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Top 10 Idiots

(624 posts) Thu Nov 21, 2024, 05:00 PM Thursday

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-14: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-14: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yoooooooooooooooooooooo!!! What’s up Rutgers, sold us out again! And man has it been a white hot minute since we last set foot in the Garden State, hasn’t it? Last time was what? 2018? 6 years! So we didn’t get canceled last week? Phew! The show must go on! And if you didn’t see that spectacle, you can do so here. In case you didn’t know what I’m talking about, last week, we expressed our frustrations at the results of the election. And to do so, we decided to break the F-bomb record set by the Wolf Of Wall Street at 569. And we did it! Now that I got that out of my system, we need to be much more level headed as we wind down the rest of the year and look towards the absolute fucking horror show that’s going to be unfolding the day after the inauguration. Will the United States still be a country then after his first 24 hours? Who knows! Well, we have to talk about the future of our fine program here. Yes, we’ve been doing this program for 8 years and we really did have plans to ride off into the sunset after our upcoming 2024 Year In Review special. Which we were going to do had Harris won the election. But after the election, we considered packing it in ahead of time. But nope, people bought into the Fox News fearmongering bullshit and now we’re stuck with another term of the guy who we’re from now on going to refer to as Orange Fuckface and it’s really, really, really bad. It’s because of this photo here. See? You can’t unsee it! And it’s just been two fucking weeks. But hey, we’ve got cheap gas and our groceries are less expensive and also no trans women in sports. So was it worth turning our country into an authoritarian shit show, MAGA? Let’s see. And yes, Sean Hannity, it’s been two fucking weeks and we’re already that much fucking WORSE off than we were 4 years ago, and this shit show hasn’t even started yet! Well, we’re taking a much needed lengthy hiatus because this election brought us to a breaking point. Mentally and physically, it’s just a time to say “fuck it”. But, that said, we are coming back in April with a new and improved Top 10 that will be much more interactive than our current version! How about that? We can’t let Fuckface get away with this, can we? Yes, it will be insane. And I say… welcome to the burning down of the United States. Grab a seat, grab some popcorn and a beer (or whatever your beverage of choice is) and enjoy the show! OK, enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to! But first, John Oliver is back and he talks about one of the biggest talking points of the Fuckface campaign: the banning of Tik Tok, which is completely and grossly unconstitutional. Fuck this administration!:

So where do we begin this week? Well, as you can imagine, the election has given us a metric fuck ton of material to work with. And before anyone asks if that’s made our jobs easier, we can instantly reply with “No, it’s made it that much FUCKING worse.”. By the way, from this point on, we will no longer be referring to him in any way, shape or form as “Donald Trump”. Instead we will be referring to him by his new name – “Orange Fuckface”. Yes, because of the garbage photo. You can’t unsee it! And in the first slot, is of course President Select Orange Fuckface (1). And we are going to go through some of his chosen cabinet positions, and they are infinitely worse than you could possibly imagine! In the second slot this week, we’re going to change things up a bit and give you some edumacation (2)! Yes, we know Thanksgiving is next week, and we know many of you are going to be in very uncomfortable situations involving your friends and family, so we’re going tell you how to make political discussions less volatile, and yes that’s a thing! In the third slot is one of Fuckface’s personal helper monkeys – Mr. Brain Worm (3) himself, RFK Jr. Yes, Fuckface put him in charge of the Department Of Health & Human Services, which is pretty much like giving the alcoholic the keys to your liquor cabinet and to your car, and giving him the directions to the nearest cliff. In the number 4 slot (4) is a rather delicious bit of what the Germans call schadenfreude for you, and that is that everyone’s favorite satire outlet The Onion bought the remaining assets and domain of Alex Jones’ Infowars (4), officially marking the end of one of Fuckface’s helper monkeys, and the beginning of a new one! In the number 5 slot is a new We’re All Gonna Die (5). And yes, we’ve been watching the Bird Flu (H5N1) saga unfold in both California and British Columbia, but with Brain Worm in charge of public health, what could possibly go wrong? A whole lot! In the number 6 slot, is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and MAGA megachurch pastors all over the country are celebrating the Dark One’s ascending to the throne, and if you think they’re no different than ISIS or Al’Qaeda, well, you’re not wrong! In the number 7 slot this week, we’re profiling neo-Nazi podcaster and prolific internet shit poster Nick Fuentes (7) in a new “This Fucking Guy”, and while we’re normally against doxing, well, fuck that guy! In the number 8 slot this week is our weekly venture into the never-ending void of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week could two safe havens for neo-Nazis and right wing extremists – Elon’s X and Fuckface’s Truth Social – merge? It’s entirely possible given how poorly his company is doing in the stock market! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, Disney World, aka the Mouse House, has a problem with people spreading their loved one’s ashes at their parks, made worse by the mother of Disney star Ariana Grande, and we’re going to tell you why you shouldn’t do that! Finally this week in Road To The Shithouse – we’re going to tell you why Fox is crafting a government to TV pipeline by having one of their hosts nominated to a cabinet position they are in no way, shape or form qualified for, and it’s going to be a shit show! And to cap things off, we have our original musical guests returning to our show – Bastille! Buy their new album “& (Ampersand)” or you’re no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Fuckface’s Cabinet
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You know, when George Bush stole the 2000 election via the Bush V Gore Supreme Court case in 2001, Rush Limbaugh famously played the classic song “Happy Days Are Here Again”, unironically covered by Judy Garland and Barbara Streisand to signal the GOP being back in power. He played it again in 2016 after Fuckface stole that election. Now that Fuckface is back in power, we think that song no longer applies given the utter shit show he’s about to unleash in January. Instead, I think we can sum this up with a pick of our own – the AC/DC classic Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap! Because all you have to do is declare your undying loyalty to Fuckface, repent your sins nightly on the Fox News multi-level marketing firm family of fine propaganda programs, and you can have any job you want for life and nobody to stop you! That is, unless you say anything that the cult doesn’t want to hear. Then you get busted down to Fox & Friends contributor. George Carlin was right – it’s a big club and we’re not in it! And then you can go as nuts as you want and there won’t be anyone to stop you! But we have to go through some of Fuckface’s cabinets picks, because they are every bit as horrendous as you might imagine, and then some. Last week, we brought one of his first nominees – The Heritage Foundation’s Tom Homan, who is one of the co-authors of the ultra-hideous Project 2025, which is now going to become reality. But he’s infinitely worse than you could ever imagine!

President-elect Orange Fuckface announced late Sunday that Tom Homan, the former acting director of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement who backed his controversial "zero tolerance" policy, will be his administration's "border czar."

"I am pleased to announce that the Former ICE Director, and stalwart on Border Control, Tom Homan, will be joining the Fuckface Administration, in charge of our Nation’s Borders ('The Border Czar'), including, but not limited to, the Southern Border, the Northern Border, all Maritime, and Aviation Security," Fuckface said on Truth Social.

"I’ve known Tom for a long time, and there is nobody better at policing and controlling our Borders," the post continued. "Likewise, Tom Homan will be in charge of all Deportation of Illegal Aliens back to their Country of Origin. Congratulations to Tom. I have no doubt he will do a fantastic, and long awaited for, job."

Homan touts hard-line immigration views and previously vowed to “run the biggest deportation force this country has ever seen.”
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/Fuckface-announces-tom-homan-incoming-border-czar-rcna179536

Damn right! Look, Fox News gave Kamala shit 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the last three fucking years about her handling of the “border crisis” that they made up and purposefully blew up so Biden wouldn’t get a victory. Yes, anything that happens at the border now is EXPLICITLY the fault of Fox News, don’t ever let anyone else tell you otherwise. But I’d rather take a million of her, than one Tom Homan – a literal fucking Nazi! And in case Homan’s MAGA credentials weren’t Nazi enough, behind door #2 is Fox News correspondent Pete Hegseth – who has a literal WHITE POWER tattoo on his chest and was indicted for a sexual harassment scandal. Yes, these are the kind of people who, I don’t know, are going to be RUNNING THE FUCKING COUNTRY!

Orange Fuckface’s transition team scrambled Thursday after Fuckface’s incoming chief of staff Susie Wiles was presented with an allegation that former Fox & Friends cohost Pete Hegseth, Fuckface’s nominee to be Defense Secretary, had engaged in sexual misconduct. According to two sources, Wiles was briefed Wednesday night about an allegation that Hegseth had acted inappropriately with a woman. One of the sources said the alleged incident took place in Monterey, California in 2017.

According to the transition source, the allegation is serious enough that Wiles and Fuckface’s lawyers spoke to Hegseth about it on Thursday. A source with knowledge of the meeting said that Hegseth said the allegation stemmed from a consensual encounter and characterized the episode as he-said, she-said.

On Thursday evening, Hegseth’s lawyer Timothy Parlatore said: “This allegation was already investigated by the Monterey police department and they found no evidence for it.”

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/story/pete-hegseth-misconduct-allegation-meeting

That’s a good question! Even Captain Picard knows you’re completely full of shit! But his list of shady underlings, er, cabinet members, just continues to get that much fucking worse every single day, and we hate to say “we told you so” but we did and you have to face the consequences now. And don’t worry, when we come back after Thanksgiving, we’re going to have plenty of stories for you about people who voted for Fuckface and now regret it. And we hate to be those people, but here we are. Oh and who’s behind door number 3? Dr. Oz! That’s right! Dr. Oz! It’s good to see that Fox News and TV personalities are well represented in this cabinet!

