Crash driver 'swerved to avoid octopus'

[muriel_volestrangler]

A driver who swerved "to avoid an octopus" before crashing has been arrested on suspicion of drug-driving.

Police were called to the A381 between Malborough and South Milton in Devon, where they found a vehicle upside-down in a ditch on Tuesday evening.
...
Officers, who tweeted about the incident, said they found no evidence of an octopus on the road.

Octopuses are not unheard of in the seas off the south coast of England, but this particular cephalopod would have had to crawl more than 5km over hills and fields to find itself in the path of a car on the A381.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-47144891

The puns are plentiful - "the long arm of the law", "kraken down on drug driving", "a case for the cephala plod" ,"the care lost control and went into a squid" ...

[Siwsan]

1. Maybe the Detroit Red Wings were in town for a match - they bring their own Octopus

[Harker]

4. I sent letters to protest throwing octopuses onto the ice.

NHL executives, ESPN executives, game announcers, and Redwing brass all got barraged.

The only response I got was from announcer Gary Thorne, who said he couldn't agree more on the issue, but was offended by a word I used to describe octopus hurlers.

Octopuses are sensitive, intelligent creatures. I like them.

[Siwsan]

5. I'm not a sports fan, but I always found that practice to be pretty barbaric

I'm not even sure if they are still doing it. The very fact that I even KNOW about this would shock most of my friends because, like I said, not a sports fan, at all.

[Harker]

6. Nor am I, anymore.

I winnowed it down to ice hockey years ago, now I can't work up any excitement for that, either. I think they have the abuse pretty well squelched in Detroit now, though.

Life's a lot richer without wasting all that time!

P.S. I admire a lot of your posts... thanks.

[Siwsan]

7. How kind! Thanks!

[Dead_Parrot]

2. I once ripped an axle off avoiding a penguin

Granted. I live in NZ, but I know that feel.

[Harker]

3. If it isn't too painful to ask...

what about the parrot... or is that a Python reference?

[Dead_Parrot]

9. It's a python/kakapo reference.

Some years ago NZ moved all the remaining Kakapo's from Fiordland to the Chatham Is.

But they are not dead.

They are just pining for the Fiords.

[Harker]

10. Pining parrots...

I hope they find joy.

[Dead_Parrot]

11. Come to NZ and find the Keas!

Not only the only Alpine parrot, but also the only parrot that will fly off with your iPhone. For fun.

No, we don't know what they do with them either.

[Harker]

12. I'd love to, thanks!

Mrs. Harker and I plan to retire soon, and do more traveling. Her eldest, now 21, visited a couple years ago - and was delighted with being there.

As bird enthusiasts, it would be a spectacular change for us. Neither has yet crossed the equator.

[Dead_Parrot]

13. Oh, have to come, then.

*wakes up, yawns, scratches ass, Looks at 20 species in back yard, puts coffee on*

[Harker]

14. I'm a tea man...

but a championship quality yawner and ass scratcher.

I'll be working on it.

[Dead_Parrot]

15. NZ is basically 60's Britain.

We have tea.

[Harker]

16. That clinches it.

Birds... fjords...tea...white vinyl thigh boots and miniskirts...

[Dead_Parrot]

17. Ahh...

...For those birds you want Napier. In summer.

[Harker]

18. Looks nice there.

Just a quick lookup mentioned wineries (a mutual favorite) and that Napier is central to the wool trade. Mrs. Harker had a yarn shop, and is a sheep-loving knitting enthusiast.

We'd been thinking only of Scandinavia for our next extracontinental excursion, but NZ clearly merits serious consideration.

First, there's much to be explored in the New England region of the US.

Thanks for the inspiration and the suggestion!

[Dead_Parrot]

19. Ahh, wool trade...

...You want Masterton, home of the Golden Shears.There are also some decent vineyards in the Wairarapa....

[Harker]

20. Thanks.

I'm starting to get a bit wound up about this.

Is there any literature, travel accounts or otherwise, that you would think to recommend to a potential traveler?

[JuJuYoshida]

8. cocaine's a helluva a drug