Shithole town bans motherfucking swearing

[Joe Shlabotnik]

ALBERTA - Some fucking shitheaded municipality in butt-fuck nowhere Alberta has passed a tightassed ban on motherfucking swearing.

“We think this ban will make our youth more respectful,” said the tit-for-a-mayor of the backwater shithole he calls a town. “We have many problems with our kids using offensive language these days, so we’ll see how this ban goes.”

Many of the dimwitted local fucks think the goddamned ban is a great fucking idea along with a shitbrained youth curfew and increasing fines that will completely fuck-over young people and other ass-clowns.

However, some constitutional dickwad and complete asshole-lawyer thinks the fucking law will be struck down.

http://www.thebeaverton.com/local/item/1778-fucking-shitheaded-town-bans-swearing

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

1. ...

“It’s a clear violation of the Charter and our freedom to express ourselves in public,” explained the guy who clearly has a stick up his ass.

At press time, fuck you.

[marym625]

2. Hey!

Tits are good things! The mayor, not so much

[yeoman6987]

3. It's a Canadian city. We don't dictate what another country does

Glad an American city hasn't done this....yet.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

4. yeah but I'm a Canadian,

and like our US brothers and sisters.... the conservatives are out of control everywhere.

[yeoman6987]

5. I thought Canada was very liberal.

Surprised you even have one conservative. Although Canada can't possibly have Tea Party goons. I would fall over on that fact.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

6. Ohhh man, don't even know where to start.

Canada has been led by a far right conservative for the last 8 years. And sadly about 1/3 of our population support this shit. Our Liberal party, is actually Neo-liberal, and cowed into neocon stances on topical issues, and our democratic socialist party just dropped the word 'socialism' from their constitution last year....

[yeoman6987]

9. Oh my gosh! So sorry to hear this.

I have been lucky to have visited Canada at least a half dozen times and enjoyed it so much. Last time was in 2002. I am sadden to hear that even Canada isnt immune to the crazies.

[blkmusclmachine]

14. Sounds just like the "Democrats" in the US. I notice you Canadians also have the Big Brother thing

going on. And, then there's this...

Understanding Harper's Evangelical Mission

Signs mount that Canada's government is beholden to a religious agenda averse to science and rational debate.

Any Canadian listening to the news these days might well conclude that the Republican extremists or some associated evangelical group has occupied Ottawa.

And they'd be right.

Almost daily, more evidence surfaces that Canada's government is guided by tribalists averse to scientific reason in favour of Biblical fundamentalism -- or what some call "evangelical religious skepticism."

From where does the government's extreme animus towards journalists, environmental groups, First Nations and science (and I've put together but a partial list of victims here) arise? The moment demands we take a close look at Stephen Harper's evangelical beliefs.

Unknown to most Canadians, the prime minister belongs to the Christian and Missionary Alliance, an evangelical Protestant church with two million members. Alberta, a petro state, is one of its great strongholds on the continent. The church believes that the free market is divinely inspired and that non-believers are "doomed."

[More at http://thetyee.ca/Opinion/2012/03/26/Harper-Evangelical-Mission/]

[Joe Shlabotnik]

15. +1 nt

[gordianot]

31. I think it may have something to do with speaking English.

Canadians sound too much like Americans or vice versa. A couple years ago I met a Canadian truck driver that had an Arkansas southern accent. Turns out he had lived in Arkansas for 6 years. It is truly frightening what happened to him considering he spent most of that time in a truck.

It is good to know someone else deals similar problems.

[rpannier]

13. Alberta and Manitoba

Think Montana, Idaho and North Dakota

[Joe Shlabotnik]

16. and a lil bit of Texas 'specially when it comes to Tar Sand oil

oh, and sovereign citizens.

[C Moon]

7. fuck

[Joe Shlabotnik]

8. CSIS just started a file on you.

[C Moon]

11. :D

[Gman]

10. Well, as they say,

profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate mother fucker.

[47of74]

12. Fuck em.

[Brigid]

17. Could this be satire?

[Warpy]

18. Now that's some fucking good journalism.

[NBachers]

19. I can't remember the last time I laughed so damn-ass hard

[MADem]

20. OMG, I laughed my fucking ass off! Then I clicked on the goddamn link to see if the

verbiage was actually there! And son of a b-word, it was!!!

Hilarious!

At first I thought this was an ad for Schitt's Creek!

[Hissyspit]

24. I am enjoying that show.

[MADem]

25. "It's OK--it's his sister!"

He's holding her so she doesn't fall in!!!



I know--I am laughing my ass off at it, too. It is a hidden gem. Eugene Levy is always fabulous, his son is remarkably adept in his part, and the rest of the cast is top notch. I like everything about it, the absurdity, the pacing, the writing--it's a lot of fun!

[laundry_queen]

34. I love it too

Love the son, he cracks me up the most, but the whole cast is great.

[misterhighwasted]

21. da fuk?? haaahaa..funny schitt Worthy of a Bookmark!!

Dumfuckistan is in Canada too??!!! Nooooo

[rationalcalgarian]

22. Here ya go (NOT the Onion):

Bill Graveland, The Canadian Press
Published Saturday, March 14, 2015 7:21AM EDT

TABER, Alta. -- Insp. Graham Abela is an angry man.
Not yell, swear or spit-on-the-sidewalk angry but angry just the same over the public ridicule Taber, Alta., has been subjected to since the town of 8,104 enacted a bylaw to clamp down on bad behaviour.
The bylaw levels a $75 fine for spitting in public and a $150 penalty for yelling, screaming or swearing in a public place. There are also limits on noise from bars, noting the town's "quiet hours" are between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m., and police are allowed to order groups of three people or more to disperse.

(That means any group of three or more people these inbred, mouth-breathing fuckwits in Taber don't like can be"dispersed".)


But, it gets better!


The mocking has included a group of guys from Edmonton who called it the "Footloose bylaw" and suggested a Kickstarter campaign to pay for Kevin Bacon, the star of the 1984 movie, to attend a dance party outside of town.

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/taber-alta-residents-get-defensive-over-bad-behaviour-bylaw-1.2279740



Thankfully, this shithole town is being mocked and ridiculed loudly and will be a source for one-liners to our fine stable of Canadian comics!

[Turbineguy]

23. Profanity is

the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

26. Therefore, you must swear creatively!

Make up new words! Learn to cuss in foreign languages, it's fun, you worthless figlio da putana!!

[MADem]

28. I beg your pardon!!

Don't you mean "...the goddamned crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker?"



I don't know why, but swearing when people aren't angry just makes me laugh!

[Jamaal510]

27. They might've banned swearing

because they got butthurt from being called a "shithole".

[rationalcalgarian]

29. A very good analysis of this "bylaw"

Given by a local Taber lawyer as a guest columnist in the local paper.


http://www.tabertimes.com/blog/2015/03/11/local-lawyer-weighs-in-on-community-standards-bylaw-controversy/


(Sorry, no swearing )

[laundry_queen]

33. That is a good analysis

and pretty much what was said on tv on numerous stations (CTV, CBC) - these laws would never hold up in court.

[Jack Rabbit]

30. After he loses on April 7, let's send Rahm Emanuel there for a vacation

He should just love a place like that.

[BrotherIvan]

32. Fuck yeah

I already live and work in the town ruled by his moterfuckin brother. So let's send that one somewhere else.