U.S. President-elect Orange Fuckface said on Tuesday that he had chosen television personality and surgeon Dr. Mehmet Oz to serve as administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, a wide-reaching agency with annual spending of $2.6 trillion.

Fuckface, who endorsed Oz in his unsuccessful run in Pennsylvania for the U.S. Senate in 2022, said he would work closely with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who was nominated to lead the Department of Health and Human Services.

Oz said in a post on social media website X he was looking forward "to serving my country to Make America Healthy Again under" Kennedy's leadership.

Fuckface said the pair would take on "the illness industrial complex, and all the horrible chronic diseases left in its wake" as well as cutting what he called waste and fraud.

"Our broken Healthcare System harms everyday Americans, and crushes our Country's budget," Fuckface said in a statement.
https://www.usnews.com/news/us/articles/2024-11-19/Fuckface-picks-dr-oz-to-serve-as-cms-administrator

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The “Illness industrial complex”? What the fuck are they smoking? It just gets worse! Which brings me to the last candidate I want to profile this week, who may be the worst of the bunch. Yes. I’m talking about education. You know that the MAGA fuckheads have been threatening to eliminate the Department Of Education for years now, because apparently Rupert Murdoch said so. The government is not his personal property. But guess who was just tapped to run the DOE? Linda McMahon. That’s right – the future of our children is going to be in the hands of a woman whos’ been body slammed one too many times on live television. What the actual fuck are we doing in this country? WTF. I need a drink.

President-elect Orange Fuckface has named his transition co-chair Linda McMahon as his pick to serve as the next secretary of the Department of Education.

The decision, which Fuckface announced Tuesday night confirming CNN’s earlier reporting, took shape after it became clear that McMahon would be passed over for Commerce secretary. Fuckface named his other transition co-chair, Howard Lutnick, as his pick to lead the Commerce Department earlier Tuesday after the Cantor Fitzgerald CEO had thrown his name into the mix for Treasury secretary, sparking a battle with hedge fund manager Scott Bessent.

“Linda will use her decades of Leadership experience, and deep understanding of both Education and Business, to empower the next Generation of American Students and Workers, and make America Number One in Education in the World. We will send Education BACK TO THE STATES, and Linda will spearhead that effort,” Fuckface said in a statement.

McMahon, a major Republican donor and a former pro-wrestling executive, served as the administrator of the Small Business Administration during Fuckface’s first term. She was appointed in 2017 and resigned in 2019 to become the chair of America First Action, a pro-Fuckface super PAC. She is the board chair of the America First Policy Institute, a pro-Fuckface think tank that was formed in 2021 by McMahon, Larry Kudlow and other advisers from the first Fuckface administration.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/19/politics/linda-mcmahon-education-secretary-Fuckface/index.html

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[font size="8"]How To Talk On Thanksgiving
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Look, Thanksgiving is next week. We know some people might not be in the holiday spirit right now because the election cycle that just happened was absolutely draining mentally and the absolute worst possible outcome of any election in United States history. We’re so tired of Fuckface and all of his bullshit. We’re tired of seeing him on the news and in our social media feeds 24 hours a day. Many of us are ready to check out or have already checked out of reality. And if you’re doing any sort of traveling to visit your friends or loved ones during the holidays, chances are you are probably going to encounter folks who voluntarily voted for Fuckface. So we here at the Top 10 Home Offices in Santa Ana, California, decided that we want to give you some fuel in case you encounter Fuckface fans on your holiday journey. See, we like to educate as well as entertain. Yes, we know things are bad now, but we want you to be able to talk shit because we know that there’s going to be some political arguments out there that are going to get very heated, very quickly. One good thing we can tell you is that even some of Fuckface’s more extremist picks for cabinet positions are being met with some resistance in Fuckface’s inner circle. So if the conversation about folks like Pete Hegseth or Tom Homan come up, we can tell you this!

Hegseth was tapped last week to become Fuckface’s defense secretary but now those in the president-elect’s inner circle are “quietly preparing a list of alternative” candidates, Vanity Fair reported.

“It’s becoming a real possibility,” a source told the outlet’s special correspondent Gabriel Sherman.

The source said that the Fuckface team was taken by surprise after a serious sexual assault allegation against Hegseth came to light, which led Fuckface’s incoming chief of staff Susie Wiles to question the former Fox News host on a call last week. Hegseth was never charged with a crime and denies the allegations.

“People are upset about the distraction. The general feeling is Pete hasn’t been honest,” a second source told Vanity Fair.

----

A “prominent Republican” close to the Fuckface transition team told the outlet that some are also unhappy with the president-elect’s choice due to Hegseth’s lack of qualifications to lead the nation’s defense.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/Fuckface-transition-team-quietly-looking-124003030.html

People are upset? Do you know Fuckface? When have you ever trusted him to do the right thing? And we can imagine that most people’s upcoming Thanksgivings are not going to be anything like the one Snoopy and Woodstock had. In fact, we know there’s going to be some tension. But make no mistake that this election was basically just a hit job to continue funneling more of America’s taxpayer money to the scumbag billionaire class who doesn’t deserve it. Yeah let’s give billionaires more money! In fact, we’re going to show you some classic examples of cause and effect in a minute, because you know we love some cause and effect around here! So when a friend or relative brings up that the president controls prices, you might want to show them this.

A Walmart executive warned that President-elect Fuckface’s plans to raise tariffs on imports could drive the retail giant to increase the price of store items.

“We never want to raise prices,” John David Rainey, the company’s CFO said in an interview with CNBC on Tuesday. “Our model is everyday low prices. But there probably will be cases where prices will go up for consumers.”

Fuckface has proposed a 10 percent to 20 percent tariff on all imported goods, and a tariff of at least 60 percent on Chinese imports. Republicans generally have backed him on the economic front, agreeing that the U.S. should “reset its economic relationship with China.”

The company has reported that two-thirds of merchandise sold in Walmart U.S. and 93 percent of merchandise sold in Walmart Mexico is “made, grown or assembled domestically.” This stemmed from a 2021 commitment to $350 billion effort to invest in home-grown products.
https://thehill.com/business/4998684-walmart-Fuckface-tariffs-prices/

Damn right! Come on, when are we going to trust the CEO of Wal-Mart on anything? So guess what, prices are going up, up, up! But what about your wages? That’s right – you know, that paycheck that we need to do this thing called “living”. Well, examining some cause and effect here, Wal-Mart is going to raise prices. How do we know? Because you can’t trust CEOs to tell you the truth! That’s how Wall St got to stealing all of our money. And by the way, MAGAs, it’s not taxes that are stealing your hard earned income, it’s your boss! Guess what? If you live in my home state of California, you just voted to further enrich *THEIR* pocketbooks! That’s right – there was one of those famous California propositions that voted to increase the minimum wage. Guess what you did? You… wait for it… voted against it! That’s right – you voted to give billionaires more of your money! It’s not the IRS that’s stealing your money, it’s your boss! And he just tricked you!

California voters have rejected Proposition 32, which would have increased California's minimum wage to $18 an hour, CBS News projects.

The ballot measure would have immediately increased the state's minimum wage rate to $17 an hour for employers with 26 or more employees. Beginning Jan. 1, 2025, it would have required workers at those businesses to receive a roughly 5.9% raise to $18, making the state's minimum wage the highest in the nation. For employers with 25 or fewer employees, the minimum wage would have increased to $17 on Jan. 1, 2025, and to $18 by Jan. 1, 2026.

Proposition 32's rejection comes after health care and fast-food workers in the state received a minimum wage boost this year, the latest in a series of hourly pay rate increases in California over the last 10 years.

Nearly 33% of California's labor force have low-wage jobs that pay less than $18 an hour. More than 3 million workers in California, or roughly 16% of the state's labor force, earned less than $17 an hour in 2024, according to Oxfam.
https://www.cbsnews.com/losangeles/news/california-voters-reject-proposition-32s-minimum-wage-increase-cbs-news-projects/

So when dealing with your friends and family about the state of the economy in the United States, that’s one thing to give them fuel for the fire! Ha ha ha ha ha…. You had the chance to increase your weekly paycheck, but guess what? You actively voted against it! So the answer to why you’re not rich is 100% you. You’re your own worst enemy! And by the way, if you trust the 700 billionaires who are really running the United States of America to do the right thing, guess what? You’re wrong! Well you enjoy posting on Bluesky? One billionaire actually proposed buying Bluesky only to shut it down. But despite Fox News’ constant fearmongering about the economy, it’s doing better than ever. So tell that to your MAGA friends and relatives. Because Fuckface is going to ruin it, maybe forever, and we can say “Ha ha! We told you so!”.

The vibes have officially shifted.

The economy Orange Fuckface said was broken? All it took was him winning, and consumer sentiment among Republicans soared.

Elections? Suddenly Republicans are on board with the reality that they’re secure. House Speaker Mike Johnson said he saw no evidence of fraud in the 2024 campaign.

And the media landscape? Viewership of Fox News has surged since Fuckface’s win despite his harsh criticism of the network in the run up to Nov. 5.
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/11/17/republicans-Fuckface-win-economy-election-security-confidence-00189941

[font size="8"]RFK Jr
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If the year 2024 could be summed up in one single word, that word is “BREAKING”. It’s literally on every single article, every minute piece of news. Every news is breaking!!! The only thing that’s actually going to be breaking is my monitor when I throw it out the window! Well, the psychopath who’s been put in charge of breaking America’s public health system, Mr. Brain Worm himself, has been in a whole heap of trouble over his proposed plan. But really, when has that ever stopped any of these psychopaths before? It hasn’t. In fact, Mr. Brain Worm himself is so toxic that even the campaign and the incoming abomination, er, administration is trying to distance themselves from him. Even his own cousin, the daughter of JFK and the current ambassador to Australia, Caroline Kennedy, has been trying to warn us about how toxic and dangerous RFK Jr is. But come on, when have you ever expected Fuckface to do the right thing? He never does. If you told him not to jump off that cliff, he’d jump off the cliff and give you the finger while he’s going down. So we’re stuck with this guy unless he lasts a Scaramucci.

