Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
Fri Sep 26, 2014, 01:39 PM Sep 2014

Very strange feelings.

I can't explain this quite yet, since I have always been frugal and never was embarrassed by my frugality. But I just lost my job, and when I went to the produce stand to ask if they had any "seconds" of the green peppers, I was embarrassed. Now I have done this every year, since a peck of seconds sells for $3 and I chop them up and freeze them for use through the whole year. It doesn't matter if they are in perfect condition, since they will be mushy from the freezing process anyways, and even if some of the pepper needs thrown out, it is still a great deal.

So now that I am forced to worry about money, it feels different. And that just makes no sense to me. Frugality is a lifestyle for me and always has been, and I never had a qualm about it. Has anyone else ever had this happen, when suddenly they are in a position to NEED to watch every penny more than in the past? I suppose that I should just be thankful that I know so many money-saving tricks, and I should be proud of that. What the hell!

18 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Very strange feelings. (Original Post) Curmudgeoness Sep 2014 OP
I went frugal because of need and not by choice. Kaleva Sep 2014 #1
Sorry you had to be in a position of need Curmudgeoness Sep 2014 #4
I hope Sherman A1 Sep 2014 #2
Thanks, but I don't see it happening. Curmudgeoness Sep 2014 #5
Understand Sherman A1 Sep 2014 #7
Sorry about the job loss. But I'm sure a smart survivor like you will come through fine. IrishAyes Sep 2014 #13
It is true that I should not be worried over. Curmudgeoness Sep 2014 #15
I am not at all embarassed by my frugality. RebelOne Sep 2014 #3
Well, I never was before either, Curmudgeoness Sep 2014 #6
First, so sorry about your losing your job cbayer Sep 2014 #8
I think that you are onto something. Curmudgeoness Sep 2014 #10
Yes, I think you have it exactly right. cbayer Sep 2014 #12
Sorry to hear about losing your job. Starboard Tack Sep 2014 #9
Thanks. I had never heard of that site. Curmudgeoness Sep 2014 #11
In Los Angeles, IrishAyes Sep 2014 #14
There's a lot of folks on Plan B, and looking at C... Eleanors38 Oct 2014 #16
It does seem that life's realities get in the way Curmudgeoness Oct 2014 #17
Yep. Since I cut back to 15 beers/wk., nights end early! Eleanors38 Oct 2014 #18

Kaleva

(38,541 posts)
1. I went frugal because of need and not by choice.
Fri Sep 26, 2014, 01:54 PM
Sep 2014

I didn't feel embarrassed about it. What made me feel good was that every night I was able to go to sleep without worrying about how I was going to pay the bills. While I often didn't have much more then pocket change for spending money, the basics were covered. And for that, I was quite thankful.

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
4. Sorry you had to be in a position of need
Fri Sep 26, 2014, 04:55 PM
Sep 2014

but I am glad that you learned how to be frugal. It isn't as easy as it seems and some people just cannot do it. And I agree with being thankful for just the basics being covered....that can be a major deal.

I am not sure why I had that odd feeling come over me. I have been in dire straits before, and I truly do not remember how I felt about it then.

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
5. Thanks, but I don't see it happening.
Fri Sep 26, 2014, 04:58 PM
Sep 2014

I am at that awkward age----61 (just turned that age this month). I am one year short of taking early SS, but I believe that I am too old to find another job. The only good thing is that, because I have been frugal, I do not need much to live on and I do have some savings. This just wasn't the plan.

On to Plan B!

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
7. Understand
Fri Sep 26, 2014, 06:20 PM
Sep 2014

Same age as my spouse who is having health issues and currently on disability. We had hoped to get her to 62 to retire, but now we are just hoping to get as close as possible. The upside for us is that we do have some pension options available, not exactly how we planned but, one does what one needs to do.

Best of Luck to You!

