you were gay?
And we won't talk about the insensitivity toward the transgendered who get hit with the wrong gender pronouns intentionally, or the added implication on demeaning women by implying it is an insult to refer to men as 'lady'.
Put simply: our mothers taught us not to name call. This Lady G crap is name-calling and hateful on top of it.
Sympthsical
(10,411 posts)As a gay Millennial, Im telling you its not ok, no matter who you know that does it. What we LGBT people say amongst ourselves is not tacit permission for straight people to have a go.
My black friends use a certain word amongst themselves and around me.
Guess what word I, as a white person, never say no matter how much they do it?
This should not be impossible to understand.
Id also like to note, its the more conservative voices who are desperately fighting to use gayness as pejorative. Shocked pikachu face.
Beakybird
(3,396 posts)Lady G is presumably Graham's nomme de guerre. It's not fair to accuse DU members en mass of homophobia.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)"A straw poll or straw vote is an ad hoc or unofficial vote. It is used to show the popular opinion on a certain matter, and can be used to help politicians know the majority opinion and help them decide what to say in order to gain votes. Straw polls provide dialogue among movements within large groups."
If this is what you mean, yes it is.
"Presumably". When has Lindsey Graham EVER said he had a "nom-de-guerre"?
In that 99% of those polled agree with me, how am I "accusing DUers en masse"?
BTW - this one of the most responded to polls I've seen here in years.
Don't get me wrong. I think he needs to be jailed for what he tried to with the vote in Georgia, Arizona, and other states.
But we try to maintain civility following the ToS and it works.
Beakybird
(3,396 posts)MissMillie
(39,034 posts)I was even asked to sit on a DU jury the other day and had to recuse myself because I was clueless about this one.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)MerryBlooms
(11,903 posts)Attributing feminine qualities to men people don't like, almost always stands around here. I'm a straight white female, and I will not use language that doesn't belong to me. Lots of people complain about political correctness, especially when they're the ones dishing out the insults.
Graham is a sniveling lowlife coward who has zero morals and doesn't give one damn about us or our country. He's now trying to strongarm Sec of States into illegal acts. I want him prosecuted in both public opinion and the courts, but no need to attribute feminine traits to him as an insult. Nothing wrong with being feminine, no matter how you identify.
marble falls
(62,657 posts)Inmates as our representatives in the application of extrajudicial punishment.
I just don't get it.
MerryBlooms
(11,903 posts)Raine
(30,666 posts)DUers should be better then that.
Roisin Ni Fiachra
(2,574 posts)It's also misogynistic.
Graham is a racist POS, but using homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic slurs in reference to him is bigotry and is totally not cool.