Donald Fuckface’s team appeared to be quietly distancing itself from Robert F Kennedy Jr in the immediate aftermath of the election amid speculation that the former presidential candidate could be handed control of US public health agencies. Advisers to the president-elect questioned whether Mr Kennedy, a vaccine sceptic who has also been the subject of a series of bizarre stories involving animals, would make it through a security check for a cabinet position.

It raises questions about what role, if any, Mr Kennedy would be given in the Fuckface administration, as the Republican’s transition team sets about filling thousands of federal posts for his return to the White House. Mr Kennedy had previously said that Mr Fuckface had “promised” him control of the Department of Health and Human Services and public health agencies like the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

However, there is disquiet in the Fuckface team about media attention on the former independent candidate after he was pressed in a post-election interview with NBC about his vaccine scepticism. Mr Kennedy said that he would seek to fix the “huge deficits” in vaccine safety but clarified: “We’re not going to take vaccines away from anybody.”

According to CNN, a source close to Mr Fuckface said: “That is not what we want people focused on today.”

Mr Kennedy, son of the late attorney general Bobby Kennedy and nephew of president John F Kennedy, has also said he plans to remove fluoride from drinking water. The claim prompted criticism from public health experts, who argued it would undo one of the great public health achievements of the 20th century...
https://www.yahoo.com/news/Fuckface-campaign-quietly-distances-itself-144333855.html

Yeah let’s think about this for a minute. The eradication of polio is the single greatest achievements of humanity the 20th and even the 21st centuries. But now, thanks to social media and the advent of anti-vaxxer bullshit, we could undo that. And putting an anti-vaxxer conspiracy theory nutjob in charge of public health is like giving the alcoholic the keys to the liquor cabinet and telling him to go nuts, then giving him the keys to your car and telling him to make a beer run. On top of that, giving him the directions to the nearest cliff! Literally nothing good will come of this, and that’s probably the point. I mean they are going to sink the United States into third world status if any of their hideous talking points actually come to fruition.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who President-elect Donald J. Fuckface has suggested would have a “big role” in his second administration, wasted no time laying out potential public health measures he would oversee if given the chance.

Mr. Kennedy, an environmental lawyer who has no medical or public health degrees and has promoted anti-vaccine conspiracies for years, told NBC News on Wednesday that he would not “take away anybody’s vaccines,” but that he wanted Americans to be informed with the “best information” available so they “can make individual assessments about whether that product is going to be good for them.”

“People ought to have choice,” he said, adding that he has “never been anti-vaccine.”

Mr. Kennedy has been a prominent critic of the childhood vaccination schedule and has frequently linked some vaccines to autism and other health issues. Studies have long shown no such connection.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/06/us/politics/rfk-jr-Fuckface-health.html?unlocked_article_code=1.YE4.hMMU.S8lV-i0t5YCR&smid=url-share

Seriously, what could possibly go wrong? Well, there is some good news is that we may *FINALLY* be getting some push back with the vaccine issue. Because you know what? Despite what the fearmongering industry may try to sell you – vaccines are very popular. And no, RFK Jr, we don’t want to die from polio or smallpox or any other hideous disease whose eradication was made possible by the use of vaccines. But make no mistake – a lot of people are going to die because of this fucking maniac and the bullshit that he hawks. If you thought COVID was bad? Boy, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Yeah just like the song!

The Supreme Court on Wednesday rejected an attempt by Children's Health Defense, the anti-vaccine group founded by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., to protect doctors being investigated in Washington state for allegedly spreading misinformation about the Covid-19 virus.

The emergency application was denied by Justice Elena Kagan on behalf of the court.

“We hope that one day the Supreme Court will clearly state that the Constitution does not permit the government to sanction the public viewpoint speech of physicians,” Rick Jaffe, a lawyer for the plaintiffs, said.

Kennedy, whom President-elect Donald Fuckface intends to nominate as the secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, was listed as one of the lawyers on the application.

Kennedy's group and other plaintiffs claim that any investigations seeking to sanction doctors for their views on the virus would violate free speech rights under the Constitution's First Amendment.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/supreme-court-rejects-rfk-jr-groups-attempt-protect-anti-covid-vaccine-rcna181061

Yeah seriously, putting that guy in charge of anything? How can you not look at RFK Jr and get anything but escaped mental patient vibes from him? But seriously his views on vaccines and other bullshit nonsense medical “cures” like peptides and no fluoride in the water supply are making even the most hardcore members of Fuckface’s inner circle extremely uncomfortable. So yeah, not only is this whole act part of America’s slide into the abyss, but it’s one of those things where you play stupid games, win stupid prizes. And being anti-vaccine while we’re still on the tail end of a once in a century pandemic of a constantly mutating novel virus, if you still follow Mr. Brain Worm and his bullshit, you may want to take a step back and revaluate your life choices!

Donald Fuckface’s team appeared to be quietly distancing itself from Robert F Kennedy Jr in the immediate aftermath of the election amid speculation that the former presidential candidate could be handed control of US public health agencies. Advisers to the president-elect questioned whether Mr Kennedy, a vaccine sceptic who has also been the subject of a series of bizarre stories involving animals, would make it through a security check for a cabinet position.

It raises questions about what role, if any, Mr Kennedy would be given in the Fuckface administration, as the Republican’s transition team sets about filling thousands of federal posts for his return to the White House. Mr Kennedy had previously said that Mr Fuckface had “promised” him control of the Department of Health and Human Services and public health agencies like the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

However, there is disquiet in the Fuckface team about media attention on the former independent candidate after he was pressed in a post-election interview with NBC about his vaccine scepticism. Mr Kennedy said that he would seek to fix the “huge deficits” in vaccine safety but clarified: “We’re not going to take vaccines away from anybody.”
https://www.yahoo.com/news/Fuckface-campaign-quietly-distances-itself-144333855.html

[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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In the world after the 2024 election, where it’s just one horrifying, shitty news story after horrifying, shitty news story, sometimes it helps to engage in a bit of what the Germans call “schadenfreude”. Of course, I’m talking about the story that broke just as we were going live last week – The Onion has purchased all of the assets of Alex Jones’ venerable Infowars outlet. Yes, Infowars – the site run by noted internet conspiracy theorist and social media troll Alex Jones, who became notorious in 2012 when he and his goons heckled, abused, and doxxed the parents of the murdered children at the hands of a crazed gun man at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut under the guise that America was using the shooting as a false flag in order to take guns away. To which we say – nobody is coming to take your guns away. Needless to say, we all here at the Top 10 Home Office in Santa Ana, California, had an absolutely massive gut laugh now that the last vestige of the internet conspiracy theory stronghold is going under. One down, several hundred more to go!

The Onion CEO Ben Collins confirmed that the publication purchased Alex Jones’s Infowars outlet in a Saturday series of posts on the social media platform Bluesky amid Jones’s claims of wrongdoing and illegal activity.

“I just wanted to give a quick update on The Onion’s purchase of InfoWars, which we can’t wait to relaunch as the dumbest website on the internet,” Collins wrote.

“The long and short of it: We won the auction and — you’re not going to believe this — the previous InfoWars folks aren’t taking it well.”

He shared that The Onion, a satirical news website, won the bid for Infowars on Thursday at Jones’s bankruptcy auction, along with the Connecticut Sandy Hook families of victims. Jones previously said the massacre was a “hoax.”

Jones was held liable for nearly $1.5 billion in damages due to his false claims about the 2012 mass shooting in Newtown, Conn.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/onion-ceo-explains-infowars-purchase-034020701.html?guccounter=1

Of course, like the screaming, petulant child Alex Jones is, don’t think for a minute that this sale is final just yet! Because we can’t have nice things in this country like functioning governments, school boards, or kids being able to attend school without getting shot at, Alex Jones is waging war. Yes, war to prevent his site from getting sold. And of course, while mocking everyone for using attorneys, he’s going to hire… *checks notes* more attorneys. For a party that claims to hate trial lawyers, they sure do love them some trial lawyers, don’t they? Well here’s how this is going to play out, and as you can imagine, things are going to get really ugly, really quickly. As is usually the case with the MAGA conspiracy theory crowd. Seriously, would it kill them just once to admit that they lost or they might be completely wrong about something? No? WTF.

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones accused The Onion and Sandy Hook Elementary School families of "collusive bidding" and asked a bankruptcy court judge to halt the sale of his Infowars platform.

Jones, who defamed the Sandy Hook families by calling the 2012 massacre a hoax and the parents of the 20 first graders actors, called The Onion's winning $1.75 million bid "sheer nonsense" because it's half of what the losing bidder offered.

The Onion began a "systematic effort to confuse Mr. Jones's personal public following with messages espousing gun control in a manner such that Mr Jones's personal public following would be utterly confused and misled," Jones said in an overnight court filing.

