Georgia
Related: About this forumMy kids live in Atlanta, so it is ok for me to joke about it :)
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta.
Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
It generally takes about an Hour, to an Hour and a Half to get to Atlanta, from Atlanta.
There is no real Rapid-Transit or Mass-Transit system in Atlanta. Theres something called MARTA (Metro Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority) that doesnt cover all of Metro Atlanta, and thats neither Rapid nor Mass. Its more of an Afterthought-last-chance-of-getting-someplace-Transit
Carpooling rarely happens.
Atlantans love their cars as much as their privacy. There are High Occupancy Vehicle lanes that had to be converted to toll lanes because there werent enough 2 or more passenger cars to make it worthwhile.
People have been ticketed for having blow up toys in the passenger seat and dolls in car seats just to try and fake carpooling.
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." except for Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken" (Including GPS directions).
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Or any of the 30+ additional streets that have Peachtree in their names.
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down
Peachtree.
Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink here so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.
EXCEPT Atlantans never say Co-ca Co-la, nor At-lan-ta.
You drink a Cocola in Atlanna
The gates at Atlanta 's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
The 5 p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm.
All remaining hours are the lunch rush hour.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m. Saturday.
Red Lights and Stop Signs in Atlanta aren't treated as LAW. They're more like suggestions.
If the Light has been red for a while, you probably should stop, but if it's only about to turn red, speed up - You Can Make It!
And a STOP sign is treated as a "Slow-down-just-enough-to-make-sure-there's-not-a-cop" Sign.
Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh LEE-awn."
And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."
The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.
I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, has a posted speed limit of 55-65 mph but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over and is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
And 285 has wonderful directional signs that advise towns like Augusta, Greenville, Chattanooga, Birmingham, Montgomery, and Macon depending which part of the Circle of Hell you are trying to enter. BUT, 285 does NOT take you to any of those cities. It merely points you in a general direction that might lead you there eventually on other highways.
Hell, 285 wont even take you to Atlanta. Just ask Pascual Perez.
Don't believe the directional markers on highways: I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop ." If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.
Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy, and your AR-15 has a full magazine.
Possums and armadillos are flat animals that sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia .
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia.
If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu.
It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store) - also can be pronounced "Fixinta".
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.
Drum
(9,799 posts)agingdem
(8,541 posts)her house is in Brookhaven but when my son-in-law takes the trash to the curb he's in Buckhead...Lenox Mall is close by..and almost weekly someone is killed or assaulted in or around the mall so if we are into sacrificing our lives for a new pair of shoes, we run, heads down through the parking lot (I'm 73 so you can only imagine!) ....as a deterrent there are security guards at the main mall entrance but there are at least four other entrances with no security...and absolutely everything is on Peachtree, off Peachtree, near Peachtree, and if it's not on, off, or near it's in the "burbs"...as for the traffic, well, GPS lies (much like timed Apple updates)..."25 minutes to destination" is bullshit on a backed up accident riddled freeway...as for the Atlanta airport security lanes...all I can say is a Disneyland wait line is still faster than Hartsfield Jackson...and yet, with all of that, I'm about to sell my home and move to Atlanta, one of the most vibrant multi-cultural cities in the United States...can't wait
lapfog_1
(30,214 posts)sorry, Arizona has you beat on this one.
Everything, and I mean everything, in AZ actively wants you dead and has the means to do it.
Ocelot II
(121,120 posts)lapfog_1
(30,214 posts)thing in the ocean...
Ocelot II
(121,120 posts)"The octopus produces venom containing tetrodotoxin, histamine, tryptamine, octopamine, taurine, acetylcholine and dopamine. The venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis, blindness, and can lead to death within minutes if not treated. Death is usually from suffocation due to paralysis of the diaphragm." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-ringed_octopus
hlthe2b
(106,483 posts)And on behalf of ER Medical staff and Veterinary Emergency Clinics throughout the city...
Kindly kill the venomous snake you place writhing in a thin cotton pillowcase before bringing it in for identification and treatment of your envenomated family member, friend, or pet. Want to keep it alive for later release? Then damn... Put it in a sealed aquarium with no more than airholes sufficient to keep it alive.
Think that is a rare phenomenon? I got news for ya! Not just Atlanta, surely, but damn...
bamagal62
(3,668 posts)I used to live in Inman Park and people coming to visit me (mostly from Bham) would ALWAYS get lost.
They would call me and try to describe where they were (which was usually the absolute most dangerous neighborhood in the city) so that I could direct them out of their loop of one way street hell. Many sometimes lost for a hour or more. You also cant get off an exit in Atlanta and expect to be able to turn around and get back on the interstate. It just doesnt work that way! I refused to get on 285 EVER. Its terrifying as no one goes less than 85 and the lanes are extremely narrow. Anyone who lives in Atlanta (intown) knows every back street. My kids went to school down near the airport (they rode MARTA). But, if I had to drive there I always went the back way and never got on I85/75. I will say though, I love Atlanta and would move back in a heartbeat.
patricia92243
(12,851 posts)doing 75. Cars were zipping by like I was sitting still. They had to be doing 95 or more. Scared me to death!
Casady1
(2,133 posts)and it wasn't city until 8 years ago.
lark
(24,224 posts)Still, love Hotlanta.
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)House of Roberts
(5,710 posts)All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." except for Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken" (Including GPS directions).
Well, we didn't have GPS back then, but learned about the Big Chicken right away. Then we had to figure out 'the perimeter' and 'spaghetti junction'
Laurelin
(644 posts)But somehow not on any of the streets named Peachtree.
It was a nice place to live but I hated driving in Atlanta
Phentex
(16,521 posts)and I'd be lost if I couldn't find my way back to Peachtree at times.
Also I have argued with my husband about this:
"And 285 has wonderful directional signs that advise towns like Augusta, Greenville, Chattanooga, Birmingham, Montgomery, and Macon depending which part of the Circle of Hell you are trying to enter. BUT, 285 does NOT take you to any of those cities. It merely points you in a general direction that might lead you there eventually on other highways."
These signs are useless even when they say east/west and north/south because it depends on where you are on the circle!
We also added the Joro spider recently.