Quite Brilliant:

[kpete]

https://www.facebook.com/melvinder.singh1/posts/10156124387697845

[treestar]

1. Wow!

Why is there a need to tell a woman she is "pretty?" It's usually quite obvious and probably she already knows.

[PJMcK]

2. Wait a minute!

The character "Me" is a man, right?

[kag]

10. Yes. n/t

[MineralMan]

3. Wonderful!

"Cute" would work, too.

[marble falls]

4. A perfect nutshell, as in wrapped up in a.

[TeamPooka]

5. Then tell him to "smile" at the end of it. nt

[narnian60]

22. Exactly.

[mountain grammy]

6. I get the gist of this

But can we still tell someone they look nice, or good, or like you’ve lost weight. I do it all the time when I see someone I know.. really, where are the boundaries?

I kind of like being complimented when I’ve taken some time to look good..at 70, I feel invisible but wasn’t always.

[Irish_Dem]

11. A male friend of mine got written up for telling a co-worker she looked good since she

lost weight and he liked her outfit.

I told him personal comments about female co-workers are out of place on the job.
If it is a social situation that might be different. But he should keep his thoughts to himself from now on.

[mountain grammy]

13. I think its a sad world when

We can’t say something nice to someone. If it’s said with a sexual innuendo its out of line but a compliment is often just that.
Maybe I should just stay out of this.

[Irish_Dem]

14. Times have changed grammy.

Young women don't know if these comments are harmless or have strings or hidden agendas attached, especially coming from older married men. It makes them uncomfortable.

[mountain grammy]

17. Yeah, I know

Spent over 40 years out there and sexism and harassment were rampant. I’m sure that’s still the case. But not everyone‘s a creep, thank goodness.

Good thing I’m 70 and out of it. Invisible.

[Irish_Dem]

18. Yes same here.

When we were young it was rampant. High time that things are finally changing.
The point is, hard to tell at first who is a good guy and who is a creep.
And young women should not have to try and figure it out on the job.

[mountain grammy]

19. True that..

[Mariana]

15. We can say something nice to someone.

If we're at work, it's certainly appropriate to say something that's both complimentary and relevant to the job. But is it really necessary to comment on the appearance of someone while we're on the clock? Why can't it wait until later?

[SleeplessinSoCal]

7. "Michelle Wolf - Nice Lady" on HBO is a must-see for feminists of all genders.

[Ferrets are Cool]

8. Well, when the day comes when I cant tell someone that they

look "nice today", I may as well just fucking die.

[Mariana]

16. Say it, by all means.

To your partner, your close friends and your intimate acquaintances. Say it to people whom you know will appreciate it.

[Irish_Dem]

20. Exactly, just don't say it to random women and or co-workers.

I think the transition to a harassment free society is not an easy one.

You put it in very good terms.

[RandomAccess]

9. Here's another, even more pointed

[Egnever]

12. Yea neither of these work.

the first one the guy is disturbed by it because he is homophobic and the second one says it is because it is his first time.

IMHO Men that are afraid to compliment other men are afraid of how they will be perceived when they do it...Is he gay?

And men who are afraid because someone compliments them is again a case of homophobia. Would the second story work the same if it was a woman complimenting a man?

When we can't even genuinely compliment people we are losing something in our society in my opinion. Of course there is a wide variance between Nice hat and woot sexy legs babe!

None of this stuff fits into nice little black and white packages and that is why Zero tolerance does not work.

[Irish_Dem]

21. Wow, had never thought of it that way. Spot on.

"Homophobia towards gay men is rooted in the fear that another man will treat you like you treat women."