IrishAyes

(6,151 posts)
13. Sorry about the job loss. But I'm sure a smart survivor like you will come through fine.
Mon Sep 29, 2014, 11:57 PM
Sep 2014

Yes, there's a lot of difference between doing something for pleasure and doing it to survive. Been there, done that too many times to count. I'll spare you the long list. But the only thing that got me safely to early retirement on a wing and prayer was the fact that I'd always saved as much as possible, and I sucked it up enough to make a sea change in my retirement plans.

I could move to the beloved Northeast and rent a room, hoping for some kind of job but likelier being forced to live on savings for 3 1/2 years, then facing an extremely painful early retirement. Or I could turn my sights to flyover country - aka the Bible Belt - and buy the nicest house I could score in an economically depressed area and live as a stranger in a strange land but at least with my privacy and elbow room. It's been hard as hell but still the right choice under my circumstances. I've planted so many trees and bushes that I can sit on my front porch in absolute privacy and pretend I'm home in Maine. Same climate as southern ME. Despite the challenges and occasional heartbreak, plan B turned out best for me all considered. I count my blessings and am happy enough most of the time, occasionally quite so.

That's why I have no concerns about your doing well in this challenge too. The method you formerly practiced for pleasure has been a good teacher and will prove a true friend now and forever.

No offense, but you're one of the last people I know that I'd worry about.

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
15. It is true that I should not be worried over.
Tue Sep 30, 2014, 10:19 AM
Sep 2014

I will be ok, this just was not in my plans. One more year would have been better so that I could have gotten early SS, but I will also have to go with Plan B. How many of us end up with Plan B!

I am truly lucky to have a house that is paid off and no debt except for the usual bills we must pay. Just like you, I have always saved money from my first job all the way through my life. That makes me better off than most people. It is too bad that I never was able to find really good paying jobs so that there was a lot of money to save, but I can't complain.

I am glad that you found a life and a place where you can be happy. To be honest, I don't think many of us are living where we would love to live. We end up where we are for so many other reasons, but make the best of it.

RebelOne

(30,947 posts)
3. I am not at all embarassed by my frugality.
Fri Sep 26, 2014, 04:19 PM
Sep 2014

I had been laid off my job in 2010. I was already 71 years old and wanted to retire, but was trying to get more money into my 401K. But I was forced into retirement. So for 6 years I had been collecting social security along with my salary and had extra money to spend on whatever I wanted. Now that salary is gone and my only source of income is my social security. I am now learning how to be very frugal and watch every penny.

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
6. Well, I never was before either,
Fri Sep 26, 2014, 05:03 PM
Sep 2014

and I know that this will pass soon. But it was just so odd to have this happen. As I said, I have done this all my life.

You were lucky to be able to work to 71 years old. I am now 61, and that is a bad age to lose your job. But I know I can survive. I have been a single woman all my life, and that makes you tough.

cbayer

(146,218 posts)
8. First, so sorry about your losing your job
Sat Sep 27, 2014, 06:59 AM
Sep 2014

and hope you find another soon.

I think there is a difference between making frugal choices as a matter of free will and being forced to make frugal choices. It has to do with the way we shame people in need in this country. Think how embarrassing it is to pull out your food stamp card in a line at the grocery store. Think how many people look at you and your purchases with an arrogant and critical eye.

You should be proud of your money saving tricks, but I don't know how to help you do that.

Like I said, I sincerely hope you get another job soon.

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
10. I think that you are onto something.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 01:19 PM
Sep 2014

It all comes down to the way our society shames people who are poor. It is definitely different to make a decision to live frugally and to be forced to do so. But don't get me wrong, I really am proud of how well I have learned to save money. It really isn't about frugality. I cannot put a finger on it, but you may have.

I already have worked my way through that odd sensation of being embarrassed. It just came over me at the time, and I had to work out why it happened. Free will definitely covers it.

As to finding another job soon, I am not optimistic about it. At 61 years old, I think most decent jobs will be out of my sight. But we will see. I will be fine, though, even if I can just find part time work. The only problem I foresee if health insurance costs. At least I know that I can live on very little money, and I don't have any dependents to worry about. I think that is what causes most people to feel a desperation that I am not feeling. (Well, I do have a cat, but as long as I keep him in food and clean the litter box, he doesn't ask for much. At least I don't have to think about how I will put clothes on his back and shoes on his feet.)

cbayer

(146,218 posts)
12. Yes, I think you have it exactly right.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 10:31 PM
Sep 2014

You are in such a difficult spot.

