Has anyone read "Gone Girl?"

[leftyladyfrommo]

I'm just curious. I am just finishing up this book and was pretty amazed by the depth of perception about what women go thru to make themselves fit the male concept of what women should be. How we buy into the concept of the "cool" girl. How we try to fit ourselves into the male idea of the perfect woman. All the sexual stuff we put up with that is really disgusting.

This is really a very powerful novel. And, boy did she hit the nail right on the head.

I really wish younger women would just get over feeling like they have to be "hot." That whole thing just destroys your soul.

[CountAllVotes]

1. Sounds like an interesting book

Who wrote it? I think I'd like to read it myself!

[leftyladyfrommo]

4. Gillian Flynn is the author.

It's a movie now. It's gotten good reviews but I have heard that the novel is still better.

[CountAllVotes]

5. Thank you leftyladyfrommo!

I'll have to find a copy to read. Sounds really interesting and spot on!

[SummerSnow]

26. Heres the link...:)

https://www.orionbooks.co.uk/assets/OrionPublishingGroup/downloads/Extracts/Gone-Girl-by-Gillian-Flynn-Extract.pdf


Sounds really good. Im going to read it too

[whathehell]

28. The novel is better, IMO

I disliked the movie for a number of reasons, but one of the big ones

is that it failed to convey ANY of the humor in the book.

[Polly Hennessey]

2. Gone Girl

Read the book and saw the movie. The book was fascinating and the movie was good. I agree with all you said.

[leftyladyfrommo]

7. I didn't really understand just how brainwashed women are

until I got older and could look back.

I finally was able to get to a point where I don't give a flying fuck what men think. I've been a whole lot happier. And I'm so glad I never tried marriage.

My mother really bought into the whole "good wife" thing. She always took the side of men in any argument and all women were the competition. That is what I grew up with. It was drilled into my cells. I would have been miserable in a marriage because I would have never stopped trying to be a "good wife."

[djean111]

3. Yes. I enjoyed it, but, basically two spoiled and vindictive brats. nt

[Feral Child]

6. This problematic mindset seems to be increasing rather than diminishing

from what I can perceive of younger women/girls.



EDIT: Sorry, I haven't read the book, just reporting my dubious observations. I'm not particularly social and most of my input is from TV and the internet. Should have made that clear

[leftyladyfrommo]

9. I know. It's really scary.

Everywhere you look women are dressed to please men. All the media women, all the models. I see it everywhere and it just makes me cringe.

And that Duggar woman who teaches her daughters that wives should always be sexually available to their husbands. Whenever he wants sex you better be right there to put out.

[Feral Child]

24. That group suffers from a peculior sickness.

The whole "Quiverfull" movement.

But that's just an extreme of what seems to be a growing trend.

[yeoman6987]

27. The Duggars are extreme

But the Mom does seem happy enough. Not sure if she is or not but seems to enjoy her life.

[Feral Child]

31. Just my opinion

but her "happiness" is religious fervor, and it's delusional to the extreme.

Also, she's "acting", anything we see will be geared towards promoting her "reality show".

Don't care to go any further on this topic. I have very extreme views on the subject of religion that aren't pertinent to this Group.

[yeoman6987]

32. Understand!

Thanks for replying and have a great day!!

[Feral Child]

34. You to, yeoman. n/t

[leftyladyfrommo]

20. I'm not very social either.

I just see it everywhere I look.

And I've worked with a lot of women who spent a whole lot of time and money making sure they looked hot.

[Feral Child]

25. Yes.

I've seen women, and talked to few young women, who wear clothing they admit is extremely binding and uncomfortable because they feel the need to appear "available" at all times, lest they be judged.

It's troubling. I've been around for a bit and have seen clothing and social fashion fluctuate before, but this seems to be a perversion.

I'm not a prude. I settled down late in life, not till I was 40, and was socially and sexually active until then. The trend in the last decade or two seems to be ever more one of subservience towards men.

I've always appreciated the company of women who were independent and sure of themselves. The current attitude of young women, and young men for that matter, is really disturbing.

"Bros before Hoes"? That's ugly for everyone.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. if only she wasn't also a sociopath is what I kept thinking throughout the whole book.

I saw the movie first so I knew what was going on and it really took away (for me) from that powerful message.

And yes, the cool girl concept = Spot on.

[leftyladyfrommo]

11. I didn't see it that way.

I just saw her as a very attractive woman who tried desperately for 5 years to please her husband and to make her marriage work. And it was impossible. If a woman that attractive and intelligent can't keep her marriage together then no one can.

