The stages of grief.....denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

[LiberalLovinLug]

I think we are all at different stages of grief after Tuesday. Mine seemed to go from denial, right to depression.
And its going to take a long time to get to acceptance.

But I just wanted to share. And to let everyone know that I also understand that many of you are also feeling the same. We need a big group hug right now.

We can get through this. The Resistance will rise again. And we'll work together, and stand together, to stop as much of the destruction to democracy and the rule of law and the Constitution as we can. Enough to get us to 2026. Where we can freeze and disable any more legislation or even justice approvals if we take back the House and Senate. Then we take it all back in 2028. Its not over.

But right now, I'm not in the mood. Even though I know all of that, I'm fucking depressed as hell right now. I know that some of you have to be as down as myself. I just think we should recognize that we are all still here. Sad though we are. And I need a Big hug

[Silent Type]

1. Good points. I remember how the 2018 mid-terms got everyone excited after losing to trump in 2016.

I know some will say there won’t be any more mid-terms or elections. But I don’t believe that, though understand why some think so.

But yeah, the best I felt today was after pounding on my heavy punching bag awhile.

[Bettie]

2. I don't expect to reach acceptance any time soon

I never reached it during that thing's first term, I doubt it's going to be any different now.

What I have accepted is that our country is filled with people who don't value anything but their hatred. The thing about trump voters is they all hate something more than they love anything.

Also, what are the chances we even have another election....ever?

[Dem4life1234]

4. They are very vindictive, wicked human beings

And I am so sick of them!

[Bettie]

5. Me too

and we have to live among them. Wish I lived in a blue state.

[electric_blue68]

3. I hear you. I do know that the stages grief don't always go in that order. Some people skip stages.

[Jack Valentino]

7. Think I went straight to anger, last night...

Today I deleted a bunch of posts from last night that maybe wouldn't have "passed muster" on a normal day...
Luckily it seems that most DUers weren't anxious to "alert" on their fellows--- or a lot of them had some of the same feelings that I did...

[electric_blue68]

8. I went to a combo denial (this happened?!) subdued (which I consider a low grade depression)...

now a bit of anger is surfacing...tho, actually when I posted I was never going to watch or listen to him unless absolutely necessary to confirm what he actually said. Just heard others describe what he said. Or read his texts instead. That was in the middle of my feelings these past 20 hrs.

[Jack Valentino]

6. I hear ya.

I feel as if I was badly beaten up last night... not physically, but my psyche

[ecstatic]

9. Something that hit me earlier...

We are going back.

To the chaos, lies, incompetence, corruption. Draconian misogynist laws. Everything. We're going back.

[LizBeth]

11. As we have been reading and probably had a feel of it

They have been working on this four decades and we stayed them off. Maybe we need this blow up to wipe clean of this another fifty yrs

[LizBeth]

10. This is funny cause just said in another post I am at least at

Accept and that is ok cause good for my anxiety. And yes, in a very short day I went thru them all. The thing is I don’t want to give it to Trump to feel like crap not the stupid of the nation. I just do not have that much time left to spend four yrs feeling lousy. Not listening to him. Didn’t first four yrs. Stay mildly informed. But I am living my life and gonna fuckin enjoy it!

[Skittles]

13. the word is BECAUSE

not CAUSE

[LizBeth]

22. Oh noes!!! You too Skittle, tell me it ISN'T so. See, mine is aint.

Can't do it. or when people misspell rediculous, oh that drives me batty, just cause....

[nilram]

14. Acceptance might be last on the list

but it's not necessarily the end. People circle around from one to the other. And in this case, it's not necessarily the best, either.

[niyad]

15. You are assuming that there are going to BE elections in 2026?

Remember "Dictator on Day One"? Remember "Vote for me, and you won't ever have to vote again"?

As for acceptance? Does it count that I accept that half of this country is fucking fascist, asshole, misogynist scum who want to turn us into s cross between ruzzia nd the taliban?

[Trueblue1968]

16. UGLY crying. 25 pounds of snot from nose. That is me.

I am 74. Will I ever see a woman president ??????

[niyad]

18. Do you remember the old comment going around during the early days of

the current feminist movement that the ultimate feminist nightmare was that we would finally see a woman president and vice president---- phyllis schlafly and anita bryant? That thought still echoes in my brain. .whoever the current reichwing woomen dzrlings are.

[BluRay76]

17. I am definitely not going through them in order...

As I know is often the case. Honestly, there hasn't been much bargaining for me. Last night (and today), I found myself ricocheting among denial, anger, and depression. Today, those are all still there to some degree, but there's a bit less denial and a bit more of something like acceptance. I hesitate to call it acceptance... maybe a better word for what I'm feeling is "tolerance," given that acceptance implies some level of being on board with whatever is happening. Tolerance, to me, is more like the recognition that this is indeed the outcome - not intending to contest it, but also not on board with the outcome. I am still a bit stunned that this is reality, but I know all too well that it is.

