Question (mostly) for DU's women

[Orrex]

Scenario:

You're walking on a sidewalk in a residential neighborhood. You notice a man walking toward you on the same side of the street, maybe 80 feet ahead of you. He crosses the street and continues walking past you without saying anything, then stays on that side of the street as you both go on your respective ways.

What do you think in this moment?

Do you more or less ignore it? Maybe that was his route all along?
Do you think that he crossed the street to avoid making you uncomfortable? Does this, in itself, cause concern?
Do you think that he might have crossed as part of some unwholesome purpose, perhaps to double back & follow?
Something else?

If I see a woman approaching, I cross the street in hope of sparing her any "what's this strange guy up to?" But I'm wondering if there's a better strategy?

[Ocelot II]

1. In the absence of any other behaviors, I would just assume he crossed the street

because he was going somewhere closer to that side of the street. Men used to creep me out if they seemed to be following me or watching me, but now that I'm old, men don't look at me at all.

[hlthe2b]

2. I have walked pre-dawn (usually with my dog) for years. If a man crossed as described when dark, I'd assume

he was crossing to make me more comfortable, heading in that direction, or (given I typically have a dog that, though totally nonthreatening, might be perceived differently) was crossing to avoid the dog.

I wear a head lamp or light attached to a pocket on my vest when I walk so I am seen. If a male approaches with no reflective vest or light, I am at least appreciative of his mumbling a friendly "good morning" to let me know he's there (or "on your left" of coming up on me while riding a bike). A lot do not do that though, which has me pulling my pepper spray keychain out of my pocket, just in case. I doubt I am the minority of women doing so, but I am not "spray trigger happy" so no one has to worry.

[Fla Dem]

3. Maybe all those reasons more or less.

I'd probably ignore it thinking he had a reason for crossing the street. It would be his behavior after crossing the street that I would be more concerned about. If he started going in the same direction as I was going but staying a bit behind thinking I wouldn't notice him, then I would become concerned.

[LizBeth]

5. That is what I tried to describe below. Get behind you then comme back over.

So they may have crossed the street but until there is distance I would still pay attention.

[LizBeth]

4. Mostly, especially day and safe neighborhood, I would not be thinking about it.

I mean not at all for any reason. Living in urban uptown Minneapolis at 11 night walking dog I would still keep an eye. I had one man, one time, scary moment late at night walk past on other side, then crossed diagonaling toward me as I was heading for the entrance into the building. I just increased speed and got there first, and some people came out and I shouted to them. But mostly in all my years I am not in that situation. If I was walking further on the street and late, people not around and he crossed street casual and not predator I would appreciate it.

[biophile]

6. I am not normally suspicious but usually watchful

So no matter what side of the street I would like to be aware of any other person. I think overall, I appreciate the distance given by crossing the street. Crossing closely on the same side of the street is more fraught with possible danger. Situational awareness is always good advice.

[CrispyQ]

7. I don't worry when I'm in a residential neighborhood unless someone's acting strangely or it's dark.

And I don't expect men to cross the street to avoid me & I'm cool with men greeting me, like "Good morning." What I don't like, & this applies to everyone not just men, is when someone takes up most of the sidewalk & you have to do all the accommodating, sometimes even stepping off the sidewalk. WTF?

[Scrivener7]

8. I don't try to figure out his motives. But if we're alone on a street, I do

keep an eye on him whether he crosses the street or not, and I know where he is in relation to me until we can't see each other anymore.

I think the closest a man can come to understanding is to think about how it was during the beginning of Covid, when it was often fatal and you didn't know who had it and could infect you.

At that time, I imagine if you came upon someone walking near you and they moved away, that's great, but you'd still keep an eye on where they were in relation to you, and you'd keep distance between you. Because you just didn't know.

[MontanaMama]

9. I would assume that the man crossed because

that’s the easiest route for him to get where he’s going. When a man is coming toward me on the street or on a hiking trail, I appreciate a “hello” and a little space when we pass each other. It makes me feel seen and doesn’t require me to be physically close which is extremely uncomfortable for me. I’m not very big in stature so when a man gives me physical space, I feel a little more safe.

I am almost always walking with my dog and I never walk with air pods in my ears so that I can clearly hear what’s around me. I live in an area that’s considered safe but that doesn’t mean anything, really. It is safe until it isn’t. I carry pepper gel for two reasons: bears and aggressive people.

[Shermann]

10. I've noticed people still give wide berths to others when out walking, it appears to be leftover from the pandemic. nt

[Irish_Dem]

11. I walk twice a day for a total of 4 to 6 miles per day.

It is a safe area.

Frequently men walking towards me will get off the sidewalk into the
street or cross the street before they get to me.

They appear to be avoiding walking next to me as they pass.

I am not sure what it means exactly.

We do have narrow sidewalks, but I am quite small and there is enough
room for two people.

I do not assume an ulterior criminal motive here, but I might
in a strange or dangerous neighborhood.

The men who do walk on the sidewalk to pass me will usually not say hello until
I say hello first.

I have also noticed that if I am walking with a female friend, the men do not cross
the street as much and are willing to say hi first. In fact they will smile
and say "Hello Ladies."

So the men appear more comfortable dealing with two women as opposed to just one.

I am not sure what is going on in the male mind here.

[anciano]

13. RE: the "male mind" ....

Perhaps they are trying to show you courtesy and respect by giving you space and not speaking first so you will not feel uncomfortable or threatened in any way?

[Irish_Dem]

19. Yes this is quite possible.

And/or it is about their comfort level too.

Maybe they are concerned about how they are perceived in society these days.

Some years back I was on a family outing and a male relative and I had both had some
recent surgeries and needed to take a break, and the rest of the family moved on to see some sights.

So this relative and I are sitting on a bench in a tourist area and he spots a small child lost and crying.
He quietly pointed out the child and asked me to go to the child.

I asked him to come with me and he said no.
He said males have to be careful these days and he did not want to
be seen with a young crying child stranger. He said as a female I would be safe to do so.

I had never thought about the male perspective in this way before so it was an eye opener for me.

But yes I think you have a point, the males on my walk appear to be showing some respect to a female alone
and do not want to appear threatening.

Sometimes when I see men, I have started to go off into the street first, to save them the trouble of doing so.
Also it doesn't make me feel like Typhoid Mary so much, they have to run in the street away from me.

[Orrex]

12. Thank you for the answers, all!

[Kali]

14. I would assume he was afraid of me.

for good reason.

[Orrex]

15. Well, obviously!

[Kali]

16. to be honest

my first reply was going to be "walking?"

[Orrex]

17. I figured I was over-thinking it, but that it also couldn't hurt to ask

I try to be conscious of others' concerns, and I hate making people uncomfortable.

Unless they're Trump KKKultists, of course. Then it's a blast!

[Kali]

21. I don't think you need to cross the street to make someone feel comfortable

a polite good morning, pardon me (passing) or whatever and keep moving is fine.

[ProfessorGAC]

18. No Opinion Here...

...but I found this an interesting thread.
Good question!

[Elessar Zappa]

20. I usually cross the street if I see a lone woman walking up.

I guess I figure it’ll make them more comfortable? Maybe that’s being a bit sexist on my part, I don’t know.

[Intractable]

22. You are literally asking the question, "Why did the guy (chicken) cross the road?"

To get to the other side.

[Orrex]

24. LOL

More like "Why does the onlooker think that the guy (chicken) crossed the road?" but I take your point.

[XanaDUer2]

23. Kick