The last straw

[More_liberal_than_mo]

I've been quiet way too long. I've got to get this off my chest or I'll explode. First I need to describe why I've not spoken out any earlier. I work for a news network that tries to remain neutral on political matters. In fact should I reveal my true identity when expressing any political views of any kind that would be grounds for termination. I am a true lefty and always have been despite my upbringing in the Deep South. I'm over 60 by a few years, white and male which everyone assumes means I'm a right wing bigoted Republican. At least until I decide to tell them otherwise. I grew up in both large towns, small ones and rural areas of Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee. I was educated in 8 different public schools, none of which were integrated. My dad was an extreme right wing Conservative Christian minister in the Southern Baptist Church.
I have 4 younger siblings. One a long time lefty like me and one who switched from the right to the left because he married a lefty. My sister-in-law and I are in lock step on almost every issue. My two remaining siblings are extreme right wingers of the worst type. In the interest of family peace we have an unspoken rule to never discuss politics when any member of the opposite political persuasion is within earshot.
This has worked well until recently when my sister started sharing her extremist views on Facebook. All her posts are now polluting my wall. Surely she knows that I'm seeing this garbage. Out of curiosity I started checking out some of these posts from the dark side and I was shocked into disbelief at the venomous hateful garbage that these people pass among themselves as "the truth".
A recent example is the "Romney won the debate but had a really hard time doing so since he had to debate two people at once, Candy and Obama". In spite of overwhelming evidence, video tape from every network, they still belief that Obama didn't say terrorism on 9/12 and Candy is a liar for saying that he did. I could give a hundred examples but why bother. There are hundreds of thousands of Republicans who will be totally shit upon by their Republican leaders if they gain power in the Congress and Presidency. These people, many of whom I grew up with and are close family members will vote against their own best interest just to keep a black man out of the White House.
Even my sister who recently relayed a message that one of her close friends who didn't have health insurance was "stabilized" and sent home after a heart attack then hit with a bill for the ER for over $30,000 which he did not have and now is facing bankruptcy 3 years before he becomes Medicare eligible answered and said.... Now here is the "LAST STRAW". This is all Obama's fault! Had he not pushed Obamacare through none of this would have ever happened. Even my highly successfully, well educated sister agrees with all the other insane right wing conservatives out there. I know it's getting close to the holidays and I'll have to see her again. I'm about to explode holding this in. Should I cut her and other old friends and family that believe this crap or should I get into a verbal confrontation that probably will split the family apart or should I continue and just ignore this? HELP!

[Sedona]

1. Welcome to DU

Stick around, I for one would like to see your take as the rest of the election unfolds.

[More_liberal_than_mo]

7. I've been here for years

I started reading DU posts in 2004 but didn't official join in until 2008. Thanks for the welcome anyway.
My news network of which I am very proud sometimes get flack from DU readers but I expect that as in our attempts to give both sides of the story piss off nearly everyone at some point. They piss me off too when some right wing nut job gets equal time to "level out the playing field" even when such trash he/she is spewing is not worth the air time we give them. Most of the people I work with at least are civil in their discourse and try to get along at least. Some of my family, neighbors, and "friends" however seen to throw out any hint of civility and wear their bigotry and ignorance like a badge of honor.
I swear part of it is my fault for being a older white southern male. They simply feel that they can get away with it because "I'm one of them". I am not now or ever since I was a teenager in a rural Mississippi been one of them. I realized on day 1 at my 4th high school that what us white guys were saying and doing to the blacks in our community was completely and totally wrong.
I went off to join the Navy during Vietnam and married a European girl. We lived in Europe and other places around the world for 15 years before I finally returned to the southern USA to live. What I saw on my return brought back images of what happened in high school. These same bigoted fools were now the adults running the show. It seems to be in their genes but I know better. It's not genetic, it's mostly what your parents, teachers, friends and neighbors show and tell you is normal behavior. I am quite happy to see that at least some of us that grew up under these same conditions didn't fall for the propaganda.
I've raised 3 great kids who are all now adults that happily have grown up in the south like me but didn't let the propaganda they were exposed to influence their political views and humanity. I take pride in raising them to make their own decisions and not let hate and ignorance shape their lives.
Note: two of the three have lived all or most of their lives in Georgia.

[annabanana]

11. "at least some of us that grew up under these same conditions didn't fall for the propaganda"

So much of what we understand depends on what we're exposed to. You traveled, you spent time well outside the circle of ignorance that many inhabit. Curiosity and travel can go a long way on the road to enlightenment.

[fern]

12. =)

hugs

[demwing]

2. I don't know why you've been "quiet way too long"

at DU, you're anonymous here.

You don't pick your family, but there are times when you have to deal with them--good or bad--if you want the other benefits of having a family.

One thing to consider is that by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, the election will be settled. At that time, I suggest you don't gloat too much. A 2nd Obama term will benefit your sister in ways she doesn't yet accept. Time is on your side.

