I Know who Broke into my Car

[NJCher]

I was going out to dinner with a friend and went out to check my car to be sure it was clean for my guest.

When I opened the passenger door, the front seat was full of crumbs. Flaky crumbs.

I was mystified, but then I remembered that I had bought a large container of croissants--2 dozen. I'd taken my other groceries into the house and intended to return for the last bag, which contained the plastic container of croissants. I forgot to go back out, however.

I had left the top 2 inches of the driver and passenger seat windows open for ventilation.

I picked up the bag and looked inside. The hard-to-open plastic container had been opened, actually fairly neatly. How did the criminal do this!? I hate those containers because it's such a task to get them open. The thief had done so quite deftly.

But what amazes me is how they got in the mere two inches of the window. But they did: I could see their muddy little pawprints all around my white vehicle.

There were three lousy croissants left at the bottom of the bag. Disgusted, I threw the whole thing in the trash. Twenty-one croissants in one evening--what a feast the thieves had!

I knew immediately who did it: raccoons, those shifty little devils. And quite possibly, a band of baby raccoons.



Even though it cost me a container of croissants, it's almost worth it for the laugh.

[Bayard]

1. How do you know?

They were wearing masks!

[Figarosmom]

2. Ha...nt

[Ocelot II]

3. Raccoons are assholes.

[OAITW r.2.0]

4. There was a YT video guy, a few years back, that fed Raccoons, hotdogs, by the hundred weight.

Don't know if he's still making videos or if he became a meal....

[duncang]

5. On a Scout camp out

In Aransas Pass Texas. We came back to the camp. One ice chest didn’t get tied good enough. But was under the picnic table seat with the others. It couldn’t be opened all the way. A raccoon got the knot undone and was reaching in the chest and tossing stuff out to the other raccoons and the javelinas. Yes, they will work in teams.

[NJCher]

6. That picture

Of the raccoon reaching in the chest and tossing items out to the others is so comical.

Raccoons are characters in addition to being assholes!

[Phentex]

13. My adult kids still talk about the time raccoons stole our breakfast

it was food for the last day of camping. They managed to quietly remove the pots and cast iron skillet from atop the cooler, take the bacon and eggs and leave without us hearing anything. The only thing around was a gas station convenience store so we let the kids pick out junky packaged donuts/snoballs and they thought it was the greatest day of their lives!

[electric_blue68]

14. Awww. Such crafty critters!

[Mr.Bill]

7. Sorry to hear about your misfortune,

but count your lucky stars the racoons didn't rip your interior to shreds. As the former owner of an upholstery shop I've seen the damage they can do.

[StarryNite]

8. But they are sooo cute!

And the croissants were sooo tempting.

[HeartsCanHope]

9. Funniest thing I ever saw was a raccoon who tried to escape after raiding our birdfeeders!

She saw me coming out to refill the feeders and sprinted for the back fence. She opted to go through the fence rather than over the top, maybe 3-4 inch gap between boards. Mama raccoon, (who was a frequent visitor,) had over-indulged and her round belly got in the way of her quick exit. So there she was, pumping her back legs trying to fit through the gap. Thought she wasn't going to make it and trying to figure out who I could call to help me get her free, but she finally managed to squeeze her belly through! I wish I had my phone with me. I would have won America's Funniest Home Videos top prize!
Sorry your croissants got eaten, NJ Cher, but what a story! Thanks!

[Xolodno]

10. Someone broke into our family vacation home....

Nothing was missing. Just some broken glass on the side door. Of course, there was nothing valuable to steal. An old, PlayStation, Nintendo, and a TV Westinghouse that was 36 inches that we purchased from Walmart. Place is almost always under threat from wild fire, have to be crazy to keep anything of value there.

Anything else would require a lot of work to move and cause people to notice and even then, its not that valuable. Who is going to steal a re-upholstered couch from the 1970's?

Friend of mine had the same situation at their beach house, nothing stolen, except about $100 dollars for on demand porn vids. Which were reversed. They were confused a bit however, why put a cup of noodles in the oven when there is a full functioning microwave next to it?

[TommieMommy]

11. Those cute little thieves

I have a small raccoon who cleans up whatever bird seed is left and finishes up the left over cat food. He also gets into my neighbor's trash cans. Trash bandit just trying to survive.

[True Dough]

12. Our compost bin was targeted by a raccoon

earlier this summer. He/she got what they were looking for.

On go some bungee cords. He/she returned. Succeeded again!

Now the compost bin goes inside our big wooden garbage bin. No more access.

[XanaDUer2]

15. A racoon chewed thru the 2nd story screen

To the balcony and ripped open two bags of charcoal. Came back. Charcoal!