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Zorro

(16,888 posts)
Wed Jan 29, 2025, 05:24 PM Jan 29

Worm Warns Senate He Has Eaten 90 Percent of RFK Jr.'s Brain

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what some are calling the most alarming testimony ever heard in the United States Senate, on Wednesday a worm who feasted on Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s brain for over twenty years urged senators not to confirm the Health and Human Services nominee.

“I have eaten over 90 percent of Bobby Kennedy’s brain,” the worm testified. “That leaves only 10 percent—which, by the way, is a math problem Bobby is incapable of solving.”

Although Democrats said that the testimony disqualified Kennedy, Republicans were quick to disparage the worm as a disgruntled invertebrate.

Sen. Tommy Tuberville told reporters that he intended to vote for Kennedy, explaining, “He still has more brains than I got.”

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/worm-warns-senate-he-has-eaten-90

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Worm Warns Senate He Has Eaten 90 Percent of RFK Jr.'s Brain (Original Post) Zorro Jan 29 OP
Love that Tuberville line! nt spooky3 Jan 29 #1
Maybe the worm should be the next HHS Secretary. Dulcinea Jan 29 #2

Dulcinea

(7,871 posts)
2. Maybe the worm should be the next HHS Secretary.
Wed Jan 29, 2025, 05:33 PM
Jan 29

Probably smarter than Bobby, & less crazy.

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