It's true, a secret government department actually can geoengineer the weather.
Okay, since the secret is out, I guess it’s time to come clean. A secret government department actually can geoengineer the weather. Yes, it’s true. However, I have been working with a team of scientists to combat the effects of these nefarious storms. The technology that I have been working with is so advanced that we can now geoengineer weather within a powerful storm by creating a vortex shield if you will. This shield will surround a specific area using GPS coordinates and protect everything within that specific area. This technology is so incredible, it’s almost unbelievable.
Our team at VSI Insurance has decided that we must come forward and offer this technology to the general public. Everyone needs to be protected from these new, powerful storms. So, for the first time ever, for the low, low price of only $750.00 we will guarantee your property will not be harmed by a geo-engineered hurricane, tornado or blizzard (coming winter 2025). That’s right, we guarantee your property will not be harmed by weather manipulated by a secret government weather department or your money back!
We also want to make sure everyone is covered from as much harm as possible. So as a special introductory offer, you can also purchase our unique FEMA Foreclosure mortgage insurance to protect all your property from any and all FEMA seizures for the introductory price of only $500.00. That’s right, protect your property from storms and also FEMA seizures for the low price of $1250.00.
Sounds almost too good to be true, but it gets even better. If you act now, and call within the next 24 hours, we will also cover all of your pets, free of charge! That’s right, you never know what might happen to your pets. Now they will be covered and so will the rest of your property, like your golden sneakers, knock off watches, trading cards, and even your bibles. All guaranteed to be protected by VSI Insurance.
To receive your paperwork to get started, Venmo your deposit of $200.00 to icannotbelievewhathappenedtome@gmail.com and I will email you your asset packet to get you started on your way to peace of mind!
As part of our introductory offer, if you sign up today, you get our special Space Laser coverage absolutely free!
= new reply since forum marked as read
Tough crowd.
I thought for sure someone would ask if VSI stood for Very Stupid Individuals. Maybe that's just too obvious.
