What to do when you get low "People Skills" score on a review.

[DaveJ]

The boss just let me and a few others glance at our review scores before our actual review. So I haven't talked about it with him yet, but I noticed an incredibly low people skills score, like 2.6 or something, out of 5 I think.

I'm a programmer and I'm doing the best I can to communicate with other people. I'm not sure the reason he's going to give. I can only say now that I've been doing my upmost to be kind and smile and talkative (but not too much so). I am not derogatory toward anyone. If people have a question I do not belittle them because I know they just don't know. So anyway, I feel in my heart I'm a good person and outwardly too, as much as I can.

I was actually voted the shyest kid in my high school, a long time ago. I've been to therapists, I've become comfortable talking to strangers off the street, even when they don't want to talk to me. But in some sense my personality is just engrained. How am I supposed to change my personality?

Sometimes I feel like I'm being a ridiculous people person, like the annoying insurance salesman. Most of the time when I try talking to someone it is usually that they don't feel like talking to me, like I'm the one who should just go back into my shell.

On a side note, I think it might be somewhat political. I'm new, and there is an old timer who I know is in trouble for being downright mean to people. But I think my boss needs to be able to say "yeah but I gave Dave an even lower score" for some political reason. So I'm really not that concerned.

[goldent]

1. During the review I would say (in so many words)

that I want to improve my people skills (ignore your feeling of whether you need to, or even if you can). Say "I want to get a 5 next time" Go on to say that to do this I need to know specifically what I am (or am not) doing so I can improve. I want to write down a list of specific things I can do, so that if I do these I will have an improved score next time. If he/she gives a vague response, you can say "I hear what you are saying, but it isn't very specific - I really need to know more specifically where the problems are - I want you to give it to me straight with concrete examples because if I really don't know what the problem is, I can't improve."

I have seen this work, but it of course it depends on your boss. The idea is to give every indication you want to improve, and to put the ball in his/her count by making him/her give you specifics, with the idea that if you follow the plan, you will get a much higher score. And it wouldn't hurt to have a chat with him/her after a month or so where you make the case that you are improving, so that he/her knows you are thinking about this. Or send emails giving him progress, if you want a written record.