"Are you shutting out friends an family because of the election?" Closed-ended question with a lot of open-ended nuance.

[Pacifist Patriot]

I've been seeing a lot of posts in various social media platforms, as I'm sure most of us have, about cutting ties with friends and family who voted for him. It is easier for some people to do than others. My heart goes out to people who are financially dependent upon one or more of his voters/supporters - whether that is in the home or the workplace. I feel the utmost sympathy for folks who have one or more of his voters/supporters financially dependent upon them and are too kind to chuck them out. It takes a special kind of compassion and a strong moral compass to do that.

I'm fortunate on one side of my family. All of my close family members are democrats and vocal ones at that. I disengaged with my extended family years ago "over politics." Well, that's what they think. I have political disagreements with people all the time and our relationships stay strong and healthy.

As we all know here at DU, this election is far less about politics and much more about morality. Who we strive to be as individuals and how we want our communities and our society to reflect and embody our values was at stake. The very fabric of our fragile democracy was at stake. Political differences in a well-functioning democracy are about how we prioritize and address shared problems, not about whether we should have a democratic government at all.

I was able to disengage completely from my extended family because they aren't in my geographic sphere and I'm not on their social media platforms. I conveniently had plans already when family gatherings were proposed, most times legitimately. I truly have had conflicts for weddings, graduations, and holidays. In 2019 I promised my mom that I would attend one last family reunion for her sake and then never engage with them again.

On our way home from that trip, I asked my (mostly grown) children if they regretted not growing up with my cousins' kids like the others in their generation had. Seeing the other kids getting along so closely, I wondered if I made a mistake depriving them of that camaraderie and support. I got an immediate, "hell no!"

They proceeded to tell me how uncomfortable they had been and found my mom's family to be "mean" and "closed-minded" and "hurtful" and "ignorant" and a bunch of other adjectives along those lines. I hadn't overheard it but apparently there was a lot of casual racist and misogynist talk from my cousins' kids that profoundly disturbed them. Who apparently had no clue that their comments were in any way objectionable. My kids expressed gratitude for not being routinely exposed to that and asked for assurances that they would not be subjected to it again. They most definitely will not be.

I am stuck visiting my husband's parents for Thanksgiving, they are quite elderly and my father-in-law may not be around for much longer. My brother-in-law will be there and I know for certain he is a racist misogynist asshole who voted for him. How those two came from the same parents will baffle me to my dying day. My husband has made sure everyone knows that politics is a forbidden subject because if it comes up, I will not hold back. I won't start anything, but I sure as hell will finish it. I'm hoping for the best.

If you're cutting off ties, I wish you strength and applaud you for your convictions. I hope you have a support network in place and aren't too isolated as a result.

If you are unable to do so, I wish you the fortitude to make it through without losing your sanity. I hope you have a support network in place and aren't too burdened as a result.

I'm glad we have DU, but online relationships only go so far. Find someone to hold and to hold you back, even if it is a fur baby.

Deep breath.

[SoCalDavidS]

1. Yes nt

[Tansy_Gold]

2. If they are MAGA, GOP, or DGAF . . . .

. . . . . they are no longer family or friend.

I went through this several years ago at a Thanksgiving dinner with "friends." When I tried to explain why I did not agree with or support the GOP, I was called a fucking socialist -- which btw I consider a compliment -- and told I should be taken out in the street and shot.

I won't take that risk again ever.

[canuckledragger]

18. "And which one of you fucking cowards will try it?"

...is the way I would've responded to those 'friends'

[Tansy_Gold]

20. Some of them had guns

I did not.

I do not poke bears.

I left.

[Ferryboat]

3. The few that haven't been cutoff will not be getting any phone calls anytime soon.

Profoundly upset over the results.

Only 2 left, 1 is definitely out the last man standing?

My best friend. Good thing he is out of town fishing most of the time.

[DFW]

4. Nope. Not shutting out anyone.

No Trumpanzees in my family, so no one to shut out.

[erronis]

39. You are very lucky. Watch out for the AfD and the right-wingnuts in the rest of Europe.

I did have a relationship to a xian for a while. She would bounce around in her beliefs but her family was pretty stupidly RW.

