So a man comes home

[kairos12]

says hello to his wife.

She says, “you said you would never drink again and I smell beer on your breath.”

He replies, “no I haven’t been drinking. I’ve been eating frog legs, and what you smell are the hops.”

[Uncle Joe]

1. What do you get if you mix a pit bull with Lassie?

A dog that will rip your arm off and then go for help.

I remember hearing that joke from Johnny Carson, it's one of the few jokes than I've remembered over the years.

Thanks for the thread kairos.

[kairos12]

2. LOL!

[chouchou]

3. Warning. A Blonde joke from a woman...

A wealthy blonde lady got sick and tired of making fun, regarding blondes so, she gathered 20,000 blondes together, rented a huge stadium and found one of the smarter blondes. The questioner was a man.

Man: Hi! How much is seven times seven? The blonde said: 77?
Man...ah no. The crowd yelled, "Give her one more chance" "Give her one more chance"
Man: OK What is 4 times 6? Blonde said 46. The crowd yelled, "Give her one more chance" "Give her one more chance"
Man: well ..one more.. what is 2 times 2 Blonde said 4 ! The crowd yelled, "Give her one more chance" "Give her one more chance"

[XanaDUer2]

4. Kick