Boris Johnson says "I do", but in a very specific and limited way

[Soph0571]

Boris Johnson's wedding vows exclusively revealed

A Downing Street official told us, “It is perfectly normal for a high-profile couple to get engaged, telling everyone including the media they’re doing it, and to then get married in secret just days after some pretty damning negative press.

“I should also point out there is no truth in the rumour that Boris demanded a ‘quickie’ marriage after someone said he could declare all gifts and loans in the last couple of years as ‘early wedding gifts’.”

Meanwhile, we have gained exclusive access to Boris’ wedding vows, which he had drawn on a flash card next to a childish doodle of some boobs:

“I, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson take thee, the third one, to be my current wife,
forsaking most others,
to have and to hold from this day forward until such time as it is no longer convenient,
for better, and only better,
for richer, and much richer,
in sickness (as long as it’s not one of the bad ones),
to love and to cherish, till something better comes along,
as long we both shall live comfortably.”

https://newsthump.com/2021/05/30/boris-johnsons-wedding-vows-exclusively-revealed/]

LOL.
The timing of this wedding could not look more dodgy!

The Daily Mash actually predicted this happening in a satire piece on the 27th...


https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/johnson-brings-forward-wedding-to-this-afternoon-20210527208533]

You literally could not make this shit up.

[littlemissmartypants]

1. Isn't this a comedy, satire site?

[Soph0571]

2. yes, but the wedding was real n/t

[Emrys]

5. Satirists are having a very hard time keeping up with the Tories' real-life shenanigans. n/t

[muriel_volestrangler]

3. And the Mash follow-up: Johnson places advert for mistress in Times

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/johnson-places-advert-for-mistress-in-times-20210530208673

[Soph0571]

4. LOL!

[ShazzieB]

7. OMG, that's funny!

Was not familiar with that site, but now I wonder where it's been all my life.

[OnDoutside]

6. Tis love, surely ? Whaddya mean it distracts from his latest disaster.

Hitler married Eva Braun before the end too.

[Soph0571]

12. Hahaha

Good one!

[Cosmo Blues]

8. In America

A wife doesn't have to testify against the husband, in England, do you have the same law?

[Emrys]

9. The same sort of law of "marital privilege" or "spousal privilege" applies in the UK.

https://uk.practicallaw.thomsonreuters.com/0-522-0935

Some have suggested this may have been an impetus behind this rushed marriage, but on past form, the real driver may be much more mundane or weirder. The most damaging behind-the-scenes communications between Johnson and his now wife may have already occurred so it might not apply, but who knows what's to come?

[muriel_volestrangler]

10. In England, but not in Scotland

This absolute immunity lasted only until the entry into force of section 80 of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984, which restored in limited cases the ability of the prosecution to compel the testimony of the spouse of the accused (later amended to include civil partners), namely where the defendant has been charged with "assault on, or injury or a threat of injury to" the spouse or a child under 16, or a sexual offence toward a child under 16.[9] In addition, under the 1984 Act, the defence can almost always compel the spouse to testify,[9] and as set out in section 53 of the Youth Justice and Criminal Evidence Act 1999 a spouse will generally be competent to offer testimony voluntarily.[11] However, a spouse (or civil partner) who is an active co-defendant to the charge can only testify for the defence (and cannot be compelled to do so by either side), part of her own right to the privilege against self-incrimination.
...
As of the Criminal Justice and Licensing (Scotland) Act 2010 spouses and civil partners are compellable witnesses.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spousal_privilege#Testimonial_privilege_2

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/asp/2010/13/section/86

[Emrys]

11. I certainly appreciate someone acknowledging the difference between English and Scots law

(which my Reuters link above didn't, and also skimped on the details yours provides).

Johnson will no doubt be tried and imprisoned for life (my fantasy) under English law, unless he flees across the border and all of a sudden recognizes Scotland's sovereignty and claims refugee status.

I'll bear the distinction in mind should my wife and I find that our past acts and omissions finally catch up with us.

As I said above, I suspect the impetus behind Johnson's sudden wedding will end up being more tawdry than even my fevered imagination can conjure.

[Cosmo Blues]

13. Thank you both

As an unmarried Southern California I'm sure that is all the information about spousal privilege I'll need in England and Scotland