How many flaws am I allowed to have?

[Neoma]

Last edited Fri Mar 9, 2012, 02:12 AM - Edit history (1)

Acne, fat, small boobs, big boobs, shaved legs and armpits, and lipstick and eye shadow in case I look too plain?

Long hair doesn't look good on you, short hair makes you look like a boy, here's some shampoo, conditioner, gel, dry wax, hairspray, bleach, dye, hair rollers, hair straighteners, and hair glue.

Cover yourself with these clothes, look at how fab it looks! These don't look good on you, avoid them forever. Big sunglasses, big hats, high heels, and long skirts, sunny days are for yellow, in winter you should wear black or brown. Attract a mate, and feel so great, wear this short skirt, wear this make-up, wear the blouse that shows cleavage.

Be available, be assertive, be who he wants you to be. Lose weight, exercise! Or lyposyction your waist. At least you'll be the perfect person to date. When you have him, give him all. Communicate and snuggle. Then just be yourself. After all this. If you can remember.

PS. Since people seem confused. This isn't about me, but how I've seen teens view themselves.

[Cerridwen]

1. I'd settle for not alienating those women who

would be your allies if you didn't decide...at the ripe old age of 24...that you knew better than those who had fought...died...suffered...paved the way...for you.

But...I'm a humorless Feminist.

edit for quote:

• We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attaché cases and our three-piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle. - Erma Bombeck (waaaaaay before your time)

[Neoma]

3. Uh, and that has what to do with the thread?

Insinuating that the current younger generation knows nothing about history is rather off-topic and insulting.

[Vanje]

12. Wha?

nt

[Sarah Ibarruri]

15. Here's the problem - if we're excessively cautious and careful, we will seem to be agreeing with

those who believe that women are by nature imperfect and must re-do themselves to look like Barbies, or they will be rejected.

There's too much of a force to contend with out there which dictates that women need plastic surgery, that women need makeup, that an attractive body is an anorexic one with 36DDD implants, that women need to shut up about their opinions, that women need to look like the attractive 16 year old photoshopped models modeling clothes for women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s. This is what young teens grow up with, and if we are too cautious, and make no waves, there will be zero change.

[Neoma]

5. It's a rhetorical question.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

6. Maybe to you but, having been here for a very long time

your attitude seems counterporoductive to any ratiional discussion of the actual issues being discussed here. But you just go for it. You obviouslly know more that the rest of us.

[Neoma]

8. Counterproductive to...

Rush Limbaugh's lack of advertisers?
The multiple attacks on women by the republican party through birth control, abortion laws and trying to redefine rape?
The international women's day that is just now yesterday?

What, by posting something I was thinking about at 12-1am in the morning? Please.

[ellisonz]

7. People should do what they want to their own appearance...

...with the only consideration being health. Materialism and superficiality may feel empowering, but really they are hollow.

Also, in our sex obsessed culture, I think having goals other than attracting a mate are important. Two words: Seven Billion.

[Neoma]

9. Yep, that just about sums it up.

[gkhouston]

10. My daughter's still in elementary school, but her dad and I have been working

on the "you don't have to be like others" and "be the person you are and not the person the 'in' people think you should be" messages for some time now. So far, it seems to be working well.

[polly7]

11. Yes, what's really scary about all this image is everything

bombardment is the horrific bullying, eating disorders, girls as young as 10 going on Facebook to ask if they're pretty or ugly ?? (WHY would any parent allow this?), the suicides. We heard of cases before, but nothing like it is today. Unless a young girl or woman has a good support system, this constant message that differences / 'flaws' are bad ... is so much more difficult to escape from. When I was growing up, being different was a good thing ..... now, it can be plain torture. I feel so sorry for girls today.

[ismnotwasm]

13. None

Thats the whole point isnt it? If you find a flaw kill it before it multiplies.
Women and how we perceive our 'flaws' are big business indeed. And you are right it starts very young, that feeling of constant physical imperfection. Hard to overcome, hard to find one's own way through all that. (There is nothing wrong with the art of self decoration, but it's ever so much more satisfying when it's meaningful in some way)
It can be done though. It's simply not encouraged.

[Neoma]

14. Made worse through photoshop.

[tech_smythe]

16. I liked how women looked before photoshop

sadly that was almost before my time.
Before you tear me apart give me a moment to explain...

While I know i'm in the lioness's den hear me for a moment, I swear I have a body-image positive point...

I know how feminists feel about playboy and it's ilk. (but I swear it has good articles)
I, personally, find I prefer the old issues from the 70's and before.
there was much less touching up, and the women looked like... women.

When I was married, I would tell my beloved all the time how beautiful she was w/o makeup.
I loved her as she was, mind, soul and body.

We met online so I was deeply attracted to her long before I saw her or heard her angelic voice.

Women are people.

People have flaws. it's how we cope with our real flaws that makes us good or bad people.
Beauty has always come from within, not without.

I am a man. I am not a part of the patriarchy but a victim of it.
I'm not going to apologize for being a man, having balls, and looking at women.
I can only say I treat women with the same respect I would any man.

I saw my ex as my equal in all things. Even though she's decided the grass is greener, I still love and respect her because we were adults about it.

No matter the modern view of beauty, she is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

[Neoma]

17. Well, I saw a playboy from the 2000's.

They looked more like robots than people.

[tech_smythe]

18. Which is why I don't subscribe anymore

My ex felt the same way.
Actually it was funny, she was more into the pictures, I was more interested in the articles and jokes.
Either way, I lost interest in playboy as I matured.

I prefer a real, unedited woman... flaws and all.
I'd much rather spend my days with an "ugly" woman who I can have a conversation with than the most "beautiful" woman on the planet who has spinach for brains.