His request follows a similar push for an injunction by First United American Companies, which is affiliated with Jones through the sale of dietary supplements.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/alex-jones-asks-judge-halt-sale-infowars-site/story?id=116000992

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Before we go any further, I just want to say two words: Fuck you, Alex Jones! Just… fuck you! I’ll tell you where you can go shove your lawsuit! But like I’ve been saying – MAGA are the people who want to be the cool kids so badly. They’re equal parts “fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me”, and “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Give me that, it’s mine!”. They really do think that the government is their personal plaything. When it’s not a toy. Their actions can have real world consequences! So of course, there’s going to be implications with the sale of Infowars, but Alex Jones, like the screaming child he is, needs to have his toy taken away from him. He is definitely not using it for good.

A losing bidder connected to conspiracy theorist Alex Jones challenged on Monday the Onion's purchase of Jones' Infowars website, saying the parody news site won a rigged bankruptcy auction and offered half as much cash as its bid.

First American United Companies, which is affiliated with Jones' dietary supplements businesses, asked U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Lopez in Houston to disqualify the bid by the Onion and name its own $3.5-million bid as the winner.

Jones was forced to auction his assets, including Infowars, in bankruptcy, after courts ordered him to pay $1.5 billion for defaming the families of 20 students and six staff members killed in the 2012 massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, by making false claims that the shooting was staged.

First American United Companies said in a court filing that a court-appointed bankruptcy trustee mishandled the auction by giving the Onion credit for backing by the families of Sandy Hook shooting victims, whose lawsuits drove Jones into bankruptcy in 2022.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/alex-jones-affiliated-company-challenges-onions-infowars-purchase-2024-11-18/

Oh come on, people! Stop your rabbling! But come on, doesn’t the person who has more money than the other guy usually win the sale? That’s how capitalism works, right? Come on, you guys are supposedly champions of capitalism. But we do have to say that we’re with the CEO of The Onion in that we think it’s hilarious that the once bastion of MAGA politics and conspiracy theories is now part of the world’s biggest satire site. And while Alex Jones may be a spoiled child, he’ll definitely be in for a rude awakening if he sets foot in front of a competent judge. But there’s definitely going to be an uphill battle for the king of fearmongering.

The Onion’s winning bid for Alex Jones ’ Infowars platform is under review by a federal bankruptcy judge after Jones and his lawyers complained about how an auction was conducted.

The satirical news outlet was announced as the winning bidder on Thursday in an auction that is part of Jones’ personal bankruptcy. Hours later, Infowars headquarters in Austin, Texas and its websites were shut down and Jones was broadcasting from a new studio he had set up before the bankruptcy auction. By Friday morning, Infowars and its websites were back up and running for reasons that were not entirely clear.

At a hastily called court hearing in Houston on Thursday, Judge Christopher Lopez ordered another hearing to be held next week. He wants to know what happened with the auction and how the bankruptcy trustee chose The Onion over the only other bidder — a company affiliated with a Jones product-selling website.

A court hearing is typically held after a bankruptcy auction to finalize the winning bids and sales, and to hear any objections, so the process in Jones’ case hasn’t strayed far from the usual — yet.
https://apnews.com/article/alex-jones-infowars-auction-onion-how-d42e7b2c916205b348628686c8b8dd4a

[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone, guess what? We’re all gonna die! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WOOOOOOOO. WOOO. WOO. So what’s going to kill us all this week, you might ask? That’s a good question! You know lost in all of the news this week because of the fallout from the 2024 election from hell, is that there’s a new virus that we have to worry about. Well, a new, old virus anyway. That virus is the strain of the flu that’s known as H5N1, or more commonly known as bird / avian flu. If you remember from the COVID days, this strain of the flu is what’s called a “zoonotic” virus. Meaning that it can jump from animals to humans. And this one has jumped to humans. But now, with more than a few cases popping up and nearly all of them are fatal or close to it, the question of whether or not humanity could return to the lockdowns and masks of 2020 is a real possibility? Well is it? This is one of those stories where we STRONGLY urge you to read past the headlines. Because of these things called, you know, details. But here’s the thing, before you scream that the sky might be falling, we urge you to take a deep breath, remain calm, and pull your heads out of each other’s asses, OK? And actually listen to experts instead of listening to idiots on social media, because we’ve told you time and time again not to listen to them, OK? Stop it already!

Colleagues, it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. Or, for a true reality check, just scan the Department of Agriculture’s frequently-updated map and tables naming the many animals that have tested positive for highly pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI) in the U.S. since May 2022.

Finding influenza A/H5N1 in wild birds and waterfowl and poultry is nothing new, of course. During 2024, however, our country has seen its first-ever multi-state outbreak in dairy cows expressing milk heavily tainted with the virus, as well as illness, deaths, or detections in cats, goats, alpaca, skunks, and house mice, among others. The latest species found to harbor A/H5N1 was a backyard pig in Oregon . Once euthanized, its tissues teeming with virus fueled further unease because pigs are classic mixing vessels in which human and avian flu viruses can recombine and form new, virulent strains.

Now for some less ominous news: the viral strain currently circulating in American dairy cows and poultry has not yet caused serious disease in people. Thus far, based on very limited testing, roughly four dozen A/H5N1 infections almost equally divided between dairy and poultry workers have been mild or even asymptomatic. As a result, CDC continues to state that the risk to the general public is low.
https://www.foodsafetynews.com/2024/11/could-avian-flu-cause-our-next-pandemic/

Yeah OK, you say that now. But imagine what will happen when Mr. Brain Worm himself, RFK Jr, ascends to being in charge of America’s public health and tears down all of the safety nets we have that would prevent the next pandemic? Look, we came dangerously close to living a pandemic nightmare in 2009 with a similar strain of avian flu. And we lived a pandemic nightmare in 2020 with COVID-19, because guess who was in charge? That’s right – Fuckface. And of course he blamed it on everybody but himself, which is what he should be blamed for. But again, right now – there’s nothing to worry about because we already have cures and vaccines that can combat this horrible disease. Well, we’ll see on January 22nd just how much the United States loves vaccines. But is it enough to put a strain on our hospital systems that we need to resort to 2020 tactics? That remains to be seen.

Influenza A viruses are associated with most of the documented global pandemics in human history. High pathogenicity avian influenza (HPAI) viruses belonging to the H5N1 subtype are a leading risk factor for future pandemics. The evolutionary barriers to mammalian adaptation of these viruses are lower than previously thought, as shown by rapid mutation accumulation in key viral proteins.

H5N1 viruses were initially detected only in Asian poultries during the past two decades. However, in recent years, a rapid transmission of these viruses into new mammal species has been observed worldwide, endangering wildlife, agricultural production, and human health.

Such rapid viral transmission started after the emergence of a new genotype of H5N1 viruses belonging to clade 2.3.4.4b, which infected wild birds from Europe to Africa, North America, South America, and the Antarctic. These viruses arose from genomic reassortment between the H5N8 and low-pathogenicity avian influenza (LPAI) viruses, generating new hybrid strains.

The genomic reassortment event between 2.3.4.4b H5N8 and low pathogenicity avian influenza (LPAI) viruses gave rise to the panzootic 2.3.4.4b H5N1 viruses, which are genetically different from prior strains. This reassortment involved the polymerase gene and surface proteins, facilitating rapid adaptation to new environments.
https://www.news-medical.net/news/20240925/H5N1-bird-flu-is-mutating-fast-and-jumping-to-mammals-could-the-next-pandemic-be-here.aspx

No calm down, dude! We’re not going to die yet. Now for those of you who aren’t in public health and don’t know or probably even give a shit, let’s explain what all of this means. Because we’re here to educate as well as entertain! Right now, if you were to use the NYT needle to determine if this were going to happen, the odds are very low, at least for the time being. It all depends on a number of factors and whether or not the virus mutates. Again, if you recall back from the COVID days when everyone in the world became public health experts, you might remember that the virus mutated in such a way that it got us good. Could H5N1 mutate and become easily transmissible? Well, there’s a number of things that could cause it to do that, or not. Remember that it was exactly 100 years between the influenza pandemic and COVID-19. There were other pandemics that happened in between, but nowhere near on the same level.

Avian flu viruses rarely infect humans. The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that from 2003 to April 1, 2024, 23 countries reported a total of 889 human cases of H5N1. The most common symptoms in people, according to the CDC, include eye redness (conjunctivitis), respiratory difficulties, fever, cough, sore throat, and pneumonia.

However, more than half of the worldwide human cases (463) resulted in death. “It is a highly pathogenic strain,” explains Erin M. Sorrell, PhD, MSc, senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security and associate professor at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Maryland. “It has the ability to replicate outside the traditional locations where low-pathogenic influenza does: the intestinal tract for poultry; the upper and lower respiratory tracts in humans. The virus becomes systemic in its infection.”

In the United States, the first known case of transmission to a human occurred in 2022. The CDC says that person, who worked directly with infected poultry, reported mild fatigue and recovered.

The second known case was reported in March 2024, in a dairy farm worker in Texas. The only symptom was conjunctivitis in both eyes, which receded, according to a case assessment by the CDC and Texas health agencies.
https://www.aamc.org/news/how-worried-should-we-be-about-avian-flu-academic-experts-weigh

No we’re not going to die. So here’s what we know right now – right now, it looks like you can only contract it if you work around already infected livestock. Which again, is a result of American agriculturalism, which treats current livestock like shit. So yeah that’s putting it lightly. Of course like most pandemics, it has a chance to be a real threat… or it doesn’t. And like most pandemics, it never hurts to start preparing early. But again, imagine America with Mr. Brain Worm and that guy from TV in charge of public health. It would be an unmitigated disaster. One that could have the potential to get a lot of people killed. And we’re going to see, despite all of the anti-vaccine bullshit that’s currently flying around, how much America loves vaccines.

