My husband collapsed and died tonight.
I'm not looking for sympathy or words of wisdom. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around it. I need to tell my stepson before I let his and our friends know, so I came here where there is some annonymity.
He has been dianosed with Parkinson's Disease for ten years, and had symptoms (serious sleep disorders) for around ten years before that. This past year was difficult for him as he developed severe spinal stenosis and could no longer walk. About a month and a half ago, he had to be hospitalized with a UTI and cellulitis. He stayed in hospital for eight days, then was transferred to a skilled nursing facility for two weeks.
While he was in the nursing facility, the UTI made a come back. He was still on antibiotics when I brought him home, but finished the course in two days. He seemed better for a few days. And then started hallucinating a bit again. A visit with his PCP elicited that the UTI was still lurking, thus more antibiotics that he was still taking, but he seemed much better.
Today, my son and I were picking up an Rx for him, for whatever reason, I felt the need to prepare him for his father's eventual death. I said I thought he was getting ready to die -- not right away, but maybe a few months or a year.
So tonight, around 11:30, he was watching Stephanie Ruhl when I asked him if he was ready to go to bed. He said yes, so I rolled him back to the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed to get undressed and asked me to watch the rest of Stephanie's interview with Fred Guttenberg. He seemed fine, alert.
About two minutes later, I heard my son shout. He heard a crash in the bathroom and his dad moaning. I got to my husband in about fifen seconds. He was moaning, lying on the floor in a very uncomfortable position (that has happened before).
I tried to get him up, but couldn't. My son also tried, but couldn't. I noticed that he had become unresponsive, (my son was telling him fiercely, "Don't you dare die!" ) called 911, and began chest compressions as instructed by the 911 operator. EMS and several sheriff's deputies were there within five minutes or less as I hadn't begun to tire from the chest compressions. I'm sure adrenalin helped there as I'm still feeling the effects of it two hours later.
The paramedics tried to imbue cautious optimism in me, but I knew he was gone.
He has been a part of my life for nearly 50 years. We lived together for eight years before deciding to get married and have been married for 33 years. And I don't know how I feel...
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I so sorry 1monster, we are here for you 
May you find comfort in knowing that others care! 
Over time it may become a comfort that he was still enjoying daily life and went quickly at the end.
friends & family to hold you up while you deal with your grief & sadness & for your honey, safe journey home. Peace to you, family and your husband. Blessings of healing to all of you.
--as only love can.
And it has been almost 6 months since my mom died suddenly -
And I still don't know how to feel. She had just been diagnosed with LEWY dementia.
I thought I had time.
The love you had for each other bring you peace and comfort.
May the good memories always comfort you .
Have relative in year 12 of Parkinson's, being aware that it isn't an instant death sentence is an important message!
Deepest sympathy
I hope you are able to get through the next few days and weeks with the best outcomes for your life. I'm glad your stepson is around to help.
to you and your son.
Please be gentle with yourself as grieving is hard work, mentally, emotionally, & physically.
I am grateful you could share this with us; holding you and your family in my heart. My sincere condolences.
He will RIP. 
The shock, and the heartbreak can be so overwhelming, but thankfully time will help you heal.
We at DU are here for you, truly we are.
Condolences and blessings to you, your son, stepson, family and friends.
Your DU family is here for you.
My deepest condolences. May his memory be a blessing to you both and all who loved him.
and the shock is real. I had a hard time figuring out how to press forward and function the first few days. You'll get things done but barely remember it. Be kind to yourself, it's a very difficult process. I'm so sorry for your loss. 
Peace to you and your family.
May your husband be at peace.
I’m sorry for your great loss.
Hold on tightly to your cherished memories with him. Feel his spirit in your heart. Know you are loved. Give your stepson extra comfort. 🩵🩵
This is a terrible time, and we are here to offer our shoulders and backs however we can.
Hoping the best for you and your son.
My condolences to your family.
Please be kind to yourself and go easy.
We are here.
I lost my husband of 36 years in 2022.
I found myself looking at his death cert. the other day.
He died a cruel and very sad death due to vascular dementia, a problem he was diagnosed with in Feb. 2022. He fell and broke his hip in May of 2022 and he died a few days later as he could not breathe or swallow.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I've gone through a lot of money before and after his death as the whole thing was a frightening and pricey nightmare.
I'll never get over it, never.
I wish you peace in your life if you can find it.
I will also caution you as there are people out there that prey on people like us, elderly widows and widowers.
I'm glad you have someone with you.
I've been alone through this whole process for the past 2-1/2 years.
I find myself to be a somewhat confused wreck as I watch my world crumble around. Being disabled and alone with no help just makes matters worse as I was not prepared for his death at all. He was 85 years old when he died.
Take care of yourself, number one as they say.
It will take awhile for you to process. It'll be a roller coaster for now. Just take it one day at a time.
sorry for your loss. We are here to be with you.
Being numb at first is pretty normal. It's a shock mentally, emotionally and physically.
Sending you DU vibes of peace and healing
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Just one look at the length of this thread should help ease at least a tiny bit of the pain. Let it help to remind you that you’re not going through this alone.
Well, words are just completely inadequate at times like these, aren't' they? Your last sentence really struck a chord. My mother died recently and I didn't know how/what to feel. I felt numb, in shock. It is only now starting to wear off and the depth of the loss is creeping in at all times of the day and night. Sometimes I think our psyche knows how much we can take and protects us from the extreme reality of life changing events. So my only advice (which probably isn't worth much) is allow yourself to feel what you are capable of feeling. May your beloved husband RIP.
It will take time to process what has happened, and I wish you and your son peace and strength as you deal with this loss.
Your DU family is here if and when you need to share anonymously.
sending you a hug.
and remember, you are not alone here.
I'm wishing you comfort and peace.
I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose your life partner of 50 years. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
I'm happy you had your hubby for so long, he was a lucky guy, and am glad you have family there.
