I'm an old woman now, but wonder if I missed

[angstlessk]

out on my life.

One thing I remember my mother telling me is that the only time she wanted her daughter to die is if she was a lesbian..

Didn't mean much to me at the time, but.

I was raped at eleven, and because I accepted beer from my rapists my mother blamed me for being raped. I turned into nymphomaniac..not that I enjoyed sex, I had it with anyone willing.

Then I joined AA and met a group of gay women, with whome I had sex with one.

I never had friends, but I enjoyed their friendship.

I left AA and that was the end of my gay encounters, though I think they were where I belonged, as I never felt like I belonged any where else.

I just wish I went with my instincts, rather than my mothers hatred.

[Botany]

1. Grin by Robert Service ... Strange things done under the midnight son ....

If you’re up against a bruiser and you’re getting knocked about

Grin.

If you’re feeling pretty groggy, and you’re licked beyond a doubt

Grin.

Don’t let him see you’re funking, let him know with every clout,
Though your face is battered to a pulp, your blooming heart is stout;
Just stand upon your pins until the beggar knocks you out

And grin.

This life’s a bally battle, and the same advice holds true

Of grin.

If you’re up against it badly, then it’s only one on you,

So grin.

If the future’s black as thunder, don’t let people see you’re blue;
Just cultivate a cast-iron smile of joy the whole day through;
If they call you “Little Sunshine”, wish that THEY’D no troubles, too

You may grin.

Rise up in the morning with the will that, smooth or rough,

You’ll grin.

Sink to sleep at midnight, and although you’re feeling tough,

Yet grin.

There’s nothing gained by whining, and you’re not that kind of stuff;
You’re a fighter from away back, and you WON’T take a rebuff;
Your trouble is that you don’t know when you have had enough

Don’t give in.

If Fate should down you, just get up and take another cuff;
You may bank on it that there is no philosophy like bluff,

And grin.

[angstlessk]

5. I've been pretty upbeat through out my life

it's just that as the end gets closer, I kinda wish I lived my life as I should have.

[MLAA]

2. 💖💖💖💕💕💕💖💖💖

I wish you peace dear angstlessk. After all you’ve been through I wish you peace.

[shenmue]

3. I am so sorry

[handmade34]

4. we must believe

it is never too late to live our life as we want

[TEB]

6. Peace to you

[dewsgirl]

7. I am so very sorry.

[angstlessk]

8. See I'm crying because the gay community

is the kindest, most forgiving community of all.

I did belong there, I think that is why I was so upbeat regardless of what happened to me...maybe there is a gay gene, cause all the gay people I met, men and woman were upbeat.

[enough]

9. angstlessk, you are a powerful writer. You've written a whole life's dilemma with great intensity

in an uncannily brief passage of words.

I wonder if writing might be a path for you, or maybe you’re already on it.

Peace to you.

[angstlessk]

11. Thanks. I call myself the angstless rhymer

but I've lost most of my rhymes over time.

omg...found an old post

https://angstless.wordpress.com/

[Karadeniz]

10. Parents can do so much damage... Not exactly unconditional love. Don't be defined by untruths!