H5 bird flu, a type of avian influenza, has infected dozens of people in the U.S., and spread to seven states and Canada this year. As more human cases arise, there's deepening worry over whether the virus could lead to another pandemic or lockdown.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention called the situation a "public health challenge" in its latest update.

In California, officials are investigating a possible bird flu case in a child, the state's department of public health announced on Tuesday, Nov. 19.

The young patient, who had no known contact with an infected animal, has had mild respiratory symptoms and is recovering at home in Alameda County, which is in the San Francisco Bay Area.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/bird-flu-leaves-teen-in-critical-condition-could-it-cause-a-lockdown-like-covid/ar-AA1u5rul

[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, we live in extremely dark and troubled times right now. And if the selection of the unholy, ungodly Dark One to lead this ungrateful nation straight to the fiery pits of HELL was shocking, well, I got news for you! You ain’t seen nothing yet. Because the way the religious base who reelected him for a second time will tell you – their god is unequivocally an absolute raging asshole! Because MAGA Christians don’t worship GAWD or JAYSUS, they worship his unholiness himself! I of course speak of a man so foul, so depraved and disgusting that his name DARE NOT be spoken in my church! Even if he’s the leader of the free world now, or what’s left of the free world, I don’t give a fuck! Still, don’t do it or I will cast thee out! Well, I have to say, I am absolutely ashamed of my fellow pastors, because they are celebrating the Dark One’s unfortunate rise to victory the same way that, well, there’s one other kind of person that I would equate with this, and after the first contestant that we bring to the table, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about! But ugh… it just really sucks that we’re in this bizarre timeline right now.

The first Sunday service following the election of Donald Fuckface held at Christian nationalist televangelist Kenneth Copeland's Eagle Mountain International Church was dedicated almost entirely to thanking God for Fuckface's victory.

Copeland has been an ardent Fuckface cultist since 2016, and used Sunday's service to declare that Fuckface's election will now unleash a "spiritual awakening" in America because "the atmosphere has been cleansed."

"No more rainbow flags," Copeland celebrated. "And the spirit of Margaret Sanger is gone."

During the same service, which has been removed by Copeland's church from its YouTube channel, Copeland also declared that anyone who didn't vote for Fuckface will be held accountable by Jesus with a very specific punishment.
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/kenneth-copeland-says-jesus-has-special-punishment-waiting-those-who-didnt-vote

Absolutely he does! And now it looks like the unholy Dark One is going to be worming his way back to the White House in January. Ugh. But yeah, who celebrates with the animosity of an evil psychopath? It’s like when Sideshow Bob got elected as mayor of Springfield and his first speech was an evil laugh. This is how terrorists celebrate their victories, my fair congregation! But here’s why I am comparing this to the people who we once declared war against 20 years ago. It just gets worse the more that you dig into it, and I am not exaggerating. You think Kenneth Copeland’s statement was bad? Again when I say it gets worse, I mean it gets worse. And these are people who apparently support GAWD and JAYSUS. Their GAWD must be a raging asshole.

In an article published Friday in “The Stream,” a religious-right platform founded by televangelist James Robison, senior editor John Zmirak and co-author Jason Jones called for thousands of Fuckface opponents to “pay a brutal price” for what they claimed has been the unjust persecution of Jan. 6, 2021 protesters and “those who reported the facts about the 2020 election”:

Courageous attorneys like Sidney Powell, Rudolph Giuliani and John Eastman — whose careers and finances have been devasted by vicious, incessant lawfare.

Honest election workers such as Tina Peters, who faced vicious prosecution for doing their jobs.

Truthtellers such as Eric Metaxas, Naomi Wolf, Dinesh D’Souza, David Clements, Mike Lindell, Steve Bannon, Peter Navarro, Gen. Mike Flynn, Emerald Robinson, Gregory Stenstrom, Leah Hoopes, and countless others — who faced vindictive lawsuits by billion-dollar corporations, lost jobs and income, boycotts, debanking, and in some cases lawless prosecution by our corrupted institutions.

Jones and Zmirak wrote:

It’s not just that these good people need to get their good names and livelihoods back. Those who persecuted them must pay a brutal price. Thousands in the FBI and DOJ must lose their jobs, be stripped of their pensions, and in some cases face prison terms.
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/religious-right-activists-want-decontaminate-us-make-Fuckface-opponents-pay-brutal

Holy shit! And hey that’s the name of the show! But really when the LIARS of the country are the “truth tellers”, that really says something, doesn’t it? Of course the unholy Dark One himself would champion his minions to go out and lie on his behalf. But really, we can’t help but compare the Dark One’s victory to that of a country run by people like the Taliban or ISIS or Boko Haram. Because that’s exactly what this feels like and that’s exactly what they’re going to turn this into. In fact, look at what the Dark One’s minion Pete Hegseth plans to do with education. This is a guy who has a literal NAZI symbol tattooed on his chest and we’re not supposed to take this seriously? WTF are we doing!

When Orange Fuckface announced his intention to nominate Fox News host Pete Hegseth to serve as Secretary of Defense, concerns were raised immediately about Hegseth's undisguised Christian nationalism.

Hegseth, who has admitted that his multiple crusader tattoos got him "deemed an extremist" by his own National Guard unit, has deep ties to misogynistic Christian nationalist pastor Douglas Wilson.

On Monday, Hegseth appeared on the "CrossPolitic" podcast, which is hosted by Toby Sumpter and Gabe Rench, both of whom are closely tied to Wilson and his church.

During the discussion about Hegseth's book "Battle For The American Mind," Hegseth said that he is working to create a system of "classical Christian schools" to provide the recruits for an underground army that will eventually launch an "educational insurgency" to take over the nation.
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/pete-hegseths-plan-create-christian-nationalist-educational-insurgency

Sure seems like it, my fair congregation! But of course, now that the unholy Dark One has won his election ungratefully, these are the things we have to deal with as the United States begins its’ slide into becoming a religious fascist totalitarian hell hole. However, there has been talk of the unholy Dark One’s pending demise since he is the oldest president in United States history. So what happens then? We’re stuck with his minion, who we will currently refer to as Dark One Mini-Me unless someone has a better nickname for him. If you do have a better nickname, let us know in the comments! But sigh, we may be in this for a very long time and if it seems hopeless, trust us when we say we are right there with you, my fair congregation!

With no meetings, website, or an explicit statement of faith that unifies their beliefs, the TheoBros are not an official organization. They identify with 16th-century French theologian John Calvin, who spawned a rigid and deterministic form of Protestantism. Julie Ingersoll, a University of North Florida religion scholar, traces the current movement back to R.J. Rushdoony, an Armenian American philosopher who popularized the idea of Christian nationalism (and homeschooling) in the early 1970s.

Out of Rushdoony’s movement emerged two camps: the charismatic Christians, now known as the New Apostolic Reformation, and the reformed Protestants, which include the TheoBros. They share the goal of creating a Christian nation, says Ingersoll, but differ on a key point of theology: Adherents of the New Apostolic Reformation believe that God is still speaking directly to people through pastors who have declared themselves apostles and prophets. The TheoBros, meanwhile, believe that God said all he needed to say in the Bible.

Many TheoBros are also proponents of postmillennialism, the idea that believers can hasten Jesus’ return by fighting against the satanic forces of liberal excess. TheoBro Aaron Renn, an Accenture consultant turned Christian pundit, has described our current era as a “negative world,” where Christians are persecuted for their beliefs. Andrew Isker, another Bro, calls it “trashworld.”
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/christian-nationalist-stephen-wolfe-says-our-separation-jd-vance-not-far

Well, since this country has chosen – and it chose wrong, we may be in it for the long haul. Ugh, it gets worse all the time! But fear not, that’s what we are here for! We have to fight his unholiness, the Dark One, at all costs! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Nick Fuentes
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This week’s This Fucking Guy is prolific right wing neo-Nazi podcaster and prolific racist and sexist internet shit poster who’s part of the Fuckface Dude Bro sphere – Nick Fuentes! In case you’re not aware, there are a metric shit ton of male-centric podcasters out there who cater not only to your many lust for blood, but also whatever level of racism and sexism you’re willing to tolerate. There are thousands of these fuckers out there. But some of the more prolific ones include Nick Adams (who we covered here ). There’s also Andrew Tate on the sexist side (who we will cover next week) and the guy who we’re going to cover on the racist side, Nick Fuentes. If you’re unfamiliar with Mr. Fuentes, he’s the GOPer and on-again, off-again Orange Fuckface superfan who gave us the term “GROYPER”. Which is basically an army of internet trolls and if you know someone who does this, I’d suggest finding new friends. And really, while we’re normally against doxing of any kind, really, we cannot understate how truly colossal of a piece of shit Nick Fuentes really is.

Police confirmed that they responded to a call involving white nationalist Nick Fuentes and a woman who appeared to show up at his Illinois home Sunday unannounced after he was doxxed online.

Marla Rose, 57, said in a now-deleted Facebook post that she was about to ring Fuentes’ doorbell when he opened the door, sprayed her with a liquid, took her phone, pushed her down the steps and went back inside. Rose did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

Rose shared a video of the altercation Tuesday on Facebook. In the video, Fuentes opens the door and points what appears to be a spraying device toward the camera. The person holding the camera says, “Oh, my God, what are you doing?” and the camera seems to be knocked over as Fuentes says, “Get the f--- out of here.” Fuentes then grabs the phone, takes it inside the house and appears to lock the door, and the video ends.