[More_liberal_than_mo]

8. Quiet too long

Maybe it's because my sister and I are near the same age and have been so very close until I guess slowly over the past 15 years she's drifted more and more to the right. She and her husband became much more religious and I was an agnostic then but now consider myself a full blown atheist. They owned their own business and employed 25 of their small town's inhabitants. Their business went bankrupt in 2009 after a mighty struggle to stay afloat during 2008 great recession. Some how they got this insane notion that it was the democrats and especially Obama who were to blame for their business failure. I let her know shortly afterward not to spew her hatred for us dems and Obama and we could get along just as before. Up until recently she honored my requests but lately seems to forget her pledge. I reminded her 4 months ago not to send me any more of her FB propaganda and she stopped. Now it's coming back with her facebook "shares".
I still love her and her family. She has two kids and 5 grandkids that I adore. She always treats me with respect except as noted above. I'm hoping this will all pass after the election, but if not I'm not going to take it laying down.

[Iris]

3. Use the hide feature on Facebook

If you can't out yourself because of your profession, you need to not see this stuff or it will kill you. You've known all along she has these views but won't talk about them in front of you. You can't start in on her on FB. Just hide her posts.

Lately, I've been marking Mitt Romney's paid ads that pop up on my timeline and show which of my friends "like" him as "Spam" or I block them. I alternate the reason between "repetitive" and "misleading."

[fern]

13. hugs

[GitRDun]

4. My thought would be to simply unfriend her on FB

Hiding her posts does nothing. Un-friending her can result in a discussion where you can politely say you cannot risk having anyone see such fact free posts associated with you. You do work for a network, and have some obligation professionally to not associate yourself with extremist views based on a fiction.

Until we can start discussing issues based on fact, we are doomed as a nation.

All of these folks, including some I know and care about need to get off their lazy intellectual rear ends and start thinking, researching, BEFORE they spew creepy dogma from their self confirming feedback loop.

Just one middle aged white guys opinion...

[tblue]

5. If I were you I would maintain some space

For the time being. Unless you can enjoy their company for some other reason, there is no reason to get into it with people so diametrically opposed to your deeply held values, not right now in the heat of the political battle.

If there's no hope of changing anyone's mind, as it sure sounds to me, then attempts to reason with these people are a waste of your time and possibly your health and peace of mind. So why do it?

[fern]

14. yes this

[12AngryBorneoWildmen]

6. Confront!

It's insanity causing the rift, not political differences.

[mjrr_595]

10. +100

agree totally

[Curmudgeoness]

9. I have come to the conclusion

that arguing or confronting some people is a total waste of my time and sanity. I will discuss politics any day with someone who can have an open discussion free of hatred and anger.....but that is getting harder and harder to do. I know the people who I can talk to and those who I will not bother with. My only purpose in discussion is to enlighten to facts or change a mind. When those things will never be accomplished, I just ignore those people. The only exception to that rule is if there are several people around who may be influenced by the discussion/argument.....you know, like they will see the wingnut as extreme and full of hate and my position as reasonable.

It sounds like your family situation is such that there is no reason to open that can or worms. Hide those people on FB if you don't want the controversy of defriending them. Or defriend them as your only statement on the issue. I have several people on FB who are extremist right wingers, and I usually ignore those posts they make. Occasionally I throw my two cents in just to get them to show how ignorant they are---and they never disappoint me. I figure there are many other people who are reading the exchanges. But you can't do that because of your job, so you have to ignore them, hide them, or defriend.

BTW, my sisters are the only family I have left, and they are wingnuts. There have been horrid fights in the past, and I have always regretted going there with them. We no longer discuss anything close to politics. Just for you to think about.

[fern]

15. ^^

hugs

[getrdone]

16. Hard to ignore

I'm new here and while reading your post it reminds me of the same situation I'm having with my sister. She is 6 yrs older than I am (I'm 62) and lives in another part of the country. We are very close but the subjects of politics and religion could tear us apart if we allow it to. I hardly ever get to visit her do to financial difficulties and she is the only family I have left. I love her dearly and decided that life is too short to allow our conversations to get heated. I state my thoughts/beliefs and she states hers and we leave it at that. Neither of us want to 'fight' over such things. I believe since both of us understand that, we can push our differences aside.

After the Obama win my sister was the first to mention it during a phone call. She said in a sour manner, "Well I suppose you're happy." I replied happily, "I'm ecstatic!" That's it. We try to respect each others views.

I truly hope you are able to come to an understanding with your sister. I know it's very hard.
I wish you luck.

[toddmiller]

17. FCC Rule

When a news source gives out false information it should be required to correct the information until people stop believing the stuff. There is some FCC rule that states newspapers should do this and the rule probably doesn't apply to news entertainment which is the worst and of course the FCC rule is not enforced. I think it should be.

[Cal33]

18. Nothing in this material world of ours lasts forever. Remember the saying, "This, too, shall pass."

And, why should we allow opinions to become so deeply ingrained into our hearts? Why is it so important
for us "to be right?" I believe love among family embers is far more important. I would suggest to try
avoid political discussions, even when other family members are involved in them. Your political leanings
are known to them anyway. Just don't get involved and avoid falling into the trap. I know, this is a
very difficult thing to do. I, myself, don't always succeed either. More power to you.

I'll always remember the cartoon of a grave in a cemetery bearing the words, "Here lies John Doe, he had
the right of way."