I haven't gotten to the end yet.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. did you see the movie? she is a murdering sociopath.

the things she did with her boyfriend in high school and her girlfriend in college and what she does with Desi. Classic.

also, all the time she spent setting up her husband to take the fall.

[leftyladyfrommo]

17. I haven't gotten that far. And I haven't seen the movie.

I might really change my mind about her as an individual after I get to the end.

But I am still really interested in what she had to say about what her marriage was like. I just know so many women who have ended up in marriages like that. They just keep trying and trying and trying. And they live miserable lives.

It's a really interesting book.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. agree with you and I will shut up now because I am ruining the plot line for you. Where are you

in the book?

[leftyladyfrommo]

22. She's living in the cabin.

Shoot. I would rather that she was just a woman scorned and not a crazy ass bitch. I hate it when women who finally get sick and tired of the whole rat race have to be crazy.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. Exactly. Gillian ruins the powerful feminist message in this book by making Amy crazy. -

That is what really disappointed me. Because she is so Spot On about Young Women in Society. Enjoy!

[Nay]

37. Oh, yeah -- to me, the whole premise of the book was that he was a jerk, but

it turns out that SHE is much, much worse. . .what she does to him at the end of the book is hair-raising, and IMHO, he mans up then.

[whathehell]

29. I disliked the movie a lot, but liked the book until

it became, in my opinion, just too unrealistic. The 'girl' in question didn't

really seem like a sociopath until after a certain point.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

35. I kind of wished I had read the book before I saw the movie. and Yes, at some point,

the whole thing is unrealistic unless you take it metaphorically. In that regard, it reminded me of The War of The Roses or Boxing Helena.

[whathehell]

45. Yes, I'm glad I did that.

Overall, I found Amy much more likeable in the book.

I didn't see the other two films you mentioned, so I can't make the comparison.

[leftyladyfrommo]

46. I feel that way, too. After finishing.

It was a great book and the author was telling a story. And she put a great twist on the end. That's what writing thrillers is all about.

But I found myself feeling like it would have been much more powerful if Amy hadn't been a complete psycho, but just a young woman pushed too far.

I did think the end was interesting.

[The Roux Comes First]

10. Read and Enjoyed It in 2012

I made notes that it was wonderfully creepy and suspenseful. I thought the author did an exceptional job of building the anxiety but did cut some corners in the process of trying to wrap up all the loose ends. But definitely in the page-turner category and since read on my recommendation by at least four others.

Your insights and those of others here regarding societal pressures on young women much appreciated.

I have not yet seen the movie.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

13. I think Gillian wrapped it up quickly because, by that time, she was tired of living in Amy's

head. She did leave some very frayed, loose ends with little hope that Amy would ever be found out.

Amy was delightfully sick and twisted but, who wants to live like that. Not me.

[leftyladyfrommo]

15. I didn't see her as sick and twisted. Just fed up.

She certainly was good at getting revenge.

And, no. I wouldn't actually ever want to do what she did or live like she did. But I do understand how she felt and why she was out for that kind of revenge.

The sad part is that she stayed in that marriage for 5 years and just kept trying to make it work.

Honestly, I don't know why any woman would want to get married. It's set up as the ideal. So many women just buy into that. And then it never works out. They just get stuck in lives that no one should have to live.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. Understanding how she felt is one thing, justifying/rationalizing the actions she takes is a whole

other ballgame. Amy was not right in the head and was missing the empathy chip it takes to make one human.

[leftyladyfrommo]

18. I'll keep reading.

I may end up not liking her at all.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

21. I don't know that I don't like her. She is deliciously evil. Like the Wicked Witch in Fairy Tales.

I laughed out loud at the end of the movie. Metaphorically, it works.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

40. If you can't imagine why some women would want to marry

maybe it's because you have no imagination.

I am genuinely, happily married, am not a crazy fundamentalist (although I think some of them are genuinely happy, as well), and am not delusional.

About 40 - 50% of first time marriages will end in divorce, but many of us remain married, and remain happily married. Imagine that.

Just an fyi.

[leftyladyfrommo]

14. I don't think it's just young women.

I know so many women who are a little older - approaching 40 - who just try so hard to be sexually appealing. And it's all such a waste of time and emotion. They should just forget about that whole thing and go do what they love to do.

Did you see that report that said that women are attracted to men close to their own age but men of all ages are attracted to young 20 year olds?