The Berwyn Police Department confirmed that it got a call Sunday involving Fuentes and Rose. Deputy Chief Michael Ochsner Jr. said that “at this time, neither party is willing to cooperate with the investigation, so we are unable to take it any further until there is a change to that status.”
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/nick-fuentes-confronted-home-body-choice-refrain-goes-viral-rcna179865

Look people, there’s plenty of reasons to hate Nick Fuentes for. But don’t do this. We’re better than those assholes. We can fight them in many other ways besides actual physical fighting. Now, the fact that a job title with “Neo Nazi Influencer” exists is a sign that something is not just wrong with society, it’s incredibly fucked up as well. But this isn’t the first time Nick Fuentes has said some extremely horrifying shit. Although the “Your Body, My Choice” line, which has been adopted by the white male dude bro sphere may have crossed the line. In fact it crossed multiple lines. But I particularly love this definition of what it means to be a right winger. Like really it couldn’t be more perfect if we had written it, even if we used AI to come up with it! But this is what Nick Fuentes, and I’m sure most of the alpha male dude bro sphere thinks of all this shit going on right now. it’s absolute madness.

It is no secret that white nationalist Nick Fuentes has soured on former President Orange Fuckface since the two dined together at Mar-a-Lago in 2022. Opposed to the Fuckface campaign's positions on Israel and immigration and outraged by Fuckface decision to tap Sen. J.D. Vance as his running mate because Vance's wife is Indian and Hindu, Fuentes threatened to launch a guerilla war that quickly fizzed and died.

While Fuentes, a Hitler–loving racist, misogynistic, antisemitic, homophobic Christian nationalist fascist, is deeply disenchanted with Fuckface, that does not mean that he supports the Democratic nominee, Vice President Kamala Harris. In fact, Fuentes just as vehemently opposes her, though he is starting to think that there might be a bright side to seeing her elected.

During a recent livestream, Fuentes was practically giddy with excitement over the idea that Harris presidency will generate so much hatred among white voters that they'll elect an American Hitler in 2028.

"It would probably be better for us because four years of Kamala would absolutely radicalize the masses," Fuentes said with delight. "If she wins, it'll be by a hair. Nobody will think it's legitimate. Everyone will think Fuckface got cheated."
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/nick-fuentes-hopes-harris-presidency-will-lead-fascist-takeover-2028

Seriously! The white supremacist fascist takeover doesn’t need 4 years, it’s happening now! The hate in this country is too damn powerful! But of course, when a hate-filled batshit crazy religious white supremacist cult is out for absolute power, they frown on things like independent thought and freedom of expression. So what happened when Nick Fuentes went against his own cult’s line of thinking on what could happen after the election? Well, needless to say, he caved. And we couldn’t have been any more surprised. But who knows what any of this shit means, we don’t speak stupid here. And unfortunately we can’t say the adults are in charge anymore because the voters picked Fuckface and his authoritarian goons, so come January, we’re going to be run by Fuckface again. Ugh. But yeah, cults don’t like independent thought it seems.

After two months of inaction, white nationalist Nick Fuentes has surrendered in his supposed "war on Fuckface" without firing a shot.

Fuentes, a Hitler–loving racist, misogynistic, antisemitic, homophobic Christian nationalist fascist, had grown increasingly disenchanted with former President Donald Fuckface since the two dined together at Mar-a-Lago in 2022. Outraged by Fuckface's decision to tap Sen. J.D. Vance as his running mate because Vance's wife is Indian and Hindu, Fuentes became an increasingly vocal critic of Fuckface, particularly regarding the campaign's positions regarding Israel and immigration.

By August, Fuentes had had enough and announced the launch of an operation dubbed "Groyper War II" that would allegedly see Fuentes and his supporters descend on Michigan and other swing states to wage a guerilla war against the Fuckface campaign.

"We will escalate the Groyper War into every swing state in the country, including Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Georgia and Arizona," Fuentes promised. "And we will persist in all of these actions—digital, e-mail, other traditional and non-traditional tactics—in every swing state until the election, which includes telling people to sit this one out and refrain from voting unless or until we see a real change in policy regarding immigration, foreign war, and a change in posture towards the loyal and disloyal personnel that operate inside the Fuckface movement."

As the weeks passed and Fuentes took no discernible steps toward putting any aspect of this plan into action, it became increasingly obvious that, like so many of his threats in the past, "Groyper War II" would amount to very little.
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/nick-fuentes-abjectly-surrenders-his-war-Fuckface

So here’s the thing I love about this – not only are these idiots fighting each other, they can’t seem to understand exactly what their goals are. Come on, even Adolf Hitler had goals. This new batch of neo Nazis doesn’t. And while they’re “celebrating” a very, very undeserved victory for Fuckface, they’ve actively descended into fighting each other. Which I’m all here for. How can you enact an evil, fascist agenda when the goals aren’t clearly defined? Well easy answer – they have no goals! They are completely goalless. So while Fuckface is unfortunately going to worm his way back to the White House and do untold damage, his idiot propagandists like Nick Fuentes and Andrew Tate are going to be in the crosshairs of the MAGA circular firing squad for a very long time. I say grab some popcorn and your favorite beverage and enjoy the show!

Earlier this year, Hitler-loving racist, misogynistic, antisemitic, homophobic Christian nationalist fascist Nick Fuentes warned former President Orange Fuckface not to pick Sen. J.D. Vance as his running mate in the 2024 presidential election because, said Fuentes, Vance is a race traitor who has "a non-white wife" and "a mixed-up family."

Fuckface, who dined with Fuentes at his Mar-a-Lago club in 2022, ignored Fuentes' advice and named Vance as his pick on the first day of the Republican National Convention earlier this week.

On Monday night, after watching the first day of the RNC, Fuentes renewed his attack on Vance and his wife Usha, who is Indian and Hindu. Fuentes blasted Vance as someone who clearly "doesn't value his racial identity" if he's willing to marry somebody "that far outside your race who isn't even a Christian."

"Who's gonna take over after Fuckface? J.D. Vance with his Indian wife," griped Fuentes. "Look, I'm not a racist guy so I'm not saying, like, ignorantly, 'Oh, you have an Indian wife. Eff U.' I'm saying, what kind of values does a man have to marry somebody that far outside your race, who isn't even a Christian?"
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/post/nick-fuentes-slams-j-d-vance-for-having-a-non-white-non-christian-wife

That’s white supremacist neo Nazi podcaster and king GROYPER extraordinaire Nick Fuentes, this week’s:

[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts, after all! This week, since the election, two social media powers may be in talks of a merger, and both are considered safe havens for right wing shit posters, neo Nazis, and anti-vaccine, anti-science quackery. I’m of course talking about Elon Musk’s X/Twitter (aka Xitter) and Orange Fuckface’s social media hidey-hole Truth Social. Since of course, Elon has become the annoying house guest who won’t leave Mar-A-Shithole, the new and improved Fuckface 2.0 administration is going to usurp Twitter/X and make it an official state run media site. Yeah the United States is going full third world dictator, and we may have to strap in for the long haul.

As the bromance between President-elect Orange Fuckface and Elon Musk continues, some now believe that a merger could be in the works between their respective social media platforms, Truth Social and X.

“I would suspect he would try to merge Truth Social” with X, tech journalist Kara Swisher said on CNN last week.

“They could merge them and make it a meme stock and make a lot of money for themselves. That could be interesting and incredibly corrupt,” she added.

New York University professor Scott Galloway said on the podcast Pivot last Friday that a merger could be a way “to funnel billions of dollars from Musk to Orange Fuckface, legally, as far as I can tell.”

The former president is the majority shareholder of the Fuckface Media & Technology Group – the parent company of Truth Social while Musk owns X, formerly known as Twitter.
https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-Fuckface-elon-musk-truth-social-x-b2647840.html

It would only make sense – presidents and Congress people are required to give up their assets when they are sworn into office. But eh.. when has it ever stopped Fuckface from following the rules? But the idea of making this unholy alliance a “meme stock” is both incredibly cringy and super corrupt. And again – when has that ever stopped them before? But of course this is what happens when you peddle “the big lie” that he has for the last 4 years. Make no mistake the Truth Social is a literal spite store – yes the kind started by Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Fuckface started this site to spite that he was banned from Xitter. Because he and his cult are truly incapable of shutting the fuck up. But here’s why this could be a problem for Fuckface.

Fuckface created Truth Social in early 2022 after he was banned from other social media platforms, notably Twitter, for violating its rules following the January 6, 2021, U.S. Capitol riot and "due to the risk of further incitement of violence."

Fuckface and many Republicans maintained claims that the 2020 election was stolen via widespread voter fraud, despite this claim being rejected repeatedly in court and by independent election experts. On January 6, thousands of Fuckface supporters stormed the Capitol building in an attempt to stop the certification of Joe Biden's victory, triggering violence in the process, which led to one person being shot dead by police and the injuries of dozens of officers.

Fuckface has since been allowed back on what is now known as X, but he most often posts on Truth Social. The platform prides itself on protecting free speech and having less moderation and restrictions than other mainstream platforms.

"They [Fuckface and Musk] could merge them and make it a meme stock and make a lot of money for themselves. That could be interesting and incredibly corrupt," Swisher added during her CNN appearance on Wednesday.
https://www.newsweek.com/will-truth-social-merge-elon-musks-x-rumors-swirl-1982993

But here’s the plot twist that no one saw coming – apparently Fuckface’s DJT Media is now worth more than Musk’s Xitter platform. Shocker! We all both knew and saw coming that Musk’s acquisition of Xitter in 2022 was going to be a disaster. And also a disappointment. Make no mistake that it was a deliberate political hit job. So what happens when two shit postiing sites merge together to form a super shit posting site? Well, shit multiplied by shit is still shit. So if Truth Social is worth more than Xitter at this point, does this mean the X/Twitter brand will dissolve and become part of DJT Group? If so that would cause a massive amount of people to jump ship.