[DFW]

45. The AfD is ugly, but has most of its support in the former DDR

Instead of confronting the Nazi past head on like West Germany did (not that we gave them the choice), the socialist East just declared, “no more Nazis here, nothing but us good old socialists!” So, no serious nationwide denazification efforts were undertaken.

The socialists adopted the Nazi uniform for its army (except the oddball helmets) and the goose stepping. They even kept the name “Reichsbahn” for its railway. Therefore, a latent neo-Nazi sentiment was always there lurking right beneath the surface. The west has its xenophobes and racists, too, of course, but at least here, it’s PC to confront them and call them out for what they are.

[Beatlelvr]

5. Yes!

One brother went Repub in 80's, influenced by in-laws. His widow and three sons are Trumpers. Other brother, sil and daughters are all Dems. Thank goodness for them! We don't communicate much with first brothers family. We haven't shut them out entirely but I just don't like them very much anymore!

[Hippasus]

6. No. (nt)

[niyad]

19. Welcome to our DU family.

[Hippasus]

33. Thanks!

[XanaDUer2]

7. My bitch sister pretty sure doesnt vote

But shes proTrump. I went no contact bc she's abusive months ago. I kept politics off my page, until she ha ha a Harris post about medicare.

Then, no fuck s given anymore. Now every post is something nasty abt trump n fuck her. She supported me listening to my domestic issues, but then said to stop.

Anyway, every discussion with her was unpleasant anyway no matter what we talked about. For instance, I was watching the sopranos wrong. That was one of the last things

[BlueTsunami2018]

8. I'm mad at them but I'm not cutting off my family over it.

I’m going to tell my father to fuck off? Not a chance. I have expressed my disappointment and anger about it but I’m not cutting him off. He’s been too good to me for too long to let that orange asshole take that away.

[Cartoonist]

9. Two of my brothers.

The older one is a racist to the core. I have completely abandoned him. The younger one I have hope for because his wife is a decent person. I don't engage with him anymore once he declared himself a flat-earther. I don't believe you can stay that ignorant forever.

[Autumn]

10. I certainly have shut out friends an family because of the election.

And I feel fine. They made the choice to vote for an asshole who will harm many of our friends and family . Fuck them.

[JPPaverage]

11. In a word, yes

I have absolutely no use for magats nor do i want to "normalize" relations with them.

[John Shaft]

12. I don't allow people who agree with a man who has committed sex crimes

around me.

That's called "bad paperwork" in prison. Dudes like that are ostracized.

[Paladin]

13. Shutting out some friends and family members? Yes, indeed.

Life is too short to waste time on the unworthy.

[Johnny2X2X]

14. Taking time right now

Not sure overall. My elderly mother is one, I have not spoken to her and am not sure I will again.

[Meadowoak]

15. Put them all to the curb in 2016. Found out

Another cousin voted for Trump. She's blocked and deleted from my life now too.

[Buckeyeblue]

16. I had already weeded out a lot of Trump people who were friends/acquaintances

Family is trickier. Rather than cut out pro-Trump relatives, I have reduced time with them and overall presence when I'm with them. I'm much more guarded. I don't respond to political questions/comments. I quickly change/divert the conversation when it comes up.

[niyad]

17. I am most fortunate. I am retired, have no family, have a circle of equally

progressive (radical) friends, and the very few people I know who are batshit, I have vey little interaction with these days.

[canuckledragger]

21. I'm Canadian, so Trump isn't as direct a threat to us as he is to you folks

That being said, I cut most of my family out my life a long time ago, not because they would support abusive criminals like Trump, but because they're all mostly narcissists, pathological liars, addicts/alcoholics or their enablers.

And I would get pretty angry at being scapegoated by them for their own failings, taken advantage of because 'family', etc.

I'm not at my best, and life is hard without family support that I never got in the first place, being a stepkid and not of the royal bloodline, but still much better off mentally, emotionally, financially, etc. without them in my life.

I cut them out because they're toxic, prone to causing their own disasters and blaming everyone else for them. I don't know their political leanings, having been out of touch for so long, but they sure act like the conservatives I know.

[Clouds Passing]

24. You had to decide between abuse or sanity

I know I have lived that kind of life from the family I grew up with. Many

[ShazzieB]

37. OT, but I just have to say I love your user name!

I love puns, and that is a great one!