Although you are clearly bright and articulate and very level headed, those doing the hiring are likely younger than you and unlikely to recognize the wisdom you could bring to a project.

What a conundrum!

I don't know whether you have been able to access ACA options in your area, but I think the law was written in such a way that it is actually affordable for all to have insurance. I have it for the first time in 10 years and I think it is saving my life.

I am totally with you in terms of the wonderful feeling of knowing that you can make it no matter what.

For you I wish fair seas and following winds, curmudgeoness.

Starboard Tack

(11,181 posts)
9. Sorry to hear about losing your job.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 01:08 PM
Sep 2014

You should never feel embarrassed about being frugal and asking for "seconds". You are setting a good example to others and should feel proud of that.
Regarding finding work, are you familiar with fiverr.com ?
If not, and you have any skills, you might want to check it out.

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
11. Thanks. I had never heard of that site.
Sun Sep 28, 2014, 01:32 PM
Sep 2014

It seems to me that people doing work on that site are selling their services too cheaply though. I just glanced around and will look deeper into it, but it might be a good place for me at tax time, since I have done income tax prep in the past. As to my profession, I do accounting, and I am not sure how many people need that from an online source.

Talk about feeling embarrassed, and how I shouldn't feel that way-----this is from a person (me) who goes to the cemetery when they clean the flowers off the graves at the end of the season, and when they have them at curbside to be picked up by the trash trucks, I look for the newest ones that are in great shape and make wreaths and other crafts with them. And this never embarrassed me. So how weird to have that sensation!

IrishAyes

(6,151 posts)
14. In Los Angeles,
Tue Sep 30, 2014, 12:12 AM
Sep 2014

I used to visit the nursery on trash day because once the dumpster was curbside, it wasn't stealing for me to remove easily reached good prospects on top. I know which plants are easiest to revive, so those are the ones I took. Had beautiful gardens for nothing but a little timing and elbow grease. Heck, I wouldn't even buy anything at a thrift store unless it was marked down at least 50%.

 

Eleanors38

(18,318 posts)
16. There's a lot of folks on Plan B, and looking at C...
Wed Oct 8, 2014, 10:27 PM
Oct 2014

I took early SS at 63 because with employment prospects running on Empty, to wait for a higher SS payment would have meant chewing up my savings account. So now my savings are shrinking slowly, the IRA is in a fixed eq for another 3.5 yrs, I have no debts, and my Austin house is free & clear. Yeah, I wanted 200k in my IRA (I have half that), and a few more yrs of decent income, but I don't regret my retirement choices so far; besides, if I get some dinky job, it won't affect my SS payment.

And I have no problem buying used clothes, muscling a huge old TV into the house and rigging an older antenna, keeping a 20 yr old delivery van running, and letting the Asian buffet and happy hour serve as a night on the town. And I very much look forward to my deer hunts and resupplying my freezer for another year.

Most people cut old folks some slack when it comes to how and what they purchase, and young folks wouldn't be caught dead dressing well in Austin! BTW, my last job was driving. Driving! And I quit it for reasons obvious to me if to no one else. Good luck. Draw SS, keep your savings intact, find some kind of work.

Curmudgeoness

(18,219 posts)
17. It does seem that life's realities get in the way
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 10:28 AM
Oct 2014

of all the things we plan, doesn't it? I expect that I will be fine, and once I get some of the things that have been put off for too long done (since I never had the free time to do them with full time work), I will be looking for at least part time work for a few more years. That would at least keep me from digging into savings just to survive. I am like you in that I had hoped to save more before being out of the job market. But life didn't work that way.

You made me laugh at the night on the town.....sounds familiar. And luckily, I don't need to have many nights out (although I really do enjoy the Asian buffets).

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Frugal and Energy Efficient Living»Very strange feelings.