Fuckface Media & Technology Group, which operates the Truth Social social-media network, has seen its stock soar in the weeks leading up to the Nov. 5 presidential election — and it is currently worth more than Elon Musk‘s X, the social-media company formerly known as Twitter.

On Monday, shares of TMTG, which trade under the symbol “DJT,” finished the day up 21.6% to $47.36/share in regular trading. The latest surge followed Fuckface’s Sunday rally at New York City’s Madison Square Garden. That gives TMTG, which has reported total revenue of $1.6 million for the first half of 2024 and steep losses, a market capitalization of approximately $9.48 billion.

Musk, who acquired Twitter in 2022 in a $44 billion deal, has seen the value of the company — which he renamed X — decline significantly since his takeover. A disclosure last month by Fidelity, which owns a minority stake in X, implied that the investment firm values the company at $9.4 billion, as reported by CNN (although the report noted that “other investors could value X differently”).

Fuckface beneficially owns 56.6% of TMTG’s outstanding shares, making his stake currently worth north of $5.3 billion.
https://variety.com/2024/digital/news/Fuckface-media-djt-stock-value-elon-musk-x-1236192435/

But the question on the table is – could a merger between these two right wing conspiracy theory havens actually happen? Fuckface apparently asked Musk – now his personal helper monkey – if he was interested in buying DJT Media. And while Musk said no, there is now a very real realm of possibility that it could happen. Could it? Or is it just wild speculation at this point? Well we’d say that it’s a little column A, little column B. But until then, right wing conspiracy theorists have multiple social media outlets to choose from in order to barf their brains. So yeah, imagine a content moderation less version of X, which is exactly what it would become. You can’t do it, can you? Well, we’ll definitely keep an eye on this story as it develops.

The former president is the majority shareholder of the Fuckface Media & Technology Group – the parent company of Truth Social while Musk owns X, formerly known as Twitter.

While the sites technically operate in the same microblogging sphere, that doesn’t seem to have stopped the two men from forming a political partnership.

The director of the Center for Communication and Public Policy at Northwestern University, Erik Nisbet, told Fortune that “X’s content has moved closer to Truth Social, since Musk took over.”

“His philosophy of free speech is much closer to that of Truth Social,” he added.

Part of that philosophy is loose moderation efforts and promoting themselves as “free speech” platforms looking to attract conservative audiences.
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/could-an-x-and-truth-social-merger-be-in-the-works-why-some-believe-the-musk-Fuckface-partnership-could-go-beyond-politics/ar-AA1u9HlH

[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone! I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!

So of course, you know the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we’re drinking, we talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Because I don’t if you’ve noticed or not, but there’s some really dark shit in the news right now, and this is our first one since the election. No, no politics at the bar! Only rules we got in this bar – no fighting, no cussing, and no politics! Some mild swearing is allowed, but only if it’s not at someone. And my sober brothers and sisters, don’t worry – we got you covered too! Just grab a glass of your favorite coffee, tea or energy drink and come get wired with us! Well this week, we’ve got an extremely bizarre story coming out of Disneyland, and we can’t wait to tell you about it! Of course, we’re based in California – Disneyland is right up the freeway from our Santa Ana headquarters. So we do have an interest in this! So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a story about spreading a loved one’s ashes? The dead person martini? What’s in that? Do I even want to know what’s in it? Oh god! Hard pass! I’ll just stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack! So the story goes like this – Disney mega star Ariana Grande and her mother were on a podcast to promote her appearance in the upcoming Wicked movie, and her mother had an absolutely bizarre last request for what she wants to do when she passes on, and we’ve come to find out that the Mouse House has some very interesting rules regarding this sort of thing!

As somebody who gets to visit Disneyland and Disney World on a somewhat regular basis, it doesn’t matter how often I am there, I never want to leave. Many people in my position have considered taking up permanent residence in a Disney theme park by trying to get their ashes spread inside the parks, and Ariana Grande’s mother is apparently one who seriously wants to make it happen.

The soon-to-be Glinda in the upcoming Wicked movie recently appeared on the Ive…Been Through podcast when the topic turned to Walt Disney World. Grande knows the resort well as does her family. She told the hosts that her mother legitimately wants her ashes sprinkled over Cinderella Castle, and is serious enough about it that the topic has apparently come up more than once. Grande said…

My mom tells us too often that she wants her ashes sprinkled over [Cinderella’s Castle]. And I’m like ‘Mom, it’s Christmas do we have to talk about this right now?”And she’s like ‘Yeah, you have to make sure that that happens.’ And I’m like ‘I don’t want to make sure that that happens.

While I completely understand where Ariana Grande’s mom is coming from, I also understand what Ariana is saying, because being the person who tries to sprinkle ashes inside a Disney Park is tough because Disney really doesn’t want you to do that.

A lot of people have wanted to have their ashes sprinkled inside a Disney park. The Haunted Mansion is a particularly popular location, for obvious reasons, as is the water of Pirates of the Caribbean. Somebody even reportedly dumped human remains on Rise of the Resistance. It happens often enough there's a term for it. It's called a HEPA cleanup because the custodial crew needs a specialized vacuum with a HEPA filter to pick up the debris.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/travel/ariana-grande-says-her-mom-wants-to-spread-her-ashes-at-walt-disney-world-but-there-s-one-pretty-major-problem/ar-AA1tIteC?apiversion=v2&noservercache=1&domshim=1&renderwebcomponents=1&wcseo=1&batchservertelemetry=1&noservertelemetry=1

Shots! Shots! Shot shot shot shot shot shots! OK, look, I have to confess to my fair audience, that when I die, I sure as shit don’t want my final resting place to be the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride, does everybody at the bar get that? Good! But apparently there’s more to this story than meets the eye, because we did some digging and went down the wormhole on this subject. Apparently the Haunted Mansion is the most popular ride at both Disneyland Anaheim and Disney World Orlando to spread your loved one’s ashes. In fact, if you currently ride on those rides, you might actually be inhaling the ashes of the deceased while you are riding the ride! And no, we are not fucking kidding about this one.

It sounds like such a good idea: Leave a tiny piece of a person you loved in a place they felt happiest. But the reality is much different. In fact, there’s really no way spreading someone’s ashes at Disneyland ends well for anyone. But people do it, a lot more than you’d think, and the result is absolutely horrifying.

To see this for yourself, all you need to do is view the post on X (formerly Twitter) that went viral on March 17. “Someone spread some ashes on Rise of the Resistance at Disneyland last night according to Reddit,” @dizchris posted. “Don't do this, folks.”

In the photo, which has been deleted from Reddit but remains on X, a gray, ashy substance is scattered on the floor of Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance. Ride cars have clearly gone through the substance, sweeping it all over the floor and leaving tracks. It’s not clear whether these are actually human remains, and Disneyland declined to confirm or comment for this article.

Human cremated remains are considered a biohazard, and require an intensive level of cleanup with special equipment that will shut down rides for extended periods (not to mention it’s a terrible way for a loved one’s ashes to be treated).

The Wall Street Journal reported in 2018 that when someone spreads ashes at the park, it’s called a “HEPA cleanup.” The article said incidents involving suspected human remains reportedly happened monthly. Cast members who spoke to the newspaper even said they coined their own informal term for those incidents — “Code Grandma” — but that term definitely wasn’t encouraged or allowed by Disney itself.
https://www.sfgate.com/disneyland/article/spreading-ashes-shuts-down-disney-rides-19362025.php

Yeah that’s right! It’s such a rampant problem at Disney parks – and it’s not just here in the United States, it includes Japan, China, and France – that Disney theme park cleanup crews have a fucking nickname for it! If you hear that a ride is shut down because of “Code Grandma”, that’s exactly what you think it means, and it’s every bit as horrifying as it sounds! Please, people, there’s far more dignifying ways of what to do with your loved ones when they pass. Dumping them off at the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride definitely isn’t one of them! Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Gotta love our graphics department! So Ariana Grande’s mom might want to rethink this position, because it’s not just something that shouldn’t be done under any circumstances, it’s a literal fucking biohazard on top of that!

Ariana Grande is revealing an unusual request from her Disney-loving mom, Joan.

The Wicked star, 31, got candid about one of her mother's biggest wishes while appearing on the Las Culturistas podcast, hosted by Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers, on Wednesday, Nov. 6.

As the trio discuss landmark attractions at Disneyland and Disney World, Grande then shares how her mom repeatedly tells her and her brother Frankie Grande that they have to spread her ashes at the Florida theme park.

“When it comes to Florida. When it comes to the Disney in Florida,” Grande begins, “first of all, we get Cinderella’s Castle. Which is, you know, also a landmark.”

Unfortunately, the Grammy winner’s mom’s wish will never be fulfilled as it’s illegal to spread a loved one’s ashes at Disney theme parks.

