Dancing in the Light of O'Shae Sibley

[Jilly_in_VA]

In the world of senseless crimes, I never thought I’d see the day when someone would be murdered for dancing. But here we are, living in a world without O’Shae Sibley. As more details develop about how Sibley was killed and who his killer was, it becomes clear that Black, queer people are still enemy No. 1 even when we are minding our own business and simply existing in a bubble of joy and self-expression.

We are the boys who played with dolls that were taken from us and replaced with trucks and tools to project masculinity. It didn’t work. Our innate beings fought against the notion that we needed to present a certain way to be worthy of love. As children, we chipped away at the internalized homophobia that forced us into shadows and closets and boxes. We now live in the light despite the world’s attempts to extinguish us. And we will stay in the light.

We are the boys who wore our mothers’ heels until what was once seen as “cute” became a threat to the notion of how boys are supposed to act and be. But that desire to live vibrantly never left us. We have become the ultimate arbiters of fashion and style.

We are the boys who spoke like lightning and rainbows, exchanging words of energy and freedom. Our language has been stolen, sold and commodified for commercial use while we are still vilified despite being the originators of it. It has never stopped us from continuing to live in our truth.

“To be visibly queer is to choose your happiness over your safety,” author Da’Shaun Harrison has aptly noted in their work. We are the boys whose spirit and well-being have been dismissed. And yet we refuse to be defined by outdated societal norms that stubbornly persist. We are living our unapologetic truths despite the hatred and harm inflicted upon us. Our Black queer heroes were stolen from us, stories erased or never told, and yet we get to be the heroes to future generations of Black queer children.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/oshae-sibley-black-queer-grief_n_64d0fa7ae4b01638f324b7db

[Lunabell]

1. Hmm. I get the gist of this, but

it seems even queer people leave out women. Lesbian or non-binary representation is either minimized or in this case not mentioned at all. My wife got grief her whole life for being "butch". The world needs to wake up to the fact that LGBTQIA representation is not just gay men. Most LGBTQIA tv and movie representation is male.

We are here and we are queer, too.

[ggma]

2. I think that this was an ode to a

particular individual and event, and not about the community.

gg

[Lunabell]

3. Yes, I understand that.

But the reality is that women are often left out of the LGBTQIA representation. Most popular culture movies and tv shows are about gay men and their relationships. I'm tired of being overlooked, especially when it comes to bending gender norms. Drag kings exist and hardly ever get mentioned. Gay is not just for men.

[ggma]

4. No worries Luna

I understand your sentiment. I identify as bi and get tired of either biting my tongue or lecturing.

(This is where I would put a "hugs" emoji, but I'm working with a Kindle) 🙂

gg

[Lunabell]

5. Thanks, I'm sick of being marginalized by men and "boys" in the queer community.

The article talks about queer people and choses to say "we are the boys". Queer is more than boys. It encompasses a vast community of gender benders who aren't boys.

And unfortunately misogyny is alive and well in the LGBTQIA community. I can't tell you how many gay men, drag queens and trans women (internalized homophobia or misogyny?) who call women "fish". Disgusting and I'm sick of it.