Handling excessive talkers?

[grumpyduck]

I seem to be running into more and more people over the past few years who just love to talk about themselves and their interests (family, hobbies, trips, problems with their cars, health, etc.) but don't show much interest in in what someone else has to say. Some of them will even take a comment made by someone else and turn it around to talk about themselves. They just walk into an encounter like it's all about them, and of course they like to go and on. Even some long-time friends are doing it.

Sure I can avoid them, and I do as much as I can, but it's difficult to do in places like restaurants. Just today I turned down a lunch invite with some friends because I know one of them will not shut up for the whole hour to get there, then lunch, and an hour back. So I'm looking for tips and suggestions on what to do about it short of telling them to shut up.

What has worked for you?

[Klarkashton]

1. Keep doing what you did, turn down the invites.

Save yourself the money and the time. Life is too short for that shit.

[SupportSanity]

2. We will start seeing more and more arrogance. It's ugly. Non-arrogants find it repulsive. Arrogants find it attractive.

No need to be as nice as you have been.

Excuse me, I need to be some place else.
Sorry, I can't make it. And no, I can't make it to that one either.

You aren't one of them. Unless there is a good reason to fake it, don't.

But survival might rear its ugly head. You might need to listen and be part of more arrogant people's lives than you ever expected.

Survival is tops.

Do what you need to do.

[skypilot]

3. Avoiding them altogether is what works for me.

It's a shame because some of the excessive talkers I know are really nice people but I invariably start to feel the minutes of my life slipping by after listening to them for a while. One of the awkward things about it is that sometimes they will tell me something kind of interesting and it will occur to me to ask them a question about what they've just shared with me but I know that that will just prolong things. One of my neighbors in particular can talk a blue streak and I've had people tell me that he has lived a very interesting life. I'm sure he has but I don't need to hear about it all at once and all the time.

[grumpyduck]

4. Yeah, that happens to me too.

Sometimes I want to ask a question but know what's going to happen.

[JoseBalow]

5. Just whip out your phone and start scrolling TikTok

You can also randomly look up and nod, for effect.

[grumpyduck]

6. I don't do TikTok, but do randomly nod.

[JoseBalow]

7. Any mindless app will do

The point is to make a show of not giving a damn about their monologue. You could also throw in a "cool story, bro" for good measure.

[Skittles]

8. JAYSUS, STFU already

that works for me

[True Dough]

9. Is that before or after

you give 'em a good noogie?

[Skittles]

10. seriously, people who go on and on

just walk away from them