I feel anger at my fellow Americans because TSF is really, really terrible and he is surrounding himself with people who are as bad or even worse - and they knew who he was and they voted for him anyway. I feel anger at my fellow Americans because it seems there was nothing Harris could have done that would have been enough. She addressed his (lack of) character, she addressed his past policy failures, she addressed his planned disastrous policies. She addressed her own background and character, her larger vision for this country, and her specific policies directed at economic issues as well as basic freedoms. She acknowledged the challenges people were facing and her plans to overcome those challenges. And still, people said they didn't know her. They needed to know what she stood for, even though she told them many times... and he never offered a single detailed policy position. He offered "tariffs," "mass deportation," and "dictator on day one."

I feel depression about the fact that there is such deeply ingrained racism and misogyny in this country - first, an eminently qualified woman with deep knowledge of foreign and domestic issues lost to a narcissistic, bigoted grifter who had never held elected office or even a real job, despite clear evidence that he was (at best) inappropriately involved with foreign adversaries and despite the fact that he had admitted to assaulting women. Then, eight years later, now a convicted felon 34 times over, with a history of inciting a violent insurrection and with his bigotry and hate now magnified by his cognitive decline, again managed to win an election against an eminently qualified woman who has served as vice president during a massive economic recovery after a global pandemic. I am incredibly sad that we were denied the incredible leadership that these women could have offered (and Elizabeth Warren, too, for that matter) because our misogyny blinds us to their qualifications.

I feel disgust that this is who we are as a country. That someone who is the absolute worst version of humanity could even be a contender, let alone someone that we allow to obtain unchecked power. Politicians and media enable him; certainly, some of them share his vile world view. A large portion of the electorate eagerly votes for him and cheers him on. An even larger portion can't bother to go fill out a damn ballot. Government of the people, by the people, and for the people only works if people actually do the work to get involved - learn about the policy positions of the candidates and truly think about what those policies mean for themselves and for our society as a whole, and vote accordingly. It only works if we actually hold our politicians to account and make them truly represent us. And it only works if both parties are willing to work together to find common ground and compromise. In that sense, our system of government has been broken for a long time, and all he has done is expand the deep cracks already in our foundation. They have played the long game at least since the Reagan days, and we never figured out how to combat it.

That's a whole lot of words, but what I mean to say is that we are all feeling some complex things, and some of us need to detach and rest for fights to come, some of us need to vent our anger, and some of us need to seek comfort in our like-minded communities, here and in our offline lives. Consider this my way of joining in on that online group hug, and saying that you are not alone. I see you, and I am with you, and I know many others are as well.

[LiberalLovinLug]

23. Thank you so much BluRay76

And for writing out and expressing what most all of us feel.

I was bullied in high school. Came out of the blue when two elementary schools students were steered into a larger high school. The result was that an influx of students from a school where my dad taught entered the fray. A handful of them were bullies. Bullies so bold that their ringleader "Rocky" had antagonized my father with unrelenting class antics. So when he saw I was there too, it was game on for him. He, like Trump, was able to influence others that I was to be ostracized and picked on. High School was hell.

I am an older gentleman now. It still affects me. I have led my life since that time making sure I surround myself with good kind people. I made sure to avoid that kind of assholeness in my life. My choice of who I surround myself with.

But like public school, I, and we, can't avoid our elected political leadership, if we are the minority. Its not our choice, this time vehemently so. Trump is a bully on steroids. Ignorant, narcissistic, misogynistic, bigoted, no morals or ethics, and thinks he deserves to get more than everyone else. And takes pleasure in watching weaker, more sensitive people cry from his actions or words. And works to make his perceived enemies suffer.

I have such a visceral reaction to watching him do that. I thought I had survived a gruelling 4 year, actually 8 year, sentence. Like being locked in a cell with a TV on Fox News 24/7. And my release day was coming November 5th. Not total release, but looking forward to when Trump would be muted, maybe even sent to a cell himself. And would never have power over my life again.

We are going back. For me its like going back to high school. At least what that felt like But I was ostracized and alone there. We are not if we stick together. Take comfort in our collective determination to not let Fascism take hold. We must support each other now more than ever. This can't be a forum of AOC vs Pelosi threads. We don't have that luxury anymore. We are living in an Idiocracy. Up is down. Down is up. Choas will reign again to confuse us into paralysis. But together we WILL get through this!

[nilram]

19. Acceptance is overrated.

[RidinWithHarris]

20. I jumped straight to anger and depression at the same time

As for acceptance... well, I already had accepted it's true that so many millions of Americans were stupid and hateful and ignorant enough to plunge us into this abyss. Hell, even if Harris had won I was already deeply saddened so many of those people are out there.

[LiberalLovinLug]

24. Yeah, "acceptence" here is not quite the same as in the default 5 stages of grief.

Its a sad kind of acceptance that now we know its true, half of Americans cheer on such a vile person to be their leader, and who want their own children to look up to as a role model. I also fear how this will impact the moral standards of the next generation of leaders. The standard for that office has dropped into the gutter.

[scipan]

21. Me too