Women should should just give that whole being attractive to men stuff up. Who cares if the guys in the office think you are hot. All that means is that they are having gross fantasies of themselves getting blow jobs from you.

We should give points for not being the "cool girl."

[merrily]

30. Trying to be hot destroys many minds and bodies, too.

To be fair, being hot is not only the male concept of what women should be.



What interests me is that what we consider hot today was not always considered hot. I am not totally sure exactly how we got from Rubenesque to tall, human clothes hanger to massive breast and butt implants, either.

[leftyladyfrommo]

42. I have to tell you this because it explains a lot.

You know Kim Kardashians nude photos? A guy friend of mine looked at those and thinks that she has the sexiest body he has ever seen. He viewed her as the epitome of sexiness. Big boobs and butt and a lot of body oil.

He doesn't care one iota what she is like personally. It just doesn't matter to him.

I'm afraid I found his comments profoundly disturbing.

[Shrike47]

33. I read the first half and the end. I gave up because I could see they were both sociopaths.

I've encountered plenty of people like that in my life, I didn't need exposure to more. I spent 30 years practicing criminal and family law and their mental disorders screamed at me from the beginning.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

36. intersting, in that I did not see him as a sociopath, just lazy and spoiled.

[Nay]

39. Me, too. He was just a regular spoiled, thoughtless, selfish guy, and she is shown to be much

worse than that by the end.

[SheilaT]

38. I've read it. Plot spoiler alert

although this entire thread is a pretty much a plot spoiler, although fortunately no one has mentioned any real details.

The character of Amy is a complete and total sociopath, possibly even a psychopath. There is no larger message about women adapting to men's wishes in this book. Not at all. Nick, by the way, while not a sociopath, is totally self-centered, and in the end is totally terrorized by Amy.

Someone who played the game about the perfect woman and came to resent that the game was necessary, would simply stop playing. She wouldn't go to the extremes Amy does. Amy has the good fortune to be very attractive, and simply makes use of that. She makes use of her assets to do what she wants to do, with zero regard for anyone else. Because she is so totally oblivious to the reality of others, she is able to be caught off guard and therefore robbed partway through the story. Someone else might have had her guard up and not less it happen.

While the movie was in production a big deal was made about how the author, who also wrote the screenplay, changed the ending. Well, she didn't really. It just plays out a little differently, that's all.

I thought the movie was very well cast, and neither Ben Affleck nor Rosamund Pike ever hit a false note in their characters. They both deserve Oscar nominations.

The writer, Gillian Flynn, is amazing, and you should read her other novels. She writes about unlikeable people, and while she doesn't make you like them -- doesn't even try actually -- she does make you willing to go along for the ride.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

41. Thanks for sharing that.

I think I'll skip the book. I have learned that I don't have to spend time around people whom I do not like, and I've begun applying that to characters in books and movies, as well. If a book or movie doesn't have one likable or redeeming character, I've learned to skip it. Life is too short and there's enough negativity in life.

[SheilaT]

43. I do want to say, that even though

the characters in that book, as well as the characters in her other books aren't very likeable, Gillian Flynn does an amazing job of making them interesting and almost sympathetic, both of those enough to lure in the reader and to make the books well worth reading. However, I fully understand someone who simply does not want to spend the time with people like this. There are simply too many good books out there for anyone to waste time on something he or she doesn't think worth reading.

[leftyladyfrommo]

44. I just finished the book.

Yep. Those two deserved each other. And really it was a great twist for the ending of the novel.

But I still feel like the book does say a lot about what women do to stay in their marriages. I really thought the whole early section on Amy was really interesting. And that whole thing about the way younger mistress. So many young mistresses like that are just clueless.

[brer cat]

47. I finished the book last night.

I see your point about the cool girl, but I spent the entire book ruminating about the family dynamics both Amy and Nick had growing up, and how that would have led to their mental disorders. I can't conceive of how Amy could have turned out "normal" when she spent her entire childhood being characterized in widely-read books as "Amazing" and perfect. Moreover, it appears that the parents displayed lavish affection for each other but not necessarily for Amy. There was never a doubt that she was their "money tree." Nick was from a dysfunctional family, and had very skewed ideas about women and relationships. His relationship with Go was especially intriguing to me.

I enjoyed reading the thread (and the book), and thanks for posting it leftylady. This is the first post I have seen on DU about a book I was actually reading.

[leftyladyfrommo]

48. I was interested in their childhoods, too.

It's amazing just how screwed up kids can get just because the environment they grew up in was screwed up. A childhood doesn't have to violent to really mess the kids up.