According to a 2018 report from the Wall Street Journal, a Disney rep confirmed that the act of dispersing ashes at any of the parks is “strictly prohibited and unlawful. Guests who attempt to do so will be escorted off the property.”
https://people.com/ariana-grande-mom-ashes-spread-at-cinderella-castle-disney-world-no-human-remains-rule-ban-8740979

Dude, even Steve Harvey’s getting drunk! Come on, join us! And come on, when has something being illegal ever stopped anyone before? And no, I won’t mention *THAT* guy because again, it would break our primary rule of no politics at the bar! But, again, we cannot emphasize this enough – do *NOT* spread your loved one’s ashes at Disneyland or Disneyworld. You don’t want Code Grandma to come out under any circumstances. Well, one star recently admitted that she did this. Yes, EGOT recipient Whoopi Goldberg recently revealed that she spread her mother’s ashes on the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disneyland Anaheim. And yes, again, we cannot stress this enough – don’t do this. And Ariana Grande’s mom should rethink her position to be Code Grandma.

“The View” star Whoopi Goldberg revealed that she scattered her mom’s ashes at Disneyland in a new interview on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”

“No one should do this,” Goldberg cautioned. “Don’t do it.”

She explained that her mother, who died in 2010, was a huge fan of the Disney theme park and the It’s a Small World (After All) ride. Goldberg brought her mom’s ashes on the ride, periodically “scoop(ing) some of her up” and faking giant sneezes to spread the remains.

“And I’d say, ‘My god, this cold is getting worse and worse,’” Whoopi said.

The EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony)-winning actress and TV personality, who was named a “Disney Legend” in 2017, told Seth Meyers she also did the fake sneezing trick by flower beds near the entrance. She later admitted to Disney staff that she did make the happiest place on earth her mother’s final resting place, but she’s not the only one.

The Wall Street Journal reported in 2018 that Disneyland and Disney World typically clean up ashes once a month. Theme park visitors will be told a ride has to shut down due to “technical difficulties,” but it’s actually for custodial staff doing a HEPA cleanup, using an ultra fine vacuum cleaner to suck up the ashes, according to E! News.
https://www.syracuse.com/celebrity-news/2024/07/tv-star-says-she-scattered-moms-ashes-on-disneyland-ride-buzz.html

[font size="8"] Road To The Shithouse
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Welcome back to our segment where we’re lumping all of the post-election coverage in our new segment: Road To The White… er, Shit House! Yes, since Fuckface unfortunately stole the presidency… again… which proves that we can’t have nice things in the United States, we figured that the 2024 election was more of a brown wave. Because we fully expect Fuckface and his goons to take an absolutely massive shit on Washington DC and everything that makes the USA, well, the USA. Like how are they going to use the military to carry out this bizarre mass deportation plan when they cut the Department Of Defense? Well, we’ll find out in January. But speaking of January, I want to talk about what exactly is going to happen with a key demographic of Fuckface supporters: the January 6th rioters and now prisoners, who Fuckface has repeatedly said he is going to issue a blanket pardon for. You know, January 7th should have been the fucking end of Fuckface’s political career but he’s protected by a well-funded and extremely hostile propaganda network. So what could happen if Fuckface decides to blanket pardon the J6 rioters? Well it’s not as easy as it sounds and could be a potential legal headache for judges across the country. Not that he cares.

A federal judge who was nominated by Donald Trump says it would be “beyond frustrating and disappointing” if the president-elect hands out mass pardons to rioters who stormed the U.S. Capitol after the 2020 election, a rare instance of judicial commentary on a politically divisive subject.

U.S. District Judge Carl Nichols, who was appointed to the bench in June 2019, expressed his criticism during a hearing Tuesday at which he agreed to postpone a Capitol riot defendant’s trial until after Trump returns to the White House in January. During his campaign for a second term as president, Trump repeatedly referred to Jan. 6 rioters as “hostages” and “patriots” and said he “absolutely” would pardon rioters who assaulted police “if they’re innocent.”

Trump has suggested he would consider pardoning former Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio, who was sentenced to 22 years in prison after a jury convicted him of orchestrating a violent plot to keep Trump in power after the 2020 election. “Blanket pardons for all January 6 defendants or anything close would be beyond frustrating and disappointing, but that’s not my call,” Nichols said, according to a transcript. “And the possibility of some pardons, at least, is a very real thing.”

Nichols is one of over 20 judges who have presided over more than 1,500 cases against people charged in a mob’s attack on the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021. Many Capitol riot defendants have asked for post-election delays in their cases, but judges largely have denied their requests and forged ahead with sentencings, guilty pleas and other hearings.

Read more: https://apnews.com/article/capitol-riot-trump-pardons-judge-carl-nichols-17d0d2587ee5635218428c2eaafad821

That’s what you said last time, dipshit! And come on, you really think Fuckface cares about the J6 prisoners? They’re basically just useful idiots to him. A presidential pardon isn’t exactly a “get out of jail free card” as many would have you believe it is. Look at one of Fuckface’s personal helper monkeys – Steve Bannon. He got pardoned… for one crime. That doesn’t excuse the 5,000 other crimes that he committed. Of which he served time for one, got out of prison, and may be going back to prison for yet another crime which he’s due to be sentenced in December! So it’s not as easy as Fuckface would have you believe. So could the J6 felons be pardoned? Well that entirely depends on who you talk to, and the answers can vary depending on what your sources are.

lf Donald Trump follows through on his promise to pardon people who participated in the January 6 riot at the US Capitol, attorneys and lawmakers who oppose such moves would not be able to stop him, according to legal experts.

If Trump does issue the pardons, it could indicate to many of his supporters that there was nothing illegal about the riot to prevent the peaceful transfer of power, and would undermine the US constitution, the experts said.

“It gives the message that Trump decides what is and is not actionable under the criminal laws of the United States,” said Kimberly Wehle, a professor at the University of Baltimore School of Law who has studied constitutional law and the separation of powers.

Trump, who has not conceded that he lost the 2020 presidential election, described the insurrection as a “day of love” and calls the rioters “unbelievable patriots”. Those people, however, damaged the Capitol; injured about 140 police officers – four officers who responded have also since died by suicide – and the FBI declared it an act of “domestic terrorism”.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/nov/17/trump-pardon-january-6-rioters

Again, people. Do you know Fuckface? Have you *EVER* especially at this point expected him to do the right and ethical thing? Hell no. He spits in the face of ethics and his fans love him for that. Also, seriously, Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary! The other question on the table – have you EVER in the last 10 years, EVER expected Fuckface to keep any promises? Well, since they went on for years being anti-establishment, they are now *THE* establishment, with a solid majority and one party rule. So would the J6 rioters be pardoned under those circumstances? Well the answer of course right now is maybe. But we are entering uncharted territory here.

Out of all of Donald Trump’s supporters, Derrick Evans has a particular reason to be happy with November’s election results – he hopes the president-elect will give him a pardon for participating in riot at the US Capitol on 6 January 2021.

“A pardon will be life changing,” said Evans, who was a member of the West Virginia legislature when he and at least 2,000 others stormed Congress. It was part of an effort to overturn the results of the US election, inspired by the false belief that it was Trump, not President Joe Biden, who had won.

He reached an agreement with prosecutors which saw him plead guilty to civil disorder and spent three months in federal prison in 2022. On the campaign trail, Trump repeatedly said he would pardon the rioters, whom he has called “patriots” and “political prisoners”. But who exactly might be pardoned - and when - is still an open question.

“I believe he's a man of his word,” Evans told the BBC.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cj0jen70m88o

When has Fuckface ever been a man of his word? Oh and if you’re currently on trial for committing a crime, just casually name dropping him isn’t going to get you out of jail free. Instead, depending on who your judge is, it may have the opposite effect! But really, when has name dropping ever been an issue for anybody? Just ask anyone who’s tried to get into the hottest LA night clubs. No, you don’t know Matt Damon. Get to the back of the line! You probably also don’t have Snoop Dogg’s phone number on speed dial, either. So yes, if you’re on trial for anything, literally do not do this. Or it will come back to bite you in the ass, hard. In fact we’d be really surprised here if the judge didn’t laugh in your face on your way out the door. At the very least, you might get an audition spot on Fox News, at the 10:00 AM Fox & Friends hour, but that would be about it.

An accused Jan. 6 rioter from Florida who allegedly harbored a member of the Proud Boys extremist group while they were on the run from police has tried — and failed — to get the Donald Trump treatment this week, unsuccessfully filing to postpone his federal trial after claiming a “high member” of the future president’s administration had promised him a pardon.

“The undersigned has spoken with a high member of the future Trump Administration and the future pardon of Thomas Osborne is almost a certainty,” wrote attorney Jeffrey G. Brown in a Nov. 17 court filing, which came after prosecutors objected to pushing back Osborne’s case earlier this month.

U.S. District Judge Amit Mehta, a Barack Obama appointee, slapped down the accused rioter’s Nov. 11 motion on Monday to stay or continue his trial, saying Osborne “has failed to demonstrate” that he meets the legal requirements for such relief.

“This matter has been pending since February 21, 2024,” the judge noted. “The public has strong interest in the prompt adjudication of this matter, and Defendant’s speculation that he may receive a pardon cannot overcome the strength of that interest.”
https://lawandcrime.com/high-profile/pardon-is-almost-a-certainty-lawyer-tries-to-name-drop-trump-get-out-of-jail-free-card-in-failed-bid-to-delay-jan-6-defendants-case/

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Bastille[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest has a great new album called “& (Ampersand)”! You can see them playing a pair of shows this weekend in LA at the United Theater On Broadway, and through December 15th. Playing their song “Blue Sky & The Painter”, give it up for Bastille!

Thank you New Jersey! Man this was fun! We’ll be back soon! We are off next week for Thanksgiving, we’ll be back on Thursday, Dec. 5th with a brand new edition! Holy shit, it’s December, already?

See you in two weeks!

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