A guy was applying for a job with the Trump campaign...
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The interviewer asked him, "do you have any allergies?"
"Yes. To caffeine."
Then he asked, "do you have any military service? President Trump loves it when veterans are working on his campaign."
"Yes I do. I was deployed to Iraq five times and Afghanistan three."
"Fantastic. Were you wounded?"
"Unfortunately, yes. During the Battle of Kandahar I was in a mortar attack, and lost both my butt cheeks."
"You're hired. The office opens at 9am, but your reporting time will be 11am. Don't worry, you'll be paid for those two hours."
"Why will I come in two hours after everyone else?"
"We spend the first two hours of every workday standing around drinking coffee, scratching our asses and getting nothing done. You won't need to be here for that."
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