Feminists
Related: About this forumKarenS
(4,653 posts)intaglio
(8,170 posts)the reason a woman I knew carried a brick in her handbag
safeinOhio
(34,143 posts)is just a hello. If a persons age and looks matter, you may be guilty of pre-judging other humans.
yuiyoshida
(42,768 posts)Can be down right creepy and scary. Your name is interesting, "safe in Ohio". Not everyone feels safe where they live. She lives in New York City. Not all hello's there are friendly ones. Some are even an invitation for trouble.
safeinOhio
(34,143 posts)On the other hand, most are. My problem with the clip is that only those from young and attractive males are to be trusted and welcomed. I say hello to everyone, young, old, whatever. I see some young females take offense to my hellos and others don't, even though my hellos are just that and never a hello-o-o.
My being safe in Ohio ls a long story, but it has to do with an ex-wife that is a cop.
I have found that people are the safest on the street when they show confidence and courage and don't appear to be afraid of anyone. Those that look away can be showing fear and to a predator that means victim. Hold your head high, look people in the eye and hello back, no need to smile, just be polite. About half of the creeps and rapist in the world are young and attractive.
intaglio
(8,170 posts)The old and creepy comment came only after the a second piece of harassment was itemised - "aren't you going to say hello to me?"
yuiyoshida
(42,768 posts)being complimented by young and attractive males. They were on their way some where, and THIS IS NYC.. and she ignored the hello's because she never felt obligated to return someones hello, because yes, its a scary place to live in these days. Maybe out in the rural areas people are more friendly but in major cities, this is never a wise idea. I live in San Francisco. No one says hello, unless they are trying to drag you into their shop to sell you something. I avoid that confrontation. Its better to not invite confrontation than to open yourself up to it.
chervilant
(8,267 posts)I have found that people are the safest on the street when they show confidence and courage and don't appear to be afraid of anyone.
This statement is thinly veiled victim-blaming (and I get that you likely didn't intend to victim-blame). Rapists will rape no matter how you act, dress or look. Rape is a power-over act, and solely the responsibility of the rapist.
intaglio
(8,170 posts)Please learn to listen ...
safeinOhio
(34,143 posts)I listen well.
intaglio
(8,170 posts)But, hey, if you feel happy about older, unkempt men making passes at you then I'll not stop them.
safeinOhio
(34,143 posts)is that making a pass at you?
I've had older unkept men make passes at me, no problem and I'm a straight male. It is not the "hello" that should matter, only what is said after that. Many rapist and violent men are young and handsome and don't have crumbs in the corners of their mouths.
intaglio
(8,170 posts)about 8 years back when I was 54 I had to read a utility meter of a much older (80+) woman who smiled and said hello, and yes it was a pass - as was proved when she groped me as I bent over to do my job.
Bad choice of parallel ...
safeinOhio
(34,143 posts)I still love the odd looking folks I have made friends with that have improved my life experience.
chervilant
(8,267 posts)is delivered with tone and body language that clearly indicates the deliverer intends their "approach" to convey a sexualized interpretation of you, which is why many of us -- of any sexual orientation, both women and men -- do not respond to such offensive "hellos."
I'm pretty confident you know the difference between a friendly hello and the "hello-o-o-o" described by the woman in this video. Furthermore, I think the majority of women don't "respond well" to the sexist and misogynistic "hello-o-o-o-o" and other catcalls to which we're subjected on a daily basis.
(We also don't appreciate having our concerns minimized, belittled or dismissed...)
yuiyoshida
(42,768 posts)Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)I'm not surprised. The trolls who monitor this place would not at all agree with her.
I'm tired of people who excuse this as just being nice. No, we all know the difference between a nice hello and a command hello, thank you.
yuiyoshida
(42,768 posts)Lunacee_2013
(529 posts)we women do not know who really is a "nice guy" and who is a killer or a stalker or a rapist.
That and no one has to answer back. They're free to do that.
Response to Lunacee_2013 (Reply #17)
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