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Related: About this forumMy Daughter Was Assaulted in a Hospital. Body Cams Could Have Brought Us Justice. TRIGGER WARNING
My Daughter Was Assaulted in a Hospital. Body Cams Could Have Brought Us Justice. TRIGGER WARNING
PUBLISHED 6/29/2024 by Anonymous
emergency-room-body-cameras-child-abuse-assault(Cavan Images / Getty)
Editors note: This essay contains references to child abuse and sexual violence.
I knew my child was a fighter her first night home when she went wild boar on my chest to get at my breasts. Like her ancestors before her, she was a survivor. Im glad I didnt know then all that she would endure. When she was 16 months old, she had a cold with a fever. The neighbors baby, the same age, also had the symptoms. We had all hung out during the day with us moms putting them down for naps, giving them childrens Tylenol and watching them play.
That evening, I made the mistake of putting her in a long-sleeved onesie. Her febrile, or feverish, seizure began while I was nursing hershe was choking on my milk. I was terrified. I ran out of our apartment with her in my arms, screaming for help. She looked purple. The seizures stopped and I instinctively patted her on the back to stop the choking. One of my neighbors, a nurse, put us in the car and drove us to the emergency room. Once there, they gave me paperwork describing a febrile seizure. They made it clear that a febrile seizure was the result of a fever spiking and was unlikely to cause permanent damage. I was tremendously relieved. If only the danger of that evening had ended there. The medical staff did not want to release us until she was given a catheter in case there was a UTI. They never told me that catheters to check for UTIs can lead to UTIs or that UTIs were not commonly associated with a fever in infants.
My daughter is remarkably strong. She kicked her legs and did assisted presses into standing from nearly birth. She was an early walker and an early talker. She was savvy for a 16-month-old, and she knew a kind and nurturing environment. The hospital room was not a nurturing nor safe environment for her that evening. The first round of violence included several medical personnel attempting to hold her down and insert the catheter. The catheter insertion did not go in. She used her strong legs, arms and coreher entire bodyto reject what they were doing to her. She made her body completely rigid. She was crying. I was pleading with them, Can we please not do this? But they kept at it. What was a traumatic event spiraled out of my control and into abuse. One male healthcare worker in particular seemed to relish in the power of being in charge. He and I were in a battle; the more I tried to protect my daughter from him inserting this apparatus into her urethra, the more he insisted upon doing it. He discounted the 16-month-old patient on the bed in front of him. He had all the power.
Afterward, they told me they were unable to get a catheter, so they would wait to see if she urinated during the next houras if she would be able to vacate normally immediately after that violation. We were never offered the non-invasive alternative of urinating before the attempt at a forced catheter. She did not do what they needed her to do in that timeframe and a small group of them came back. I cried and screamed inside as my daughter was assaulted again. They held her down and forced the catheter into her. She screamed on the outside. She buckled her body. She went entirely stiff. She cried, she yelled. We cried and tried to resist. We were not successful, neither were they. They told me they had still not gotten a catheter but they had caused bleeding. I did not know the language, I refuse these medical services, to intervene on behalf of my daughter. Six people assaulted or aided the assault on my daughter for no medical outcome.
. . .
Especially when male doctors are going to be in the vicinity of female private parts, there must be consent, at all ages, at all times. If the ER staff wore body cams, if I had a video of that hospital room to offer as evidence of the sexual assault of a minora toddleras evidence that the Hippocratic oath was breached, then I would be less likely to be seen as a mother overreacting. We would have a pathway to achieve a modicum of justice. Without it, I am just another mother of a child who can say #MeToo.
RAINN, the nations largest anti-sexual violence organization, has a 24/7 hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) and a chatline at online.rainn.org.
https://msmagazine.com/2024/06/29/emergency-room-body-cameras-child-abuse-assault/
The Blue Flower
(5,636 posts)How is she doing?
niyad
(119,939 posts)slightlv
(4,332 posts)My best friend was sexually assaulted in a hospital-like rehab center. This happened just months ago, and she's still a total mess over it, even with therapy. Again, it ended up being her word against his. I'm one of those who detests the cameras-everywhere society, the lack of privacy, etc., but it seems like it's going to have to be that way for women to protect themselves against men.
niyad
(119,939 posts)isolated case. I hope that she gets the help and healing she needs and deserves, and I am glad she has you beside her. And I agree with you about our camera everywhere society, only wish I had answers.
Jilly_in_VA
(10,890 posts)We used some kind of disposable device--I forget what it was called__that taped on. It was quite easy for boys, of course, somewhat less so for girls, but it worked. But NEVER a catheter.. And we only used it for collecting a specimen one time, not continuously. I have never, EVER, in my 30 years of nursing,, seen anyone try to catheterize a young child, at least not while they were conscious. That borders on criminal!
niyad
(119,939 posts)not even imagine such a thing being common practice. Criminal and sadistic to an appalling degree.
3catwoman3
(25,448 posts)Jilly_in_VA
(10,890 posts)I had a momentary glitch. Remembered the one we used, "Wee-bag", later in the evening also.
Bernardo de La Paz
(50,922 posts)Doesn't seem like a useful thing to do, all things considered.
I wouldn't want to be recorded when I'm in my worst states.
niyad
(119,939 posts)But surely, having read the article, you can understand the woman's grief and horror, and desperate search for answers?
Bernardo de La Paz
(50,922 posts)Bernardo de La Paz
(50,922 posts)Won't see doctor's hands doing manipulations, but would see facial expressions, surrounding actions, and there would be other evidence from vitals correlated with doctor's actions.