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LuckyCharms

(18,965 posts)
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 08:37 PM Oct 21

Story time. I may have gone a little overboard today.

This will be a rambling post that I would like to share. It's stupid, so please don't get mad at me if you choose to read this stupid post.

I'm feeling about 90% better since my hospital stay. I've taken quite a long tolerance break from weed gummies since I've been on so many other medications, but now I decided to eat a few of them tonight about an hour ago, so I hope I can get through this post before I fall asleep.

When I was in the hospital, my wife came to visit me. I was very doped up on all kinds of pain meds while she was there. When I'm like that, I get much more verbose than usual and just ramble and crack jokes like an idiot. I totally lose any filter I may normally have. I call people on my contact list and just talk shit, and then I forget what the hell I said to them.

So my wife was there visiting me. She was dressed up nice, and I'm laying there in my hospital gown.

A specialist came in that I never met before. Let me tell you, this woman doctor was impressive as hell. EXTREMELY intelligent, very beautiful, warm, friendly, and with an absolutely perfect and reassuring bedside manner. She started having a conversation with us, and I started rambling about something. I have no idea what I said, but she started laughing hysterically. She gave my wife one of those "OMG WTF" looks, and my wife just said "I won't be able to stop him. It's the pain meds". The doctor put her hand on my arm and said "You're funny"! And I broke into that Goodfellas routine "How am I funny? Like I'm a clown? I'm here to amuse you"? She understood the reference, and continued laughing.

Things got serious later in the conversation, and my wife admonished me for something the doctor told me I needed to do, but was reluctant to". She told the doctor "Don't worry, he WILL do it".

The doctor spent a ridiculous amount of time with us. When she left, she patted my arm and gave my wife a big hug, and told her something like "you're tremendous, and I love the way you communicate. I know you will take good care of him".

This of course made my wife feel very good, and she has been bringing up what the doctor said to her quite a bit since I've been out of the hospital.

We both went to see this doctor as a follow-up today. She came in the room and gave us both full body hugs. She's amazing. 35 minute visit. I had my game face on and was on my best and friendliest good behavior. Best doctor's visit ever. Best doctor ever. Absolutely amazing.

A few hours after we got home from the visit, my wife asked me if the doctor's notes were up yet on the portal. I called them up on the PC, and my wife said "read them to me". She was sitting across the room. and again, remember my wife has been going on and on about how the doctor complimented her, for days.

So I started reading her the doctor's after visit summary.

Me: Luckycharms is a very pleasant, well-developed 66 year old male.

Me to wife: Um, did you hear that? She said I was VERY pleasant. Not just pleasant, but VERY pleasant. How come you never tell me I'm pleasant? I don't think you've ever said I was pleasant, let alone VERY pleasant. You heard me read that, right? She said i was VERY...

Her: Please shut the hell up and keep reading.

Me: I continued to read through her notes. Got toward the end, it said something like "blood pressure was taken in left arm with a long cuff".

Me: Did you catch that? She said "long". How come you never call me "long"? I've never heard you call me "long". You know what she's trying to say here don't you? She had to type "long cuff" but she was thinking "MY GOD, HIS TRICEPS ARE FREAKING MASSIVE". That's really what she was trying to say. How come you never compliment me like that? You never call me "long", you never compliment my massive triceps, you never...

She let out a big sigh, rolled her eyes and said "That's it. I'll read the rest of it tomorrow, and she walked out of the room. As she left she yelled "YOU'RE FREAKING INSUFFERABLE!

I simply responded by saying...No, I'm VERY freaking insufferable. See? You never compliment me. You said I was insufferable. Why can't you compliment me for once and say the word VERY? I'm insufferable is kind of a weak compliment. You could have said I'm VERY insufferable, but you didn't...

She slammed the door and went out on the front porch.

Now she's pretending she's mad at me, but she starts laughing when she looks at me.

This may all sound silly gentlemen, but banter like this is what keeps you married for decades without killing each other.

Of course, I'm probably wrong. She's probably laughing tonight because she's going to serve me divorce papers tomorrow.

i'm sorry if you read this to the end. I'm very sorry. VERY sorry.

22 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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LuckyCharms

(18,965 posts)
4. Thank you, I am.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 08:47 PM
Oct 21

But see, the thing is people on DU compliment me more than she does. How can that be? People I've never met face to face! How is that possible?

You just called me lucky. She never calls me lucky! Why the hell is that? Let alone VERY lucky. You'd think she could at least call me lucky once in awhile, but no. And VERY lucky? Forget that. That will never happen, I mean how hard is it for her to call me luc...

LuckyCharms

(18,965 posts)
8. How am I funny? NO, you said it, Niagara! How am I funny? No no Tommy, you got it all wrong...
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 08:59 PM
Oct 21

He's a big boy, Anthony. He knows what he said.

How am I funny?

True Dough

(20,257 posts)
10. "I had my game face on and was on my best and friendliest good behavior."
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 09:10 PM
Oct 21

^ You blew it right there. Other elements of your tale are plausible but you being on "friendliest good behavior"? Ha!

Glad you're 90% of the way back, buddy.

LuckyCharms

(18,965 posts)
11. You'd be surprised my friend!
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 09:16 PM
Oct 21

DU is where I let my inner idiot out! I'm baked as hell and it took me 20 minutes to type the word "surprised".

But in real life, I'm normal!

Well, not normal, but...

To you...

True Dough

(20,257 posts)
13. But when you're here,
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 09:19 PM
Oct 21

you don't have to be normal. We accept you just the way you are: baked, roasted, fried, zany, cranky as hell. Just keep coming back!

ret5hd

(21,320 posts)
12. your doctor here:
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 09:19 PM
Oct 21

i said you SMELL funny…
and your wife is LONG suffering…
and you should get your hearing checked…
and your eyes…i’m a middle aged male.

geesh.

Dem2theMax

(10,274 posts)
15. What I would have given to be in the room the first time you met the doctor.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 09:34 PM
Oct 21


Lucky Charms, you are VERY special to all of us!
And so is your wife!
(You can read this to her tomorrow.)

LibinMo

(561 posts)
16. Lucky, I lost my husband over 4 years ago.
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 09:45 PM
Oct 21

We were together over 60 years. He loved telling stories and making people laugh. That was what first attracted me to him and, I believe, kept us together so long. Your post left me smiling with a few tears on my cheeks. Thanks.

PatrickforB

(15,109 posts)
21. May you and your wife be blessed with many more happy years!
Mon Oct 21, 2024, 11:40 PM
Oct 21

You are funny. Whoops!

VERY

funny, I should say...

Get better!

ShazzieB

(18,655 posts)
22. That was a VERY entertaining read! (See, I said very!)
Tue Oct 22, 2024, 01:18 AM
Oct 22

No kidding, I was chuckling to myself all the way to the end!

This bit really resonated with me:

This may all sound silly gentlemen, but banter like this is what keeps you married for decades without killing each other.

Mr. B and I celebrated 50 years of marriage back in May, and I know exactly what you mean.
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