Wait and Hope.
I find myself contemplating Alexandre Dumas and the fate of Edmond Dantes a lot these last two days plus...
I have had to dial back away from everything... I have literally spent most of the last 48 hours alone as much as possible. I have not watched ANY news coverage, no speeches, no pointless navel-gazing analysts, nothing. I have gone 100% dark. I'm definitely not ever going back to them again. The press and the bullshit and the media are enemies forevermore. Those taking money to abet this madness, to play a role are Caderousse to me. Vile opportunists, worthy of nothing but contempt and an agonizing death of their own making...
And in my darkness, hate abounds.
Contempt and loathing.
Vitriol and recriminations.
It is toxic, it is violent, it is consuming.
It has its own gravity, much like being trapped in the pull of a black hole and held in a deteriorating orbit. Slowly, being drawn in to the destruction at the event horizon.
If I could strike them all out of existence, I might.
Reason has been defeated.
Rational thought is in the trash.
Concepts like 'equal justice under law', 'one person, one vote', and 'all the news that's fit to print' / 'democracy dies in darkness' are laughably trite and discarded.
The world I thought we lived in is exposed as a fantasy.
Fairness, equality, opportunity - all bullshit.
Crony.
Money.
Profit.
Get the 'others'.
Blame.
Those are the currency of the realm now.
I refuse to participate, I refuse to acknowledge it in any chosen way.
I apologize to my unfortunate friends who cannot take my cowardly way out.
I am white.
I am male.
I am 53 years old.
In short, at a glance and by education and birth, I'm "in the club"...
Unless I choose to speak out, most dipshits who are in the cult of personality simply speak around me as if they are talking to a friend. I will allow them to do so. I will hide in plain sight. I will listen and ignore or not reply. I will allow them to speak as hatefully and openly as they can, secure in the knowledge that their hate and rhetoric pales in comparison to the fires of hell that burn in my core towards them.
But my hate will fester and grow.
My vengeance will wait.
I am going to become the 21st century Count of Monte Cristo now. I will take on masks and identities that aid my plans and that will hurt and harm them in the end. I will see them all die or destroy themselves and will relish the damage to them and to the ones that their black hearts still beat for.
It is sad that there will necessarily be people harmed when I take my revenge.
But in the end, Dumas' antihero Edmond Dantes found the two words to sum up human accomplishment:
Wait, and Hope.