[Clouds Passing]

22. Yes

[LizBeth]

23. I have with all but my father and he is too old and too good a man, just brainwashed with so many

I stopped talking politics with him a couple decades ago. All the others are out of my life and I am good with that. Both sons more progressive than I am and they are the ones that matter.

[womanofthehills]

25. No way - if we ever want to unite as a country

Kindness is best. A Republican BIL of one of my Dem friends told me I was the only Dem he has ever been able to talk too. He said something bad about Bernie and I told him Bernie is kind of our Rand Paul. That stopped him for awhile - I could see his mind turning. Then he asked me more interesting questions about Bernie.

Anyway, he loves to garden and ferment food & brought me some chickens so no way will I be mean to him.

[erronis]

41. That's an interesting anecdote. Making him think about the context of Bernie and Rand Paul.

I doubt many of us (anywhere on the spectrums/spectra) would easily digest that comparison. And it makes the old brain actually have to think!

[ffr]

26. Already did back in 2016.

They're too brain damaged to have an intelligent discussion with, so there's no point in trying.

[txwhitedove]

27. Yes, everyone but close family, meaning wayward grown kids. Heart breaking.

[joanbarnes]

28. Cut then off years ago....

Fortunately the ones that matter are all sane Blue Democrats.

[kimbutgar]

29. Luckily nobody in my immediate family is maga

Only maga in laws in Arizona that I’m visiting at Christmas. And i plan to be a subdued quiet as a mouse.

[maxrandb]

30. I wish we would shut-out the corporations, businesses and hate radio advertisers that bought us this shitshow first

and the word "bought" is NOT a typo.

[Ursus Arctos]

31. Yes.

One brother I don't talk with much anyway, and people at work. Anyone who thought it was ok to vote away women's human rights and the human rights of marginalized populations because "reasons" is not someone I want or need in my life.

[Orrex]

32. Yes, round three

I dumped a lot of people in 2016 and again in 2020, and now once again.

[La Coliniere]

34. Started cutting ties after Bush 2.

One by one they have now all been jettisoned and I have no regrets. I still have close family who share my views.

[Demobrat]

35. I don't have to. It happened gradually over time.

I never made an announcement, or even a decision really. I’m just so repulsed by the attitudes I can’t be around them so I gradually fade.

It’s easy for me because my FOO is very small and I’m a SWANK. I feel bad for those who can’t escape it.

[Roc2020]

36. Fortunately most of my family is blue

I have one really hardcore MAGA aunt, fortunately too also I live in Atlanta and she lives in Rochester NY. I hate Rochester and before the election had no plans to visit. Now I really have no plans to visit, maybe not ever.

[Pacifist Patriot]

42. Interesting. I was in Rochester last week at my son's senior recital.

It's a very blue area of New York. Every person we encountered was devastated. We struck up a conversation with a bar manager who ended up being a Democrat who had run for office in 2018. Showed us a picture of him with Secretary Clinton on his phone.

We went back our last night in town to buy a gift certificate for our hosts. He came around the packed bar and crowded entryway to give us hugs and tell us we're all in it together.

But yeah, if that was my association with it, I'd have no reason to go!

[chouchou]

38. Mine's fairly easy. I've cut any friend/friends that vote/worship that degrading bag of protoplasm.

Phone numbers= Erased.
Facebook/other social gatherings= Unfriend.
I have to hear it's voice for 4 more years..or JD Vance/ JD Vacuum? F*** You. You don't exist.

[PortTack]

40. Yes... family of my long term partner. They never liked me, Ive tried so hard with them over the yrs.

This is the last straw…damn it feels good!

[Ysabel]

43. wish people sanity too...

the most awful thing happened to me -- my Democratic relatives went and sided with Nazis and the pro Tfg ones and other Republican ones were nice to me ( go figure eh ??? ) anyway the whole thing drove me out of my mind ( I do mean literally ) and I still have not completely recovered ( that was in 2018 )...

[Pacifist Patriot]

47. Oh my

[RandiFan1290]

44. I don't associate with racists. nt

[Raine]

46. No, absolutely not. We have plenty of other things to talk about

besides politics. We leave politics out of out it, family is more important to us.